To throw in towel on TTC after 2 months

[TTCnum1]

I don't mean to offend or upset anyone with this post and I know there are people who go through TTC for years and years of fertility treatments but I'll start by saying I'm in awe of how you can all carry on.
I'm two months in of tracking, DTD on certain days, taking all of the vitamins under the sun etc and I just can't mentally do it anymore. I've wanted children for about a year and I've been planning this for so long but if it doesn't happen when I'm doing everything perfectly then what's the point. I don't think IVF and adoption etc are what I'd want to do as I don't think I could deal with the stress if I can't even deal with it for 2 months. I just want to stop now before this consumes anymore of my time.

If conceiving is too much effort I'd certainly give some thought to whether you're ready to be a parent!
*This!!!!!!!!!!

18 months in, now about to start Clomid due to a recent diagnosis of pcos. Two months isn't long at all. Please try to stop stressing and relax into it, especially at the beginning.

For every person on a mumsnet TTC thread obsessively tracking everything, there are loads more just going with the flow, having sex at roughly the right time every month and seeing what happens.

There’s nothing wrong with being an obsessive tracker (and for many it’s very understandable and the right thing for them to do if they’re having a tough journey to parenthood). But it’s not for everyone.

I did my time just casually stopping contraception and seeing what happened which gradually ramped up to temp charting, OPKs etc as time went on with no success. We succeeded when I was in the ‘obsessive’ phase but that could have just been pure luck - just as many people will tell you the succeeded when they chucked the OPKs and relaxed.

But it is wearing devoting time every day to thinking about it. You don’t need to start out that way. If it’s stressing you out just go with the flow. With a couple of months data under your belt you should have a rough idea about when you ovulate which can be a helpful guide but other than that just chill out. Most of it is pure damn luck.

Take the stress out of it simply only take folic acid and have sex when you fancy.

If you have only just come off contraception it can also take a while to settle down.

I think it can become all absorbing and consuming. I get why some people do all the tracking etc it gives a feeling of being in control but it's also completely OK to not track etc.

We went for the stop using protection method and took it as it comes it also works BTW!

Bloody hell, I didn’t even know this tracking stuff was a thing. I thought you stopped contraception, hoped for the best and at some point over the next year or so it happened in most cases.only then did you explore other options.

Well that’s how it worked 20 years ago anyway!

Take folic acid, have sex every couple of days to ensure most chance of egg meeting sperm, cut back on drinking, eat well. You're just setting yourself up for too much stress if you try anything more than that two months in.

Maybe stop tracking the dates and take a more relaxed approach. Just enjoy regular sex and take the vitamins as part of your routine.

Honestly, I have never tracked ovulation particularly and we have always taken the ‘let’s see what happens approach’. It really does take the stress out, and it does work as we are now on number 3

You honestly need to stop and have a break right now.

Take folic acid, but no more.

You have no idea how long a pregnancy is and how stressful it can be, so just stop. A positive sign means next to nothing unfortunately, then you have scans which can be heart-breaking.

Nothing wrong with tracking and helping things along, but it's not a magical formula. You are absolutely not ready.

2 months means 2 periods? Seriously? Just stop and relax.

It took me 9 momths to fall pregnant with first dc, i was a bit dispondent for the first few months because i thought it would happen quickly ,then I became upset/ obsessed and starting tracking ovulation and even visited GP who reassured me that taking up to 12 months to conceive is perfectly average/ normal.
I know its easier said than done but try and relax and give it more time- trying for 2 months is nothing and it can take longer than you expect to conceive, I think its about 1 in 4 chance every month providing you have sex at right time so if you want a child keep trying. Tracking ovulation is helpful but ime it can make you obsessive. You probably have a good idea of your fertile time by now so maybe just look out for stretchy discharge a bit like egg whites ( sorry if that too much information!) when you see that go for it!
Good luck!

@Runkle

To pp who said those saying relax/use natural approach are in a position of privilege...pfft you have no fucking idea. I wish. It can be a long ride unfortunately so the more OP can start off relaxed the better.

The advice was based on OP literally only having tried for 2 cycles with no indication of issues. I'd recommend tracking etc if it was longer than 6-12 months.

I have every idea and flushing my only pregnancy down the toilet last month is all I need to know. Don’t you dare say I don’t know how hard ttc is!

goodness me! Just have sex when you feel like it and forget the TTC. One of the few times in your life when you can indulge in contraceptive free sex. Just do it as the advert says

I didn’t even start tracking etc till after a year. You seen a bit dramatic

I just want to stop now before this consumes anymore of my time.

tracking is not even time consuming, neither is taking a couple of vitamins.

Obsessing on the other hand...

which is why posters are advising you to stop for now. It's not healthy and even if you do get pregnant this week, you are in for a very long ride and you are not ready.

Keep trying and enjoy the process! Try not to think about it so much. Take the vitamins and do it a few times a week around when you ovulate. If you manage to understand your cycle you can do it once just before you ovulate and have a good chance of getting pregnant. You just need to understand when you ovulate. Make sure your partner is also taking vitamins. Don’t drink too much coffee or alcohol.

We got lucky this way. My dh has low sex drive, so I didn’t have the option of trying many times close to ovulation.

First two dc we got pregnant first try. Third dc a few years later took 4 months (same method of just one try each month).

You should stop because you are very stressed out atm

After close to 4 years ttc tracking everything
which was difficult as I have very irregular periods, I was just basically dreading every month we quit ttc last September. We finally agreed we would have no more children and the likely outcome was secondary infertility from our second child, we have 2 boys. Mid November I felt weird period was late nothing new there but OH said there was one test left, I took it and still now 5 months later I'm in disbelief at the positive result, our final baby and first daughter is due July.
You never know what the future holds sometimes letting go of the worry is a good choice to make but don't be afraid to have medical help either I've heard and read so many success stories. Good luck xxx

I think you have unrealistic expectations OP. Stop tracking and enjoy sex. Have a look at this link: www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/trying-for-a-baby/how-long-it-takes-to-get-pregnant/

Having never been pregnant before I essentially read MN for advice and everyone seemed to track so I thought that's how people got pregnant.

For the second time in as many days, I'm going to say, "millions of years of evolution". The human race hasn't died out because shagging is enough. For most people. Take folic acid but that's about it.

And yes, some people do struggle, but most don't.

I wouldn't expect to be pregnant in two months. Think of all the times in your life you were afraid you were pregnant and weren't...

Why are you tracking you’re only two months In. I’d stop trying so hard and let nature take its course. At this point there’s no reason to think that things won’t just happen naturally.

YABU! Take folic acid and have plenty of sex. It doesn’t need to be this stressful yet! X

Sorry for the X!

I think you’re trying too hard if youre fed up with it after two months. You don’t need to track etc, just DTD regularly at vaguely the right time and have some fun with it.

As an aside - if you really can’t deal with the stress and uncertainty of TTC so early on and things not working out perfectly just when you want them to, have a think about how you will deal with babies/toddlers when they do arrive. They are gloriously unpredictable and throw your entire organised world upside down. Not meaning to be cheeky in saying this btw, genuinely trying to be helpful - I was shocked when I had my first by quite how big a life change it was in this respect as my nature is to be very perfectionist and it just doesn’t work that way with young children!

Really yabu you know it. Took me 7 years then 3 more years of miscarriages until I got my little bundle of joy.
Our society is so set on the want it now and if I don't get it straight away I'm going to throw a tantrum.
Try to relax, don't focus on it just don't bother with contraception. Drink alcohol occasionally, eat good food, exercise to feel good and enjoy your sleep. It will happen.

I know you know this, but 2 months is nothing really. That's only 2 attempts.

It's probably less easy during lockdown etc as there's less happening to take your mind of it.

Try to relax and find programmes to watch, entertainments etc just to make it easier to live with. x

@PurpleFlower1983 People can take or leave an x. I think on the internet it can stop something we write seeming harsher than it was meant.