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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw in towel on TTC after 2 months

170 replies

TTCnum1 · 14/02/2021 17:25

I don't mean to offend or upset anyone with this post and I know there are people who go through TTC for years and years of fertility treatments but I'll start by saying I'm in awe of how you can all carry on.
I'm two months in of tracking, DTD on certain days, taking all of the vitamins under the sun etc and I just can't mentally do it anymore. I've wanted children for about a year and I've been planning this for so long but if it doesn't happen when I'm doing everything perfectly then what's the point. I don't think IVF and adoption etc are what I'd want to do as I don't think I could deal with the stress if I can't even deal with it for 2 months. I just want to stop now before this consumes anymore of my time.

OP posts:
Sunflowergirl1 · 14/02/2021 17:29

Why don't you stop tracking, DTD on set dates and relax and just see what happens which is what most women actually do

DaisyDreaming · 14/02/2021 17:29

Only you know what’s right for you. Can you just not use contraception and see if happens naturally?

Heyta · 14/02/2021 17:29

Yes, sounds like you should stop OP.

Abcmama1 · 14/02/2021 17:29

It took nine months before I was pregnant with my first (tracking ovulation etc), 11 months for my second, and once for my third. Don't stress, just have fun, it'll happen soon.

Marmite27 · 14/02/2021 17:31

Took me 6 months with my first. It was the first month we ditched all the sticks and charts and relaxed.

Ditch the stuff and see how it goes.

fairgame84 · 14/02/2021 17:32

Yanbu.
I'm on cycle 3 and fed up of tracking. Thinking of just giving up and if it happens it happens. On the other hand I'm 36 so time is not on my side.

raspberryk · 14/02/2021 17:33

Why don’t you just do what most people do/have ever done and take folic acid and have sex as normal when you feel like it but without contraception?

WannabeSurfer · 14/02/2021 17:34

The month I stopped fretting was the month I conceived. Forget the trackers and just relax.

Mumdiva99 · 14/02/2021 17:35

I would lighten up. Give yourself a year of just having fun with no contraception. Stop treating it like a military operation (for now). After another year.....then if there is no progress you can get a bit more organised. I really don't think stressing you or your partner out now will help.

Stop worrying about what will happen if.......

Maireas · 14/02/2021 17:35

All that tracking malarkey just puts pressure on you. I agree with pp and just continue without contraception, but ignoring the dates. It can become all consuming and stressful.

Silversun83 · 14/02/2021 17:36

Nearly a year (12 cycles) with my first, ovulation tracking, obsessing, the works. M must have DTD near enough 100 times.

Second we DTD once during the weekend I thought I might be ovulating... And because I thought it would take a while again, it was probably actually a bit sooner than we would have liked!

Even if everything is perfect on paper, everything still has to be lined up perfectly.. The obstacles sperm have to face are incredible! There is actually an amazing video of this on youtube.

NC866 · 14/02/2021 17:36

Stop all the extra effort and just dtd when you feel like it! Around ovulation you generally get more cervical mucus and feel more in the mood so do it then and there’s a good chance it’ll happen within a few months! You don’t HAVE to go in all gung ho with OPK’s and temping and tracking etc... you can just let nature take its course!

Extrapepperoni · 14/02/2021 17:37

If you've come off birth control only recently, it can take time for your body to go back to a normal cycle. Dependent on age etc, it can take longer and be perfectly normal. I second what others have said - just have sex frequently and stop tracking if it is making you stress out about it - it certainly takes the fun out of it. Take the vitamins because they're good for you anyway. (It took us five months to fall pregnant, in the grand scheme of things two months is absolutely no time at all). There are a few good books about conceiving which may be helpful to read to understand how it all works and what you can do to enhance your fertility - things you may not even have considered at all eg. Getting eight hours of sleep!

Honeybobbin · 14/02/2021 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWhine · 14/02/2021 17:41

Your body will tell you when you are fertile and you will naturally want to have sex. Forget all that tracking for now. It's meant to be fun. If you don't get pregnant after a year or so then you can reconsider what to do.

TinyCake · 14/02/2021 17:42

Stop tracking for a bit.

ChonkyChook · 14/02/2021 17:43

Babies consume even more time.
Maybe take a break for a bit, have a think if this is what you really want.

StillCounting123 · 14/02/2021 17:45

OP, what age are you? Is there a reason you feel the need to rush or be so stressed with timings, ovulation tracking etc?

I have read that the average is 6 months TTC.

Really don't think you should stress so much unless there is a big dripfeed coming in your posts and you're 40 years old.

Runkle · 14/02/2021 17:46

So don't track and try a natural approach. No one is making you track so take your foot off the accelerator.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 14/02/2021 17:46

2 months! But how long did you think it would take, do you normally give up easily? Being a parent is a lot harder than ttc in terms of having to dig deep and just keep going. Maybe having a baby isn't the right thing for you just at the moment?

Cocomarine · 14/02/2021 17:47

I don’t think as an IVF I need your “awe”.
If you can’t cope with two months of TTC, I suggest you see a counsellor.
It’s totally naturally to get your hopes up to be one of the ones who conceived quickly - and actually, many do, it’s not silly to have your hopes up.
But to be this stressed after 2 cycles is... well, it’s not normal, and I think you should speak to someone.

LaceyBetty · 14/02/2021 17:48

Wow. I've never heard of anyone being this impatient. I didn't even start tracking until I'd been trying for almost a year.

WunWun · 14/02/2021 17:48

Isn't six months the average time it takes to get pregnant?

Brunt0n · 14/02/2021 17:48

🙄 you could just... have unprotected sex and see what happens? You don’t have to turn it into a military exercise.

However pregnancy and parenthood is stressful so it might not be for you if you can’t hack trying to conceive for 2 months. Wait and try again in a year?

georgarina · 14/02/2021 17:51

I agree with what everyone else has said...is there any reason you've started off TTC with such a strict regimen? That is normally if there are age concerns/fertility problems...I would just relax and let it happen.