For refusing to talk to the school

[pinkpixie83]

I am no longer talking to my boys primary school. I am a single parent, working from home, three children, 2 of primary age and 1 high school age. I have been honest with the school all along that home schooling is nigh on impossible, and now they are just repeatedly ringing me. The have admitted they can't offer me any help, so I don't see any point in repeated phone calls, it achieves nothing.

School in wanting to help educate children shocker!

It's just standard isn't it? We got weekly calls from both my daughter's tutors when school was closed before.
They did ask about their learning but was more of a check up to make sure they were okay.
Of course they've rung you three times because you didn't answer. If you'd answered first time they wouldn't call you again.

Yes, YABU for refusing to talk to them.

You do need to engage and explain what you can and cannot do.

Between you, you might be able to come up with a plan, for example, prioritising the most key topics and activities and agreeing when you can do those. It might be that you agree to spend 15 mins per evening reading for example.

The have admitted they can't offer me any help

What did they say exactly? Was it a specific type of help you asked for?

Probably best to engage in some form of communication just to keep in touch with school - send a quick email and explain that the homeschooling is not working well and perhaps ask if there is any way that your children could attend after half term if you are all struggling. You could then arrange a mutually convenient time for a phone call to have a chat, perhaps with the class teacher or Senco. Wishing you all the best.

They are checking on the welfare of the children, which is a good thing, but I can appreciate that the phone calls are adding to the stress and work load. Can you email the teacher and arrange a time that is mutually convenient for them to call? So you can block out 10 minutes in your diary so work colleagues will see you are unavailable/taking your lunch break?

Can you work out a timetable for homeschooling so you can evidence that you are doing all you can? Half an hour once you have finished work with one child one day, half an hour with the other the next. 10 minutes reading with each at bedtime. Setting yourself small, achievable goals will help you, and reassure school.

@BaconMassive

School in wanting to help educate children shocker!

What help did the OP say the school were offering? I must have missed it.

Rather than using your time to post on here you could have at least emailed the school. There is no reason before, after work or during lunchtime you couldn't do something to support your childrens education.

@BaconMassive

School in wanting to help educate children shocker!

By calling their mother to say "Oh, you don't have the facilities or time to homeschool? That's a shame. Call you again in a few days."

@BeeDavis

My god if the school weren’t keeping in contact with parents/pupils there would be uproar!! They can’t bloody win with some people. Just answer the phone and explain this to them that there’s no point ringing all the time.

Indeed.

OP why won't you engage with a weekly call with the school? It seems odd that they are refusing to offer help, what exactly did they say? Our school will offer a place to key children and vulnerable children - even those without an EHCP. Is this not something that they can do?

If not, who are you speaking to to get some help from school? The governors? Local authority?

@pinkpixie83

I am no longer talking to my boys primary school. I am a single parent, working from home, three children, 2 of primary age and 1 high school age. I have been honest with the school all along that home schooling is nigh on impossible, and now they are just repeatedly ringing me. The have admitted they can't offer me any help, so I don't see any point in repeated phone calls, it achieves nothing.

The phonecalls are for safeguarding. At the school where I work, we have to call every 3 days if there is no contact, otherwise it is deemed a safeguarding risk (I do think this is a bit excessive).

If you ignore all calls, it is likely you will eventually get to the point of someone doing a home visit due to safeguarding concerns. If you're not bothered by that, then crack on!

They are checking that your children AND YOU are alright.

Tell them that you are struggling. Explain what the problems are and I am sure they will do what they can to help.

At the school where I work we have lent laptops to a number of families. We have also allowed children from struggling families a day in school to give the parents a break.

We understand and want to help!

And if you don't talk to them they will have to keep ringing. It's their job to check the children are OK.

@AStudyinPink they will want to see the children are well

I’d be inclined to let it escalate, maybe they’d get a school place then!

In all seriousness just answer so they can check the children are fine but let repeat homeschooling isn’t possible.

ineedaholidaynow

I know what they want.

"Oh, you don't have the facilities or time to homeschool? That's a shame. Call you again in a few days."

Is that's what's been offered @ZoeTurtle? I can't see where the OP has said what exactly the school have said other than they can't help - I find that really hard to believe that school would openly say that they are not prepared to help two primary aged children.

If they are indeed saying something along these lines, then there are routes she can take to rectify this. My cousin was in a difficult situation and actually took it up with her MP.

You can't find time to speak about your child's learning but you can find time to post about it on Mumsnet during a school day?

MacDuffsMuff The OP says they: "have openly admitted that there is nothing they can do, and there is no support they can offer us."

I also agree about sending the teacher and the head of year an email just saying you are a single parent, with three children, and one old laptop for the two youngest, working from home. See if they can suggest anything like a day or two in school a week, a laptop or iPad device lent to you, or any other suggestions. That way you have engaged, shown willing, but it won't take up all your time to deal with them.

Not answering the phone or responding is the worst thing you can do, they have to check the children are ok and you not reassuring them or engaging at all about education will be setting off alarm bells. Just send an email today!

I think you need to flip your thinking

I appreciate that it feels like an intrusion and a criticism and another ton of stress. Instead, this is your opportunity to get some support and to ensure that anything school can help with is facilitated. They might even be able to offer one or either of them a school place.

Be very clear with the school. You are single parent working full time with 3 children. It is very difficult indeed. The kids are fine (physically/mentally).

You can managed to do X amount of support of schooling per day. Self directed isn't working for your children. (this is the case for tons of kids, btw, what is sent home is based on classwork, and doesn't translate well to home learning). They can recommend what for each child or you will do X (reading, maths, BBC bitesize). If they can provide any tech support it would make a material difference.

Also tell them that you are at work yourself during the school working day. You cannot take phone calls during this time and would prefer to communicate via email, or you can book a telephone conversation at X.

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

I think you need to flip your thinking

I appreciate that it feels like an intrusion and a criticism and another ton of stress. Instead, this is your opportunity to get some support and to ensure that anything school can help with is facilitated. They might even be able to offer one or either of them a school place.

Be very clear with the school. You are single parent working full time with 3 children. It is very difficult indeed. The kids are fine (physically/mentally).

You can managed to do X amount of support of schooling per day. Self directed isn't working for your children. (this is the case for tons of kids, btw, what is sent home is based on classwork, and doesn't translate well to home learning). They can recommend what for each child or you will do X (reading, maths, BBC bitesize). If they can provide any tech support it would make a material difference.

Also tell them that you are at work yourself during the school working day. You cannot take phone calls during this time and would prefer to communicate via email, or you can book a telephone conversation at X.

Excellent advice.

to you though. Very hard situation

Op, yes yabu. Do speak to the school, so they can stop calling to check on your children's welfare, and ask for a vulnerable child place as advised above. Ignoring the school, and your children, won't make the problem go away.

I get where you’re coming from OP. You’ve already told them the situation, so feel you shouldn’t have to have the same conversation every week when you’re just going to be saying the same thing. Just arrange with them to check in once a week, when it’s convenient for you. Maybe they’re calling as they’ve sourced extra help, like a lap top. It’s as much for them to see if they can help you too. Guess this could change from week to week.

You’re being really childish. School have a safeguarding responsibility to ensure all children are safe. You’ll end up with police/EWO/social care on your back soon, grow up and speak with them.

@2020fuckoff

They will be checking up to make sure the children are ok, schools have to do this. If you repeatedly fail to answer then expect a visit from their safeguarding team to check in the children's well being

They don't HAVE to.

We haven't received any calls.