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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

MNHQ delete every remotely interesting thread!

327 replies

wewillmeetagain · 13/02/2021 11:17

Why do they do this? Ive seen two in the last 24 hours! Nothing remotely insulting, libellous or argumentative on them! It's like the only discussion with which they agree is allowed to take place! I personally think it spoils MN, they will probably remove this discussion pretty sharpish anyway!

OP posts:
Lockheart · 07/03/2021 19:50

@LucieStar

MN deletes a lot of threads because they're posted with less than good intentions, not just because they're offensive.

Genuine question: how does MN accurately work out the person's intentions?

I presume they'll look at the history of the IP or email addresses linked to the poster, the posting history, the posting style, monitor suspicious PM'ing activity etc. It's not that hard.
Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 07/03/2021 21:22

@DrSbaitso

Someone people seem to want to be permanently offended.

You just started an entire thread to tell us repeatedly about how offended you are.

Im not offended in the slightest, I just this its silly and treating adults like children who can't be trusted with certain information! Where have I said im offended?
OP posts:
Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 07/03/2021 21:23

@OhWhyNot

But if it is sexism why should that not be called out ?

I know what is sexism experienced it enough like I have said before and I know that can lead to what is considered rude but I know it’s from a place of sexist ideas. Why should that be accepted or be called out as rude as that’s more comfortable for people to deal with

So you know what other people are thinking when they make a comment or talk over someone else ?
OP posts:
Blockedoff · 07/03/2021 22:07

What happened to the one about "we are going to try this conceive in august and SIL has told our secret" it's just disappeared? Didn't see a deletion message,

OhWhyNot · 07/03/2021 23:22

I know that sexism is playing out yes

Why wouldn’t I? I’m not stupid. Does someone have to be so obvious and say little lady go and make the tea before I am aware

Direct, underhand or through privilege people are no longer shutting up when what has been said has caused offence. It’s up to me not anyone else what I am offended by. If I have offended someone by say an assumption I would apologise and take that on board not decide for them that they are in the wrong to be offended

There are plenty of sites that allow for people’s prejudice hidden behind the banner of we defend free speech

RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 10:54

@OhWhyNot

They most definitely do. Unless it's obvious, overt racism, sexism etc who gets to decide what offends one person but may not offend another?

So unless particular words are used offensive comments should be ignored as not everyone shall see how offence some are being

Right. So basically those who have had experience and know exactly what is being said in an underhand way or those that recognise it should shut up

Do you understand what fascism is ?

This
RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 10:55

Cannot believe the thread about DD and the boyfriends attempted suicide has been taken down.

Who the fuck makes up things like that?

anamazingfind · 08/03/2021 11:12

It is annoying to click on a thread to find it deleted. Can't understand why they don't take everything related to it

turquoisewaters · 08/03/2021 11:28

If I have offended someone by say an assumption I would apologise and take that on board not decide for them that they are in the wrong to be offended

I'm not talking about MN specifically, but more in general.

The problem seems to be that only one side is allowed to say they are 'offended' and 'free speech' is a right that only seems to be recognised to one side of the argument (usually the left, liberal and woke).

Some posters hunt in packs until opposite views are shut down or the thread is deleted. A hardly fair and balanced approach. That's why people are increasingly upset.

Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 08/03/2021 14:52

@turquoisewaters

If I have offended someone by say an assumption I would apologise and take that on board not decide for them that they are in the wrong to be offended

I'm not talking about MN specifically, but more in general.

The problem seems to be that only one side is allowed to say they are 'offended' and 'free speech' is a right that only seems to be recognised to one side of the argument (usually the left, liberal and woke).

Some posters hunt in packs until opposite views are shut down or the thread is deleted. A hardly fair and balanced approach. That's why people are increasingly upset.

Exactly this
OP posts:
Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 08/03/2021 14:56

@OhWhyNot

I know that sexism is playing out yes

Why wouldn’t I? I’m not stupid. Does someone have to be so obvious and say little lady go and make the tea before I am aware

Direct, underhand or through privilege people are no longer shutting up when what has been said has caused offence. It’s up to me not anyone else what I am offended by. If I have offended someone by say an assumption I would apologise and take that on board not decide for them that they are in the wrong to be offended

There are plenty of sites that allow for people’s prejudice hidden behind the banner of we defend free speech

There is a saying, something like " offence is taken not given". Some people will literally choose to be offended by absolutely anything, as it it is their right to be. However if I don't think it's offensive im most certainly not apologising for it!
OP posts:
RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 16:57

@wewillmeetagain you have a very strange idea of how apologies work

Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 08/03/2021 16:59

[quote RootyT00t]@wewillmeetagain you have a very strange idea of how apologies work[/quote]
Why is that? What is the point of me apologising for something I don't find offensive? Surely an apology should be sincere?

OP posts:
OhWhyNot · 08/03/2021 17:09

So you decided on what someone is offended about ? Ok

I once used the term oriental not really knowing it’s offensive (to some). Well to some it (particularly in the states) I apologised and learnt and apology was accepted they understood I wasn’t deliberately trying to be offensive.

I know how often people get offended by othering, using terms like exotic (for mixed race constantly used when I was a child it’s tiresome) touching afro hair as it’s different some may not view this as offensive and some may not feel it is but it’s not up to the person who feels they are giving a compliment that it isn’t

I’m not sure why you think you can decide what others are offended about

turquoisewaters · 08/03/2021 17:15

I’m not sure why you think you can decide what others are offended about

The problem is that some make 'being offended' a way of life. The term is being abused in order to justify a certain (very violent and offensive itself) narrative and activism.

turquoisewaters · 08/03/2021 17:26

On another thread I said that I found the word 'privilege' offensive (in particular its overuse and how it's been lately loaded with all sorts of attributes and used as an insult)

I was told that I was being oversensitive, called a 'delicate flower' and that I should shut up basically.

Why should I have to put up with these double standards?

You wouldn't dream of saying this to the usual groups who claim to be 'offended' on SM, you would get crucified

Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 08/03/2021 17:37

@OhWhyNot

So you decided on what someone is offended about ? Ok

I once used the term oriental not really knowing it’s offensive (to some). Well to some it (particularly in the states) I apologised and learnt and apology was accepted they understood I wasn’t deliberately trying to be offensive.

I know how often people get offended by othering, using terms like exotic (for mixed race constantly used when I was a child it’s tiresome) touching afro hair as it’s different some may not view this as offensive and some may not feel it is but it’s not up to the person who feels they are giving a compliment that it isn’t

I’m not sure why you think you can decide what others are offended about

But you are saying that if someone is offended by something I said which was not meant in an offensive way or meant to cause hurt that I should just apologise? What exactly is the point in an empty apology, that is only being made because i " have " to make it?
OP posts:
OhWhyNot · 08/03/2021 18:10

Sorry I meant no offence

Why wouldn’t you want to apologise if you didn’t meant to cause offence but it has

It’s not difficult if you don’t want it to be

RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 19:21

@turquoisewaters

On another thread I said that I found the word 'privilege' offensive (in particular its overuse and how it's been lately loaded with all sorts of attributes and used as an insult)

I was told that I was being oversensitive, called a 'delicate flower' and that I should shut up basically.

Why should I have to put up with these double standards?

You wouldn't dream of saying this to the usual groups who claim to be 'offended' on SM, you would get crucified

I got absolutely lynched for being offended by the world privilege.
RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 19:22

@wewillmeetagain because you should be bloody sorry you've offended them, even if you didn't mean to?

Would you apologise if you accidentally hit someone or stood on someone ? Or would you say I'm not apologising because I didn't mean to?

Original poster
wewillmeetagain · 08/03/2021 20:00

[quote RootyT00t]@wewillmeetagain because you should be bloody sorry you've offended them, even if you didn't mean to?

Would you apologise if you accidentally hit someone or stood on someone ? Or would you say I'm not apologising because I didn't mean to?[/quote]
So because a person chose to take offence at something i said, I should be sorry? Erm no I don't think so!

OP posts:
OhWhyNot · 08/03/2021 20:14

So we are only be offended if we choose to be. I guess there is no such think as hate language either

It wasn’t that long ago on MN I can remember reading that p*ki was just a shortening of Pakistani. Those silly people did get offended though what a fuss they made over being called a shortening of the country they were from

RootyT00t · 08/03/2021 20:37

Yes. Pretty much.

MyNameIsFiveSpice · 08/03/2021 20:45

@Sparklingbrook

Anyone remember ‘TSSDNCOP’ the answer to queries about how MNHQ know someone is a troll? Grin
Yes!!! The Secret Service Does Not Comment On Procedure 🤐
turquoisewaters · 08/03/2021 22:50

I got absolutely lynched for being offended by the world privilege

Glad I'm not the only one Grin