AIBU to think Covid has improved my life?

[Hellsbells35]

When I look back at my life a year ago, I am so grateful to be in the position I’m in now. But the changes wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the pandemic.

Firstly I was furloughed for several months and able to spend more time with my kids. Homeschooling last March was tough but it made when the kids went back in June feel easier.

I was then made redundant but found a better job100% remote and more money. A situation I could only dream of before!

Throw in mortgage breaks, and less nursery fees and I’m more financially stable than before.

I used to have fomo but now I’m enjoying spending time just with husband and kids. Our marriage is better than ever as we now work at home together.

Zoom quizzes have me catching up with friends I’d not seen in a while and building better relationships.

I obviously have lost freedom and hate to see so many deaths but aibu to be grateful for what it has done to my life?

WTF. Read the room.

Pleased for you OP but there are somethings you should just keep to yourself. I lost my Dad, Aunt and Godmother to Covid over the Christmas period and I am far from alone.

It's not wrong to have made the best of this situation or found unexpected positives in it by any means. No one is saying that.

It's about tact and empathy and timing. By all means fine to explore the surprising upsides and to keep optimism up and focus on the bigger picture. But there is something butt-clenchingly tactless and dare I say it smug about this OP.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I was brought up to believe that when you have benefited financially or otherwise from a situation which has wrought misery on millions you keep it to yourself or at the very least make sure you are diplomatic about the way you express it. Not just plonk out a wide-eyed paean to your unexpected happiness....

I think the people who are saying "god should everyone be miserable all the time?" are missing the nuance. Words are important and the way you deliver them is important.

Personally I’m very happy to hear that it hasn’t been awful for every single person and why should it have to be?

Lockdown gave many people the chance to reflect and regroup which is true of most of life’s difficult times.

Wonderful experience for your children too to spend more time with you and learn that tough times can have a positive outcome.

I’m not goading. I’m home schooling, was made redundant, had to keep away from all friends and family.

Whoever said I was asking because I may not be sure if it’s weird to feel happy - that’s completely true.

I was always the life and soul of the party, and would go to the opening of an envelope. For some reason I feel fine living a simpler life with just my kids abs husband. I suffer a lot from fomo...I think the fact that I’m not missing out on anything means I feel less anxious and can focus on other things.

I’m aware other people having been so fortunate - which was why I was feeling like I should feel unhappy. But I just feel incredibly grateful.

@Hellsbells35

I’m not goading. I’m home schooling, was made redundant, had to keep away from all friends and family.

Whoever said I was asking because I may not be sure if it’s weird to feel happy - that’s completely true.

I was always the life and soul of the party, and would go to the opening of an envelope. For some reason I feel fine living a simpler life with just my kids abs husband. I suffer a lot from fomo...I think the fact that I’m not missing out on anything means I feel less anxious and can focus on other things.

I’m aware other people having been so fortunate - which was why I was feeling like I should feel unhappy. But I just feel incredibly grateful.

Thrilled for you

Hellsbells35

I can totally relate to the point about gratitude: I haven't found COVID easy by any stretch but one of the things that's kept me going is the fact that I am massively grateful that I have relatively secure work and that I've been able to work safely. And that neither myself or my DD have become ill. I express gratitude for this every day and it keeps me anchored.

I'm sure you didn't mean to be goady, but there's been quite a slew of posts in this vein talking about the benefits of lockdown in a way which can be quite jarring.

I don't for one second think you or others have deliberately set out to cause upset or offence. My reading of it is that people are expressing surprise that they have benefited from a situation like this. And that's sort of fair enough but I think people don't realise quite how painful it can be when you have been seriously ill or have lost your job or are working in very difficult situations, to have someone pop and go "wow, this is working well for me".

My particular bugbear was last year when loads of people on furlough were basically being paid not to have to do anything and were going on about how much quality time they were having with their kids and partners. I was working 10 hours a day in the next room while my DD struggled in the other room. It made me feel appallingly guilty and my DD was in a bad place. I found it incredibly hard to read people going on about how much they'd bonded with their families, crafting and going on walks.

It's one of the painful things about COVID that its really accentuated many existing faultlines in society. Ultimately everyone can recognise intellectually that there's nothing wrong with seeing the positives but we don't necessarily want to be hit over the head with other people's positives when we're struggling. It's human nature.