Window open at night and it’s freezing

[crumble82]

My DP doesn’t like to be hot at night, fair enough. But it’s -8°c outside and he has the window open, our bedroom is like an igloo. We still have the thin duvet on our bed so he doesn’t get hot, I have a blanket and a hot water bottle but I just don’t sleep well in a freezing bedroom.
So AIBU - it’s healthier to have the window open at night
Or AINBU - it’s winter!

Will burn you a shit loads of calories keeping you warm though

I live near the town centre but in a cul de sac. It's pretty quiet here. The noisiest thing is the sparrows in spring, and the bin lorry on bin day, but that's about the same time as my alarm, anyway.

I have been late to work when I was lying in bed listening to birdsong rather than getting up...

I hate being cold, I’d shut the window when it’s 10 degrees or lower and certainly when it’s sub zero. Do you have another room he (or you) can move to?

Can you get an electric blanket or thick duvet for your side of the bed?

Failing that, if he won’t compromise, LTB. Hypothermia isn’t worth it for anyone.

Sorry you got saddled with my ex. If he hates being warm, fold the duvet in two and have a double layer to yourself.

Why is the answer here for the woman to be so cold - literally more than freezing - that she can't sleep, rather than the man simply sleep without a duvet on?

Literally no one has suggested that she remain freezing cold and just suck it up.

I'm on Team OP here (even though you'd think I'd be firmly in favour of sausage-rolling). Not because I personally have terrible circulation and cannot be too hot, but because you have two equal adults, each struggle to sleep properly with the other's needs/preferences, and the answers are all assuming that OP's DH should automatically get his way and OP then has to find any number of ways to try to make it tolerable for her.

Nobody is suggesting that she not be allowed to try to mitigate the freezing weather for her own comforts, but why is it up to her to adapt in the first place? And as for insisting on having the window open and yet still wanting to use a duvet - that's just absurd - like taking an umbrella into the shower to stop yourself from getting wet.

I had the same (reversed) issue with my ex. I need to have AC blasting at night to sleep well and he needed heat and lots if it so had a single electric blanket on his side. Maybe that’s an option for you?

Ha! DH said last night, I bet there's no-one in London that has a window open when it's -7!! Glad to, probably, have proved him wrong. I have the window open all year round. I sleep better with a breeze on my face, and also most times have a fan on too. I say to my father, it's because Mum always put me outside in the pram when I was a baby :-)

Seriously though, with the window closed I find I get very blocked up and if that happens then nosebleeds follow. And when going through the menopause absolutely had to have the cold air. Needless to say, no radiator on in the bedroom either.

Woke up last night to find DH wearing his bobble hat in bed. Yep, kills any thought of hankypanky but then post menopause, it's the last thing I want these days :-)

OP, I'd be seriously contemplating setting fire to the bastard.

@crumble82

I like the idea of same duvet but different togs on each side, might have to look into that. I wouldn’t mind so much if I was allowed a thick duvet but he also like to roll himself up in ours so I have no covers in our freezing room.

Then he's being selfish and if you have a spare room one of you should be in there.

I'm the coldest person I know - my doctor says it's because i'm underweight, but I sleep with the window open every night. Feel like I'm suffocating if I don't. I turn my radiator dial down too in the bedroom, even during winter. Bedtime is the only time I'm ever warm.

*I voted yabu because you can get extra blankets....

How many blankets/duvets should someone have to have just because their partner wants the window open. Why should their partner have everything their way and OP has to have numerous layers and still be cold?

I feel for you OP, it's impossible to sleep when you're cold. Maybe have separate bedrooms?
I just can't get my head around having the window open in the winter! What about when it's raining or snowing outside? I only have the window open when I sleep if it's hotter than 30 degrees outside.

Have you considered a dual-control electric blanket? He can leave his side off, and you can sleep comfortably! I have one. I keep my side on four, and the cat has her side on seven (STOP LAUGHING! Oh, all right, laugh, then.).

@Staffy1

How strange that so many people have windows open all night in winter. Apart from the cold, do you all live in the middle of nowhere? It would be far too noisy around here.

I live in London. On a very quiet street so no noise. Have always had window open. When I was little I used to sleep with my duvet pulled over my face. My mum would get up in the middle of the night to pull it down, worried I'd suffocate, lol. Not sure what changed. I'm lying in bed now, without pj's, window ajar and a fairly light duvet. My feet are cold but that's about it. The only time I sleep with the window closed, or wearing pj's is when I'm ill 🤒

I wouldn’t mind so much if I was allowed a thick duvet but he also like to roll himself up in ours so I have no covers in our freezing room.

So he makes the room freezing and then takes the duvet? What a selfish little prick. He’d be sleeping in the garage or shed if he lived with me. 🤬

No no no and no. It’s bloody freezing shut the window and get a thicker cover. If hubby likes to be cold he can sleep outside.

Why is he using a duvet if he gets so hot he has to open the window when it's -8C out? How bizarre. I live in a hot country and nobody sleeps under a duvet here. I'm not even sure they exist. He should sleep under a single sheet or nothing at all if he's hot.

@Ninkanink

You don’t need to buy new bedding, just buy a double duvet and use one of your existing duvet covers.

This. Buy another double duvet, so you have one each. Then when you ‘make the bed’ just later then on top of one another. So you don’t need to buy extra bedding. Plus, he can continue to wrap himself up in whatever tog duvet he currently likes. And if you want to buy a big fat down filled behemoth, happy days!!

• layer

On brandalley you can buy maters protectors with heating zones do you could have it heated under you and it him. Search brandalley and silent night.

[quote SecretThermalsAreTheBest]@MagentaDoesNotExist it's a carefully constructed face-only-exposed cocoon type business... wrap yourself up like a sausage roll, tuck the blanket around the back of your neck, over your ears and up to your chin... granted the nose gets a little chilly but it's how I like it

(You're right about it being freezing in the morning though. That is a definite downside!)[/quote]
Doesn't sound overly appealing!! I like to sleep with one leg on top of the duvet and blankets and for my nose not to get frostbite. Plus I'd not dare get out of bed until lunchtime in the situation you describe. 😂

@NewYearNewTwatName

MagentaDoesNotExist

it doesn't ever get that cold in our house, no cold noses, ears, misty breath or frost on the inside of the window. I don't like any of that and have been in places like before.

as I said before, when its really cold the window is only open a crack, enough to ventilate the room. I just need fresh air or I wake up bunged up and sore throat and or a splitting headache, DH is the same luckily.

The heating comes on an hour before we are due to get up, so nice and warm to get to.

Hahahaa ok. Glad you're both on the same page and happy with it but window open all night and heating on for one hour before you wake, that certainly wouldn't be "warm" enough for me to get out of bed! 🥶

My partner and I have a duvet each (king sized if you’re interested) and it’s a game changer. I understand not wanting to be too hot at night but it’s minus temperatures so he really doesn’t need the window open at night right now imo.

I'd sleep in another room, isn't being in a relationship about compromise?

I take it you don't bother having the heating on. It would be a huge waste of money and energy, you're heating the outside