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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Window open at night and it’s freezing

266 replies

crumble82 · 11/02/2021 22:32

My DP doesn’t like to be hot at night, fair enough. But it’s -8°c outside and he has the window open, our bedroom is like an igloo. We still have the thin duvet on our bed so he doesn’t get hot, I have a blanket and a hot water bottle but I just don’t sleep well in a freezing bedroom.
So AIBU - it’s healthier to have the window open at night
Or AINBU - it’s winter!

OP posts:
Takemetothebar · 11/02/2021 22:55

I use a cellular blanket under the duvet. My husband gets very hot at night, so we don’t layer on the duvets etc.
A cellular blanket, like you use for babies, is perfect! Traps the air, lightweight, soft and not bulky but so warm.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/02/2021 22:56

You should have internal doors shut @MyLittleOrangutan for fire purposes.

HugeBowlofChips · 11/02/2021 22:56

It is minus several degrees. I have bedroom and bathroom windows open fully so I am in a cross-Arctic air flow. But the electric blanket is on full, I have a sheep skin on top of the quilts and feather duvet, and I am wearing two pairs of socks, fleecy PJs and a wool vest.

Hate, hate a stuffy room. Husband is in the spare room with window shut.

Chloemol · 11/02/2021 22:56

I have the window open, no heating but a proper thick duvet. If I sleep in at room with windows shut I wake up with a headache.

Can you get an extra duvet from a spare bed?

Palavah · 11/02/2021 22:57

If you're getting separate duvets get yourself a double rather than a single.

The duvet with a thick side and a thin side aren't different enough, in my experience.

Overdoor · 11/02/2021 22:57

@Norwayreally

This is so odd! Honestly never knew so many people slept with windows open when it’s -5 outside.
Where I used to live it was regularly -17, and I still needed the window open at night.
1wokeuplikethis · 11/02/2021 22:58

Hmmm I am so particular about this. Sorry op but I’m with your husband. Maybe it comes from growing up in a cold house. But I just can’t sleep if the window isn’t open. In this weather it just needs to be cracked slightly, but I love the room to be edging on chilly and snuggle down in the warm cosy bedding. Part of it is two adults in a small room breathing the same air, sweating at night and laying close to each other. I need the air circulation!

I also have to sleep with my feet out of the covers 😱
And the radiator NEVER comes on in the bedroom. It may as well be decorative because I can not stand a stuffy bedroom. At the in-laws it’s so hot, radiator belting and sun streaming in through the thin curtains bleurgh. Always wake up with a headache and a bad temper.

HugeBowlofChips · 11/02/2021 22:58

Also, radiator off. Always.

Longdistance · 11/02/2021 22:59

Stick him in a tent in the garden, close the window, get a few more blankets.

RaininSummer · 11/02/2021 22:59

I couldnt bear that. I wake up full of aches and pains if the room is cold. I don't shared a room with him thankfully as I need a water bottle and a thick duvet with a blanket at present.

WingClipped · 11/02/2021 22:59

My bedroom has a broken seal on part of the window and it's woken me up recently because of the cold air coming in. I have a winter duvet and thick pajamas and I'm still cold because the air in the room is icy. Would I fuck do it on purpose.

Not sure what answers you expected on here though. Where everyone has the heating on for 5 minutes a day after dinner and never higher than 18degrees. Put 17 jumpers on and buy better socks you wuss!

I also think it's a shame all the cries for compromise are at OP's expense not her partners. Make him sleep naked with no covers maybe? Or get a sofa bed for the office.

WishIWasAsGoodAsBlueysMum · 11/02/2021 23:00

I’d love the window open but I also recognise that I run unreasonably warm and don’t want to freeze the baby or DH 😂

Actually to be fair, it’s so cold tonight that even I am fully under the duvet and wearing PJs! Unheard of!

Yubaba · 11/02/2021 23:00

My husband is the same, the window is open and he has a fan blowing on him too Shock
It fucking freezing, we have a double duvet we share and on my side I have a thicker single duvet and sometimes either a single electric blanket or fleece blanket depending on how cold I am.
I’m just used to it now, it’s been 20 years!
It’s almost worse when it’s hot because then we have 3 fans and he’s still moaning.

NiceGerbil · 11/02/2021 23:01

I've always run hot.

I would not insist on having a window open when it's minus 8.

I get round it by sleeping with just a sheet over my middle (can't sleep without a bit of covering!

Being hot is shit but so is being cold. I don't think he gets to have his comfort over yours OP.

Original poster
crumble82 · 11/02/2021 23:02

He grew up in a cold house, whenever we visit the PiL my DDs end up sitting to eat with their coats on. Clearly he’s made of hardier stock

OP posts:
nzborn · 11/02/2021 23:03

Could you sleep in different rooms

NiceGerbil · 11/02/2021 23:03

Why has he got a duvet over at all if he's too hot?

That's asking for trouble!

If my DH insisted on having the heating on all night, as a radiator person, I'd sleep somewhere else.

I don't understand why so many posters are saying he should be comfy and she should suck it up. I think he's being selfish.

Original poster
crumble82 · 11/02/2021 23:04

To be fair to him he does sleep naked so it’s not like he could take any more layers off.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 11/02/2021 23:05

Get an electric blanket. Mine only heats up the two sides seperatly. Also an oodie/blanket-hoodie

Popsy321 · 11/02/2021 23:05

@PicsInRed

Why is the answer here for the woman to be so cold - literally more than freezing - that she can't sleep, rather than the man simply sleep without a duvet on?
Literally no one has suggested that she remain freezing cold and just suck it up.
wishes1111 · 11/02/2021 23:07

I have my window open all year round, just maybe a couple cm open in the winter.

Heating goes off from bed to 6:30 (I get up at 7 to get ready for working from home)

My husband likes it cold too, I could sleep in a room with the heating on, he can't. We do have a winter duvet, thick and full with duck feathers so it's warm and I take a hot water bottle to bed for when it's chilly (put it in the bed 10 mins before getting in). He pushes most of the covers off his legs and feet anyway so I take that extra.

I think the best compromise is to get different duvets.

NiceGerbil · 11/02/2021 23:07

What does he cover himself with? Not a duvet surely?

My friend and I had an interesting conversation the other day. She enjoys it being cooler and then putting lots of layers on. It makes her feel snuggly.

If he's got a duvet over him then he's really not meeting you in the middle. And probably won't be any time soon if you're really cold Grin

Popsy321 · 11/02/2021 23:08

@MyLittleOrangutan

We never sleep with a window open, what about mosquitos? DH likes the heating lower than me though, so I steal the duvet, the rule is: if he's too warm to have the heating on then he doesn't need much duvet. We have all the internal doors open though so it doesn't get stuffy
Mosquitos? In Cheshire? In -4?
campion · 11/02/2021 23:09

@safariboot

YANBU.

Your partner doesn't get to unilaterally decide how you sleep!

Precisely.

Get him a tent in the garden if he's so fond of fresh air

RachelRosie · 11/02/2021 23:10

I have met (36%) of my people!

I have the window open all year round, even just a crack! I need the fresh air get headachy if not, I wear cosy PJ's though.

DH would prefer window closed but accepts it ... grudgingly. I don't have much sympathy for him though as he wear ummm.... very little to bed! I've offered to buy him some PJ's haha

Definitely think it is healthier to sleep with window open, good enough for the Scandinavian tots its good enough for me!!