For refusing to talk to the school

[pinkpixie83]

I am no longer talking to my boys primary school. I am a single parent, working from home, three children, 2 of primary age and 1 high school age. I have been honest with the school all along that home schooling is nigh on impossible, and now they are just repeatedly ringing me. The have admitted they can't offer me any help, so I don't see any point in repeated phone calls, it achieves nothing.

They will be checking up to make sure the children are ok, schools have to do this.
If you repeatedly fail to answer then expect a visit from their safeguarding team to check in the children's well being

You’re creating more work for them when they’re already under a lot of pressure! Answer the call or drop them an email so they can take you off their to-do list!

I don't blame you.

How repeatedly? I get weekly calls off high school and occasional emails off primary

I'm speaking weekly to the high school - thankfully that schooling is happening as she is self sufficient.
So far the primary have tried 3 times this week.

Of course they will keep trying if you don't answer!

Tried calling x3 and no response at all? They will keep trying won't they?

We don't phone about work at my school, although we are obliged to monitor engagement. We do have to do welfare checks. If we don't hear from a parent or child in some form during the week (email/attendance during live session/phone call) then somebody from the school has to make a home visit. Perhaps you could send a pre-emptive weekly email saying you are all ok and doing your best with home learning, then at least you can ignore the calls without raising welfare concerns.

Oh for goodness sake just answer them. Not only are you creating more work for them right now but you are potentially creating a bigger issue for yourself. If they dont get a response they will send someone round to ensure the children are ok.

Your high school child should be managing some - I’m a single parent with 4 and I totally appreciate how hard it is. My 15 year old is a nightmare, but at least his lessons are online he can just get on.
10 year old just gets on with it, mostly but means he’s submitting a lot I’ve not seen. 9 year old is being a total nightmare won’t do anything then when he does it’s a battle and needs sat with or he’s annoying others etc. Chaos 95% of the day. Everyone is stressed out and fed up tbh.

Phone school explain and ask for them to stop calling That you’re fine and doing the best you can but calling is stressing you out when nothing is going to change. Do what you can, it’s hard when it all falls on you & there’s no one there to give you time out or help with things. Or even just to talk to

I get 4 calls every other day. It's draining tbh..
They speak to 3 of the dc once a week to do a welfare check. If the dc are late logging in I get a call about that. 3 x dc at the same school.

Our school are sending teachers to your home if you don't answer their calls!

When you say it’s impossible, could you indicate (vaguely) why? So it is learning needs, technology etc? When you say school won’t help, what help were you hoping for? Maybe we can help you reach a more helpful dialogue with them?

If you and your dc aren’t interacting with school at all school will have to try to make contact for safeguarding. I know that’s not the case here but the processes are in place to prevent children slipping through the net.

They will be showing up soon I had it happen with me, I weren’t deliberately missing their calls though, my phone had broke. I do think it’s wrong to ignore them, and why can’t you do any home schooling, you are not the only single parent with multiple children

They will knock on your door, so I'd answer them if I were you.

The two that aren't working - one is 8 and already behind, but needs me to sit with him and help with everything - not possible when my employer needs me present and working.
The other is 10 and has ADHD but no EHCP - as he knows his SATs are cancelled he has little motivation, complains the maths is too easy and needs prodding the whole time to do anything.
Combine that with one old laptop between them, its very difficult.
The school have accepted they are learning, because i have been honest, and have openly admitted that there is nothing they can do, and there is no support they can offer us.

Why can't you answer the phone to them? They're phoning to check on the children so just answer, say we're all ok but can't do any home schooling as I'm working.

If children aren't able to learn at home they should be offered a place as a vulnerable child at school. Have you asked about this possibility? It's certainly the case in a number of schools I'm aware of and was under the impression this was a national approach, similar to children apparently being given laptops for use at home (which isn't happening for many I know, but the principle is the same- give them the ability to resume education).

Unfortunately if you don't answer they will just do a home visit instead.
Then if you don't answer that they are likely to raise safeguarding concerns to social services.
I'd just speak to them on the phone, save the hassle.

Honestly, you're pretty lucky they are contacting you. I'm a single mum with 2 primary aged DC, on with SEN, and a toddler, all home and was trying to juggle full time work around it until I was recently made redundant, so you have my full sympathies - but your kids need support, as do you. The fact that you're not ready to answer the phone just demonstrates this.

My school know that we are focussing on phonics, English, maths and any of the rest is bonus, and that I may be doing work a bit out of the set times and days, but that's ok, and since we've established it, it's been a lot easier. I can do some things on the weekend, or of an evening.

Do you have issues with lack of devices? There may be local charities that can help, or technically you might be able to get a school place. If it is lack of time, then maybe they can help you with some structure, because realistically the high school child should be able to do some by himself and even at primary level they do not need constant 1-1 support, it should be possible for you to do some home learning.

There are a lot of kids doing lots of work right now, you have it hard but that's why you need to talk to the school - they're on your kids' side here, work together to find a way to help them.

Why do you think ignoring them is a good plan? They are just going to keep trying and then turn up at your home. They can't just let kids vanish off their radar!

I think you need to engage with them. It's a shit situation all round but refusing to talk is just childish and will only raise concerns about your children's welfare and increase their attempts to contact you.

They have a duty of care to check up on them if they’ve had no work or contact for a while. They would do the same if they just didn’t turn up at school one day.
You need to answer the phone, or they will escalate this to a home visit.

Just answer it - they are checking the children are OK and it will only escalate if they don't hear from you. For all they know you could have died and the children fending for themselves.

And this is why schools can't win. Next we will have a poster complaining the school is taking no interest in their children.

Schools have a duty of care. They need to know the children are ok. You are creating work for staff who are already very busy by ignoring the class. Please just answer the phone.