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Original poster

Mad about this lie

273 replies

tigertubbie · 14/02/2021 08:16

5 years ago my dh had his stag do in Amsterdam - went with about 15 mates including my younger brother. Dh was approaching his 40s, db was in his early 20s at the time.

A few weeks after, me, dh, dhs friend (went on the stag do and dhs friend's partner were having dinner together and we were asking how the stag do went, what they did etc. and the conversation of prostitution came up and whether anyone on the stag do had visited a prostitute. The guys looked sheepish so me and friend pushed them on it and dh then told me that it was my db who had visited a prostitute.

I've been pretty grossed out about this and thought less of my db ever since. He had a gf at the time and it made me subconsciously write off their relationship and think my db was a selfish person. I was just disappointed really.

Last night we were having a takeaway and drinks with my other db and his wife and were all pretty tipsy. Somehow the topic of Amsterdam came up and I turned to db and said did you know that db2 went to a prostitute on dhs stag do? Db was like, wtf, I can't believe he would do something like that, and then dh jumped in with "oh I made that up"

Apparently it had been another married friend of theirs and he didn't want to tell me, so instead he told me it was my brother. And all these years I have thought that without him bothering to tell me the truth- even though the married friend has since split with his wife.

I had cross words with him after db and sil left and went off angry to bed. Dh says this is a total over reaction and can't see why I'm so angry. Is he unreasonable or am I?

OP posts:
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7
Soontobe60 · 14/02/2021 09:43

I think you should keep your nose out. If your brother or some other man paid someone for sex whilst on a stag do, its not your concern. Presumably your db is an adult, and can make his own decisions? How does it actually affect you?

MiddleParking · 14/02/2021 09:43

@BadMotherLover

OP is breaking Covid lockdown and lying about it. Not every tourist in Amsterdam is having sex with a prostitute.
Or maybe she’s got a bubble like she said Hmm honestly, these types.
Multicover · 14/02/2021 09:44

‘In many cases it is cheaper to have a weekend there than in a city here as the hotels, food as drink are merely cheaper’

GrinGrin Of course that’s why blokes go to Amsterdam rather than Sheffield Grin

Lucyccfc68 · 14/02/2021 09:44

You do realise that there is more to Amsterdam and Prague than sex!

My ex-H went to Amsterdam for his stag - he went to get pissed and go to a football match. I have been to Amsterdam 10 times and Prague twice and even took my DS for a week when he was 4 years old.

FuriousWithTheNHS · 14/02/2021 09:45

Of all the places in all the world for a perfectly innocent stag do, who'd have thought your DH and his mates would have picked Amsterdam?

It must have been for the museums. And the canals. And the waffles.

Multicover · 14/02/2021 09:45

@Soontobe60

I think you should keep your nose out. If your brother or some other man paid someone for sex whilst on a stag do, its not your concern. Presumably your db is an adult, and can make his own decisions? How does it actually affect you?
You’re such a COOL wife Grin
Multicover · 14/02/2021 09:46

‘It must have been for the museums. And the canals. And the waffle’

Love the waffles. Absolutely was the waffles.

Ughmaybenot · 14/02/2021 09:46

I think it’s really really shitty that you repeated second hand gossip about one brother to another and his wife.
Absolutely agree with this. Really shitty thing to do OP. You don’t even know if it’s definitely true and you say yourself it’s made you think differently of your younger brother, why would you want your other brother to think poorly of him too on gossip and hearsay?
Your husband is a proven liar, one way or another. I don’t know what happened in truth, but you do know that fact for sure. What you do with that information is up to you.

SteveBrexit · 14/02/2021 09:46

The "prostitution bubble" is a new one I have to say 😂

JustLyra · 14/02/2021 09:47

@Ocsetldil

I thought you could only bubble with one other adult if they or you lived alone as the only adult in the house.
There are, as is explained multiple times a day on here, exceptions to that (childcare bubbles, vulnerable people, etc).
Original poster
tigertubbie · 14/02/2021 09:47

My db and sil moved here from another country in December. They moved in with me and dh and quarantined in our home for two weeks and continued to live here after that. They are officially registered as living here - bank accounts, sil's visa, mobile phone bills. We let them live here until they could get set up and db could find a job. They recently found their own place and are in the process of moving in. Technically they still live here, but moved a lot of their stuff yesterday into the new place. Came to get some boxes, had a takeaway, a few drinks, went back to their new place with what they could carry, will be coming back today to get more stuff. Until they transfer all of their documents and move all of their belongings they are part of this household as they have been since December. If that breaks Covid rules then so be it - I'm sure you are still allowed to move home during Covid though, and eat with your current household in the process.

I'm talking to my brother now. Yes now knowing it wasn't true, it was shitty to gossip about him. But until I knew that, in my mind he was brazen enough to pay for sex in front of the entire stag party, then he could expect people to gossip...

OP posts:
Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 14/02/2021 09:47

I spent last February half term in Amsterdam with DH and dd....would give my right arm to be on my way there now.
Totally missing point of thread, soz!

SteveBrexit · 14/02/2021 09:48

@FuriousWithTheNHS

Of all the places in all the world for a perfectly innocent stag do, who'd have thought your DH and his mates would have picked Amsterdam?

It must have been for the museums. And the canals. And the waffles.

Oh please tell us more about the "perfectly innocent" stag dos!
I don't know if people are just really naive, bitter or trying to stir things up by making stuff up
Rayn · 14/02/2021 09:48

My ex husband and brother went to Amsterdam. Found out years later they both visited a prostitute whilst there. Covered for each other. For me if it's a stag then you only choose Amsterdam for one reason.
However your husband may be more of a gentleman than them but something is been covered up. You don't make that shit up for no reason!

Maves · 14/02/2021 09:50

What's strange is why not just say no one went when asked originally if he lied anyway? The reason he could have now said it was a friend was to save your brother as you brought it up again 5 years later to his other brother which you had no right doing.
There was 15 people there so why blame your brother in the first place of all people?
And also if it was your dh that went with the prostitute I'd imagine your brother would have had your back and told you at the time.

Soontobe60 · 14/02/2021 09:51

@AnneLovesGilbert

OP might have a baby that’s under 1.
In which case you can have someone come in for childcare - having a take away and getting pissed is pretty shitty childcare though 🤣
DoctorHildegardLanstrom · 14/02/2021 09:52

I'm talking to my brother now. Yes now knowing it wasn't true, it was shitty to gossip about him. But until I knew that, in my mind he was brazen enough to pay for sex in front of the entire stag party, then he could expect people to gossip

But the point is he didn't do it, you have been spreading gossip about him and I wonder how many other people you have told this to. I can't believe in 5 years you haven't told anyone, just holding onto it till this point

JustLyra · 14/02/2021 09:54

In which case you can have someone come in for childcare - having a take away and getting pissed is pretty shitty childcare though 🤣

@Soontobe60 Incorrect. If you have a baby under 1 then you can have a support bubble, which basically means you can treat two households as one. It's not a childcare bubble because it's for support for the parent(s) not childcare.

PegasusReturns · 14/02/2021 09:54

I’d be chatting to your DB this morning. If he knows he took the flak for 5 years I suspect he’ll be quick to tell you the truth but be prepared to hear that it was your DH.

Berthatydfil · 14/02/2021 09:54

The best lies are close to the truth - so it’s likely that it was someone you know and are close to and someone who was in a relationship/ married.

Soontobe60 · 14/02/2021 09:54

@Multicover
Hahaha! If I though my dh used sex workers I’d chop his dick off... what my brother does in his own time though... that’s non of my business.

CeibaTree · 14/02/2021 09:54

Sorry OP I agree with pps - it was likely your DH who did that, and deflected by saying it was your DB. He probably knew you'd be so incensed about your brother that you wouldn't push for any further details so he was off the hook..

SteveBrexit · 14/02/2021 09:56

I'd love to know the reaction if a poster started a thread "I am planning my hen in Amsterdam/ Paris/ Ibiza/ Ayia Napa/ Magaluf"

but soon-to-be-DH says the wedding if off if I go because there are MEN there (and don't get started on the strippers) so I should stick to safe place like Slough or Hull.

😂 😂

because if you wanted to cheat, you'd HAVE to go to Amsterdam... local places are safe.

MN gold.

cheeseybean · 14/02/2021 09:56

The way I see it, there could be multiple possible answers I will discover this morning
It was my dh, in which case it's going to be the worst morning of his life

OP, how on earth do you think you're going to "discover" the truth, five years down the line? And give Dh the worst morning of his life? Do you think he's going to just confess to seeing a prostitute? Highly doubt that.

SteveBrexit · 14/02/2021 09:58

having a take away and getting pissed is pretty shitty childcare though 🤣

makes a good bubble though!

It would be funnier if schools were opened and kids not forgotten while adults are "bubbling up" every where.

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