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Original poster

To throw in towel on TTC after 2 months

170 replies

TTCnum1 · 14/02/2021 17:25

I don't mean to offend or upset anyone with this post and I know there are people who go through TTC for years and years of fertility treatments but I'll start by saying I'm in awe of how you can all carry on.
I'm two months in of tracking, DTD on certain days, taking all of the vitamins under the sun etc and I just can't mentally do it anymore. I've wanted children for about a year and I've been planning this for so long but if it doesn't happen when I'm doing everything perfectly then what's the point. I don't think IVF and adoption etc are what I'd want to do as I don't think I could deal with the stress if I can't even deal with it for 2 months. I just want to stop now before this consumes anymore of my time.

OP posts:
Moomin12345 · 14/02/2021 19:07

Fine, give up. It's your body and your potential baby, why would anyone want to convince you otherwise? Hmm

Pinkblueberry · 14/02/2021 19:08

Maybe stop - you don’t sound like you have the patience for parenting.

Parkermumma07 · 14/02/2021 19:10

Stop the tracking, stop the worrying, relax and enjoy sex with your partner.
Took me 18 months to realise this! As soon as I stopped with all the ovulation kits, mobile apps to track my cycle etc it happened.

EachBleachBlairTrump · 14/02/2021 19:14

I have diagnosed fertility issues and had been told natural conception was unlikely. Although braced for it longer term, I decided that before getting into all that faff to just come off the pill and have a lot of sex. Ta da DS.... The first month off contraception is often very fertile so not sure why you came off six months before trying. Outside of MN and I've friend u know who has had a lot of difficulty conceiving I don't know anyone who is that militant about conceiving. If you don't have any underlying issues just stay off the pill and keep having sex, think about planning after a year or so of trying

EllasAuntie · 14/02/2021 19:17

How do you think women got pregnant half a million years ago without trackers? Hmm

No things existed when I had mine.

I think I took my temp for a month or so after ditching the Pill a few months before TTC just to see if I was ovulating, then forgot all about it.

You are being a bit barmy, really. :)

PraiseTheSunshine · 14/02/2021 19:20

Honestly I'd not be getting so stressed about it so early on. Forget about the OPKs and tracking cycles for now.

We've been ttc for 4 years and we will need ivf to conceive. But all that tracking and timed intercourse stuff we did early on, caused me nothing but anxiety. It's normal for it to take 12-24 months to conceive and you've only been trying for 2 months. Without sounding too cliché, just try and enjoy the making part and don't stress too much about the what ifs.

TwirpingBird · 14/02/2021 19:21

Those of you saying 'stop. You dont have the patience for parenting' are pretty nasty. That's a rotten thing to say to anyone. Stressing about TTC doesnt make you a bad parent. I was the most stressed out person TTC. I absolutely hated it. I am a bloody good mum. I would have been so upset at anyone saying that to me, but I suppose since you are anonymous you can say what you like 😒

Rtmhwales · 14/02/2021 19:22

OP I do think you're getting piled on a bit here. My friend was the same when she started intentionally trying to get pregnant. She asked on a forum about it and then started tracking BBT, peeing on OPKs, and worrying when it hadn't caught after three months. By month five it was pure panic and asking the doctors to test her. She's just given up now on month six and if it happens it happens. No matter how often I told her at our relatively young age it can take a year for couples even without issues she's convinced it's a defect in her body.

Heatherjayne1972 · 14/02/2021 19:23

I read that a normal healthy fertile woman has a 20% chance of falling pregnant every month
I realise that the textbooks etc would have you believe that it’s instant every time but it isn’t
There’s an average of 6 months trying for most females
You wouldn’t even be considered for ‘help’ until you’ve been having unprotected sex for a year at least - age depending

So ditch the charts and ovulation sticks etc and just enjoy the unprotected sex. See what happens

AuntyMabelandPippin · 14/02/2021 19:28

I conceived first month with DC1. I then took ten months to conceive DC2, because I had a low level infection and my body was fighting that.

I was lucky enough to get pregnant immediately with my other two DC, but I remember being distraught every month when I was trying to conceive DC2. Once I knew there was a reason, I was ok, and conceived as soon as I was free of the infection.

Other friends have taken years, (including failed IVF) to conceive, but as soon as they stopped trying, it happened.

I hope you can try to relax, it should just happen. Good luck.

2020iscancelled · 14/02/2021 19:29

I think you should scream into a pillow, listen to some hype music, have a shower then pull your big girl pants on and tell yourself you got this.

It’s really hard when it’s all you want, when you’re focusing all your energy into something it can be so hard not to lose patience. But realistically 2 months isn’t a long time AT ALL.

It sounds like you’re just having a wobble OP, there’s nothing wrong with that but you’ve got to try and see the bigger picture and not let this journey dictate your every emotion.

TTC is hard, being pregnant is hard, being a parent is hard.... the whole bloody thing surrounding parenthood is hard at times. We all wAnt to give up at times but you don’t. You just regroup and crack on. Sometimes you change your approach and perspective but you just keep going.

Have a rant, let yourself be pissed off for an hour then draw a line. Tomorrow is a new day

latheritup · 14/02/2021 19:30

Just have unprotected sex when you feel like it and hopefully the stars will align.

The more pressure you put on yourself, the less you will enjoy the journey to pregnancy.

Sex shouldn't be scheduled, it should be a fun and intimate moment initiated at the time you both feel in the mood.

Good luck!

Pinkblueberry · 14/02/2021 19:31

Those of you saying 'stop. You dont have the patience for parenting' are pretty nasty. That's a rotten thing to say to anyone. Stressing about TTC doesnt make you a bad parent. I was the most stressed out person TTC. I absolutely hated it. I am a bloody good mum.

There’s stressing and then there’s literally being prepared to throw the towel in and give up on kids altogether after two months. Confused

Sparrowfeeder · 14/02/2021 19:32

@StanfordPines

I think part of the problem is that for good reason young women are told that if you even so much look at a picture of a penis you’ll be instantly pregnant and when you discover that it doesn’t work like that it’s very frustrating.
Absolutely this! This whole topic is taught only with the aim of avoiding teen pregnancies. It is far from accurate.
Lemonsyellow · 14/02/2021 19:34

You don’t need to do any of that. It’ll drive you mad. OK, make sure you’re having folic acid. But you just have unprotected sex and live your life like normal. Keep it fun and lighthearted. That’s it.

DarkDarkNight · 14/02/2021 19:34

Have you been off the pill ttc for 6 months before starting to track or were you using condoms in that time?

If you’re serious and you’ve only been actively trying for 2 months then yes your post is offensive to anybody who has put themselves through hell to try to conceive.

Maybe you can’t hack the expectation of tracking. Just have regular sex and see what happens. You don’t have to try so hard this early on.

CodenameVillanelle · 14/02/2021 19:39

People who post on the conception boards are often having issues with conception. Most people don't do all that because they don't have an issue conceiving. Most people just have sex.

Oregano20 · 14/02/2021 19:40

Bringing another person into the world.. is the the biggest responsibility you can have. Not only have you got to put them before yourself, give so much of yourself and make sure they are safe, you have to want to give them the best life full of amazing opportunities

To even attempt all that, you gotta be 100% sure when you're TTC, it's not something to be on the fence about.

Runkle · 14/02/2021 19:40

To pp who said those saying relax/use natural approach are in a position of privilege...pfft you have no fucking idea. I wish. It can be a long ride unfortunately so the more OP can start off relaxed the better.

The advice was based on OP literally only having tried for 2 cycles with no indication of issues. I'd recommend tracking etc if it was longer than 6-12 months.

Olefu99 · 14/02/2021 19:41

Took my sister way longer than that.

Jolie12345 · 14/02/2021 19:44

Two months. Get a grip. Just stop trying so hard. Doctors wouldn’t entertain ivf even if you were up for it because you’ve barley given it a chance to happen naturally. I agree with others, it doesn’t sound like the time is right for you to have a baby

BobbidyBob · 14/02/2021 19:45

However pregnancy and parenthood is stressful so it might not be for you if you can’t hack trying to conceive for 2 months. Wait and try again in a year?

Exactly this.

Multicover · 14/02/2021 19:47

Two months.
Either this is a serious wind up or you need to do a little bit of work on growing up.
It’s not like buying a new pair of trainers.

R2221 · 14/02/2021 19:49

I was just like you!! I tracked for 2 months and then I was super disappointed it didn’t happen. I was even getting stressed it wasn’t happening. We decided to take a break from TTC tracking etc and I conceived our twins the next month!

jellybaby10 · 14/02/2021 19:52

I've been trying to conceive one final baby for 3 and a half years with no success. It is hard but two months is not long at all.

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