For refusing to talk to the school

[pinkpixie83]

I am no longer talking to my boys primary school. I am a single parent, working from home, three children, 2 of primary age and 1 high school age. I have been honest with the school all along that home schooling is nigh on impossible, and now they are just repeatedly ringing me. The have admitted they can't offer me any help, so I don't see any point in repeated phone calls, it achieves nothing.

@ineedaholidaynow

No live lessons (he's 4, so I imagine it would be a nightmare!). Weekly Zoom call for 20 mins that started last week. You've just reminded me that there's one today - thank you!

None of us signed up to this. But we do have to try to help our children in some way throughout this shit show otherwise their situation when they do get back to school will be a whole lot worse for them.

I’m sure the OP is helping her children.

@AStudyinPink

None of us signed up to this. But we do have to try to help our children in some way throughout this shit show otherwise their situation when they do get back to school will be a whole lot worse for them.

I’m sure the OP is helping her children.

Not with their education.

There are thousands of people in this shitty situation. If the school were not supporting my kids in a situation like the OP describes, I would be fighting tooth and nail to do something about it. Wouldn't you?

It's safeguarding. They have to and in our school if parent doesn't answer then it triggers a home visit to check all is ok. So you are just making your own life harder.

Except a safeguarding officer at your house.

@ZoeTurtle

MacDuffsMuff No, I don't find that odd. Plenty of schools don't have iPads / laptops to give out, and none have spare staff who can come and sit with the OP's child 1:1.

@ZoeTurtle My question was this:

Does no one else find it odd that a school would say 'oh we can't help you and won't support you'?

I don't think anyone has said that they do have any of the things you mention. Why do you think that's the only way they can offer support?

You don't know what the school have actually said, do you? She hasn't said specifically. I've asked the OP what school have actually said.

@AllAroundTheWrekin

It's safeguarding. They have to and in our school if parent doesn't answer then it triggers a home visit to check all is ok. So you are just making your own life harder.

This. ^

What are the kids doing all day? I don't mean this to be harsh or critical, but I feel a bit worried about your kids. I think your kids are probably in a vulnerable category now, and school would rather them in.

The school have to make welfare calls.

A lot of people are saying they haven't received phone calls but are joining the zoom calls so that will be why. If you are submitting some work and joining live chats/lessons they will likely not need a phone call unless they've specifically been flagged as vulnerable. Being impossible to contact when the school are trying is likely to cause concern.

ihatemyself I think sansasnark means that she has to phone rather than email if there has been no contact with the child. If your child is on the daily class zoom session, the teacher knows they are ok and doesn't need to call as well.

I'm guessing if the school hadn't contacted you at all you'd be complaining that they don't give a damn.

@majesticallyawkward

If children aren't able to learn at home they should be offered a place as a vulnerable child at school. Have you asked about this possibility? It's certainly the case in a number of schools I'm aware of and was under the impression this was a national approach, similar to children apparently being given laptops for use at home (which isn't happening for many I know, but the principle is the same- give them the ability to resume education).

@majesticallyawkward Your post is fine in theory (and you do state that it is what 'should happen' too :) but this is our experience:

both my kids are entitled to a place in school.
so far, they've had 1 x afternoon as school is 'full' (Secondary, capacity for 900 currently 550 on roll) 'average no in at any point is 10-12', you have to apply a week in advance to Head who 'decides' and will let you know (or not, we have found)
I had 2 calls / 5 emails about permission for covid testing (every letter they sent the link was broken)
they are aware that I am rural very poor broadband and have 1 elderly laptop (the promised help with this did not materialise)

yesterday the kids went in (I have to drive them 20 miles each way to fit the times available at the schoo as the buses don't run then) ds fixed 3 laptops in the school as the teachers couldn't and the 9 kids who were in the one room (mixed year groups) were causing chaos. my dd did less work than she'd get done at home with pencil and paper. there was no hand gel available, no masks worn by the other kids or some of the staff and no testing took place after all that fuss. As I was driving home school tried to call me about something else. I asked about the C19 test and was told 'that's only available for the am kids, you'll have to come back tomorrow am for yours if you want one'
So the reality for many of us is very different from the theory.
There is NO support available even for vulnerable kids from some 'places of education'. There is no redress for this except moving. Too late for kids in exam years. They are royally stuffed this year.

OP, I'd send an email if you can. Or answer them.
It's a pain but they will persist otherwise.

The other is 10 and has ADHD but no EHCP - as he knows his SATs are cancelled he has little motivation,

His high school will still want to know about his attitude to learning and his behaviour from his teacher. Does he know that?

I get it’s frustrating for you but if you won’t speak to them it could become a safeguarding issue

Can you email the school to state what you have put in your posts? So you have a written record.

As others have said they are doing regular wellbeing/welfare checks which is their duty.
If you're finding the calls a bit much then politely ask if they could do one as an email and then the other as a call?
Do they ask to speak to DCs or just to you?
If it's just to you then all check ins could be done as emails and you could copy and paste your response.
Don't ignore it as you will end up with a home visit.

@DriveInSaturday - this is why I was mentioning it - to suggest to OP that this might provide a way to ensure school know the kids are fine. My DC enjoys it and is able to pretty much sort himself out with it now. (But I do think our school have been really considerate - kept it to a short session, staggered for different times so siblings don't need devices/bandwidth at same time, kept it light. )

His high school will still want to know about his attitude to learning and his behaviour from his teacher. Does he know that?

Honestly - all bets are going to be off with Y6/7 transitioners, poor kids. And all the secondary schools I've had experience of have swiftly done their own assessments for groupings.

They’re calling to check your kids aren’t dead.
You’d think people would be appreciative of people looking out for their kids but apparantly not.
You could try sending them one email, or answer the phone like an adult?

Honestly - all bets are going to be off with Y6/7 transitioners, poor kids.

You would think, wouldn't you? And yet all ten high schools my Y6 children transferred to last year all wanted to know that exact information.

School attendance officers and welfare staff aren't rich bogey men living in an ivory tower and existing to make your life a living hell. Usually they are parents (and mostly mums) willing to do demanding, poorly paid jobs because they can fit the hours around their own DC. Most of them will be experiencing very similar difficulties to you.

Answer the phone. Even if they can't help you, at least it will get them off your back for a few days.

You are making a rod for your own back.
Answer the phone.

OP many people are in the exact same position. Single parents are under immense pressure at the moment.

Don’t feel guilty your keeping a roof over their heads.

I can understand its frustrating, as my adult sons SN college keep doing them as well, even though he is in live online classes, talking to his mentor and various others everyday. They like to find out how dh and I are doing as well, which is really annoying. I just tend to be non commital, which Inthink annohs them but it's none of their business