Page 3 | For refusing to talk to the school

ChaToilLeam · 11/02/2021 10:50

How about answer them and say the homeschool setup does not work for your younger kids, there aren’t enough devices, so can they offer another laptop or tablet, or a school place, because you can’t do more. If they can’t offer anything useful, then at least this might get them off your back.

Or, if the type of work you do means you can’t easily take calls, email them, tell them all this, and request they don’t make calls you cannot answer but instead communicate by email.

I sympathise, OP. It’s hard and demands are coming at you from all directions.

AStudyinPink · 11/02/2021 10:52

Well, I mean, it’s not helpful that you’re doing this, but you’re not breaking any laws. They could send someone to check on their welfare but I’m assuming they’re fine.

jollyunicorn83 · 11/02/2021 10:53

You need to answer, it's a safeguarding call! Tell them you can not do the school work with them, I know parents at our school have told this to the HT straight and it's been fine. But also it sounds like you might have a good case for school places

SnuggyBuggy · 11/02/2021 10:53

Could you designate some time when you can to answer some of the calls? Could you send an email when you aren't able to answer. I get not being available all the time.

AStudyinPink · 11/02/2021 10:55

You need to answer, it's a safeguarding call!

No, she actually doesn’t. They need to call. That’s their responsibility. They may need to escalate things if she doesn’t answer. The OP only has to make sure her kids are being cared for.

jollyunicorn83 · 11/02/2021 10:57

@AStudyinPink

You need to answer, it's a safeguarding call!

No, she actually doesn’t. They need to call. That’s their responsibility. They may need to escalate things if she doesn’t answer. The OP only has to make sure her kids are being cared for.

Yes but really school have so much to do at the moment and they are only making sure the kids on their books are alive. They are not the enemy. They don't really care about the school work, they care about the kids.

viques · 11/02/2021 10:59

“I don’t see any point in repeated phone calls, it achieves nothing”

Try to see it from the schools point of view. If , heaven forbid, a single parent in your situation did something awful to their children and it was discovered that the school hadn’t tried to maintain contact whose photograph do you think would be on the front of the Daily Mail underneath a scathing headline? The parent or the headteacher?

I am sure that your school isn’t being quite so cynical, and is trying to contact you through genuine concern about your children, but unfortunately for many teaching professionals safeguarding procedures provide them with a safety net as well as making sure their pupils are safe.

Maybe the school can’t offer you any help practically, but if you are at the end of your tether and having a bad day then use them as a friendly ear to moan to rather than seeing them as the enemy.

AStudyinPink · 11/02/2021 11:00

Yes but really school have so much to do at the moment and they are only making sure the kids on their books are alive. They are not the enemy. They don't really care about the school work, they care about the kids.

I get that, but I think in the OP’s case it’s not helpful to make her feel (as lots of people here seem to be doing) that she’s breaking some sort of law or rule she never actually signed up to. What’s happened is that the school has found itself unable to provide its usual service, with the effect that parents are being asked to educate their children at home. But the OP can’t. Then, the school are repeatedly contacting her about this, even though she’s told them she can’t do what they want. Rightly, they are following their protocol. But she doesn’t have to do what they want. It’s a choice.

Personally I’d send them a weekly email, as someone suggested above: same issues, no change here, kids are fine.

IloveFebruary · 11/02/2021 11:03

I don’t blame you at all, this situation is impossible. I would answer the phone though, just so they don’t escalate it to anyone.

jollyunicorn83 · 11/02/2021 11:05

If you don't have enough IT/laptops for them they can be in school.

HUCKMUCK · 11/02/2021 11:07

I would answer but have a ‘script’. Tell them the same thing every time. It’s frustrating for you I’m sure but they’re doing their job.

Cornetttttto · 11/02/2021 11:11

They are doing their JOB. They HAVE to check in with children as part of safeguarding.

MunaZaldrizoti · 11/02/2021 11:14

You are creating more work for them for no apparent reason. Pull up your big girl pants, answer the phone

larktreebird · 11/02/2021 11:14

@AStudyinPink

Yes but really school have so much to do at the moment and they are only making sure the kids on their books are alive. They are not the enemy. They don't really care about the school work, they care about the kids.

I get that, but I think in the OP’s case it’s not helpful to make her feel (as lots of people here seem to be doing) that she’s breaking some sort of law or rule she never actually signed up to. What’s happened is that the school has found itself unable to provide its usual service, with the effect that parents are being asked to educate their children at home. But the OP can’t. Then, the school are repeatedly contacting her about this, even though she’s told them she can’t do what they want. Rightly, they are following their protocol. But she doesn’t have to do what they want. It’s a choice.

Personally I’d send them a weekly email, as someone suggested above: same issues, no change here, kids are fine.

I agree with this. I feel for you OP, it sounds really stressful

museumum · 11/02/2021 11:14

Just answer, tell them the children are safe and well and you’re at home with them (they probably worry you’ve gone out to work and left them alone!). Say you’re working f/t and can’t facilitate home learning.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 11/02/2021 11:15

Could you ask them to provide more challenging maths? You would probably be better just to have a quick 5 minute chat weekly (?) With them. They can't force you do submit work and they really are there to help and support where they can. Ignoring the calls are likely to result in them being more persistent. All these measures are put in place for the right reasons, even if they do seem a little inconvenient in some situations.

MunaZaldrizoti · 11/02/2021 11:15

I love the two types of attitudes seemingly expressed by parents. "Teachers are sitting around doing nothing vs the teachers are doing too much and are annoying me".

Beach11 · 11/02/2021 11:23

Just answer the phone. If you don’t talk to them they will send a Welfare Officer round to your house

Dogsarehairy · 11/02/2021 11:25

Ask the school for a place for your children. State the reasons: SEN and associated impact on your other children. Unable to access due to work. Limited technology. Welfare concerns for the well being of your child.
If they cannot provide a place then ask for a laptop for each child and internet access

When you have the response to those 2 questions come back and we can give you more bespoke advice.

ZoeTurtle · 11/02/2021 11:29

Yes but really school have so much to do at the moment and they are only making sure the kids on their books are alive. They are not the enemy. They don't really care about the school work, they care about the kids.

The OP also has "so much to do." The school is offering her children zero help.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/02/2021 11:29

Can they not do any work at the weekend if you can't help them during the week?

You will either end of with a teacher or Education Welfare Officer at your door if you don't communicate with your school

BeeDavis · 11/02/2021 11:30

My god if the school weren’t keeping in contact with parents/pupils there would be uproar!! They can’t bloody win with some people. Just answer the phone and explain this to them that there’s no point ringing all the time.

unmarkedbythat · 11/02/2021 11:31

How often are they ringing? DS3 (year 1)'s teacher contacts us every two weeks. A call every week or so is reasonable enough to answer.

AStudyinPink · 11/02/2021 11:32

You will either end of with a teacher or Education Welfare Officer at your door if you don't communicate with your school

What would they say, though?

MrsWindass · 11/02/2021 11:34

@pinkpixie83

The two that aren't working - one is 8 and already behind, but needs me to sit with him and help with everything - not possible when my employer needs me present and working. The other is 10 and has ADHD but no EHCP - as he knows his SATs are cancelled he has little motivation, complains the maths is too easy and needs prodding the whole time to do anything. Combine that with one old laptop between them, its very difficult. The school have accepted they are learning, because i have been honest, and have openly admitted that there is nothing they can do, and there is no support they can offer us.

If this is the laptop situation then surely you should be in contact with them so that they can help with this ?