Window open at night and it’s freezing

[crumble82]

My DP doesn’t like to be hot at night, fair enough. But it’s -8°c outside and he has the window open, our bedroom is like an igloo. We still have the thin duvet on our bed so he doesn’t get hot, I have a blanket and a hot water bottle but I just don’t sleep well in a freezing bedroom.
So AIBU - it’s healthier to have the window open at night
Or AINBU - it’s winter!

What baffles me about all of these posts saying it's fine with warm blankets - don't your nose and ears get cold like when outside?

And then in the morning when you have to get out of bed.... 🥶 Getting up is awful at the best of times but from a warm bed into a freezing room? It must be hideous!

I’m still too hot at night. I have the window open all night and wear shorts and T-shirt to bed. It’s easier to heat up than it is to cool down so my husband has a hoody and spare blanket.

@FortunesFave

How can her partner compromise? If he likes a cold room and the window open, what do you suggest - ice in the bed?

Hee hee.

Fan, air conditioning unit, or just leave radiators upstairs off for a while before bed. Rather than blast her with -8 from outside.

I find it really interesting that people are responding mainly based on what they prefer, rather than seeing both sides.

I'm a radiator person and yes there are things he can do. A duvet FFS and he doesn't wake if she shuts the window...

I slept at university in a very cold room and little heating (students) - they were in warmer parts of the house.

Even as a radiator I would need to pile all my clothes on the bed and I was still shivering!

I speak as someone who couldn't bear to be too hot. I get it.

But I'm not seeing a compromise and this duvet+ if she shuts the window he doesn't wake makes me think well. He's not trying and in fact it doesn't seem to bother him.

@NiceGerbil

I find it really interesting that people are responding mainly based on what they prefer, rather than seeing both sides.

I'm a radiator person and yes there are things he can do. A duvet FFS and he doesn't wake if she shuts the window...

I slept at university in a very cold room and little heating (students) - they were in warmer parts of the house.

Even as a radiator I would need to pile all my clothes on the bed and I was still shivering!

I speak as someone who couldn't bear to be too hot. I get it.

But I'm not seeing a compromise and this duvet+ if she shuts the window he doesn't wake makes me think well. He's not trying and in fact it doesn't seem to bother him.

Agreed. Anybody would struggle to sleep if really hot or too cold. But nowhere is going to be hot inside at this time of year and with this weather unless someone is sleeping right next to a fire. Trying to sleep when you are cold is impossible. I know this as I used to live somewhere that had no heating at all.

What jars for me is that he has a duvet (not a sheet, or nothing to cover him) and sleeps fine if OP closes the window.

I mean he's not even trying and he's also not actually that bothered or he'd wake.

Get extra blankets to put on just your side! I'm a v cold person but love having the window open a crack for fresh air. We share a duvet but then I have two extra blankets on my side plus two hot water bottles and socks etc. The weight of the blankets means that he doesn't steal the covers like he would if it was summer/just a duvet!

Also you can get a single electric blanket to put on just your side.

This all just makes me sooooo glad I don't have to share with anyone these days!

I would def invest in a warmer quilt for you, I have a 15 tog and can still wake up cold now and again as the window doesn’t close properly and I can feel the draught on my face if turned towards the window, I prefer sleeping in a cool room as I can’t sleep if the room is stuffy But no way would I have the window properly open in this weather!
But then I don’t have to contend with Dh....he has his own room as we’re not compatible when it comes to sleeping!!

@crumble82

I like the idea of same duvet but different togs on each side, might have to look into that. I wouldn’t mind so much if I was allowed a thick duvet but he also like to roll himself up in ours so I have no covers in our freezing room.

You know you don’t need his permission to get a thick duvet? What’s with the not being ‘allowed’ You are a grown ass women, get a thick duvet for yourself, let him roll up in his, you roll up in yours.

Why do women make such martyrs of themselves.

Single electric underblanket on your side.

But really he's being a bit of a prick. He may like the window open, but if you're suffering he needs to compromise. He is not living alone.

I like the window open most of the year but it's been closed for the last month. Radiator is down to number 1 and my room is cool but the rest of the house is warm which is lovely when I leave my room to get ready for work at 5am.

I think a compromise is needed. Window open a little for husband, but lovely warm duvet and the rest of the house warm.

I used to leave my window open slightly at night. One night I woke up to someone half climbing through it (they CLEARLY saw me there). My scream frightened them off thank god - who knows what could have happened.
Tell him that - see if he changes his mind

@MagentaDoesNotExist it's a carefully constructed face-only-exposed cocoon type business... wrap yourself up like a sausage roll, tuck the blanket around the back of your neck, over your ears and up to your chin... granted the nose gets a little chilly but it's how I like it

(You're right about it being freezing in the morning though. That is a definite downside!)

Go and get the quilt off the spare bed

It’s -9 outside here. I have the electric blanket already on, and the heating has been boosted until we go to bed. Usually I sleep in a t-shirt but this week it’s been joggers and a thermal top. Window firmly closed.

MagentaDoesNotExist

it doesn't ever get that cold in our house, no cold noses, ears, misty breath or frost on the inside of the window. I don't like any of that and have been in places like before.

as I said before, when its really cold the window is only open a crack, enough to ventilate the room. I just need fresh air or I wake up bunged up and sore throat and or a splitting headache, DH is the same luckily.

The heating comes on an hour before we are due to get up, so nice and warm to get to.

As others have suggested get a duvet of your own. Maybe put a blanket on as well.
I have to admit I love our window open , no matter how cold. The heating is off and I put the fan on too. Also have a thin summer duvet on too. Love a freezing bedroom!

If he rolls himself in the duvet because he's cold he's solving the problem. Do the same for yourself with a thicker quilt. Fold it sleeping bag style and get in!

Yeah I'm with your partner on this I hate being cold and love being cosy but I have both windows open and sleep under the window

Get an electric blanket just for your side.

Wtf are you letting him dictate the bedroom arrangements. You both need to sleep in there and be comfortable. There is no way my partner would get away with insisting on an open window, dictating the tog of the duvet and then taking the duvet at night to roll up in!?! Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat? Does he not care when you tell him you are freezing? And if not why not?

How strange that so many people have windows open all night in winter. Apart from the cold, do you all live in the middle of nowhere? It would be far too noisy around here.

We are all open window sleepers in this house, infavt rarely have heating on in any of the bedrooms through each occupants choice. I do live the test of the house toasty, cold rooms are just a sleeping preference. An electric blanket on your side of the bed might be the way to go.