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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think Covid has improved my life?

207 replies

Hellsbells35 · 09/02/2021 20:13

When I look back at my life a year ago, I am so grateful to be in the position I’m in now. But the changes wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the pandemic.

Firstly I was furloughed for several months and able to spend more time with my kids. Homeschooling last March was tough but it made when the kids went back in June feel easier.

I was then made redundant but found a better job100% remote and more money. A situation I could only dream of before!

Throw in mortgage breaks, and less nursery fees and I’m more financially stable than before.

I used to have fomo but now I’m enjoying spending time just with husband and kids. Our marriage is better than ever as we now work at home together.

Zoom quizzes have me catching up with friends I’d not seen in a while and building better relationships.

I obviously have lost freedom and hate to see so many deaths but aibu to be grateful for what it has done to my life?

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 10/02/2021 10:02

Why do people need to descend into hyperbole? I don't expect everyone to be sobbing on the floor. I just think gleefully posting that you've made financial gain from a disaster is a bit crass that's all.

HitchFlix · 10/02/2021 10:02

Good for you OP! It's been great for me work wise. I have a new, well paid permanently remote job. I was trapped in the countryside as a SAHM for the past few years with only sporadic freelance work. Remote work was never an option in my industry before and moving house wasn't a possibility so I'm thrilled in that sense.

Everything else has been shit though!

HugeAckmansWife · 10/02/2021 10:19

She wasn't 'gleefully posting'. That's just as hyperbolic as 'crying on the floor'. She was highlighting that some aspects of this pandemic, for her, have been positive. Its on the title so scroll on by if you prefer to wrap yourself in shared misery. I read a study once, quite recently, about the psychology of sharing a mood. Sadness and misery is apparently much easier to spread than the opposite.. And the old 'misery loves company' has never been more true than on here over the last year. Its great to know you aren't the only one finding it tough, equally, it's great to know there are chinks of light, even if it's not currently shining on you personally.

unmarkedbythat · 10/02/2021 10:32

What's the point of this post?

I obviously have lost freedom and hate to see so many deaths but aibu to be grateful for what it has done to my life?

On the one hand, deaths of millions and financial ruin and incredible emotional suffering of many more, but on the other your life has improved so woo hoo!

unmarkedbythat · 10/02/2021 10:34

Its on the title so scroll on by if you prefer to wrap yourself in shared misery.

This is AIBU, she has asked people to comment on whether or not they think she is BU so no, people do not have to scroll byand you can think she's an insensitive eejit without any wish to 'wrap yourself in shared misery'. JFC.

DoormatBob · 10/02/2021 10:35

I like reading the positive stories. It has been a good 12 months for me. Yes I'm lucky to have a safe job but this last year has changed my outlook and made me a better person and the plans I now have in place will hopefully make life better over the next few years.

I'm fed up of the "we're all just surviving" crap, especially when it's friends/family who you know haven't suffered any major trauma due to covid.

Well done OP as you didn't actually have it easy.

You make your own luck sometimes, you will never get a positive outcome from sitting around moaning on the Internet.

SmileyClare · 10/02/2021 10:37

Ok maybe Op wasn't "gleefully posting". Fair point. However, what's all this nonsense with posters saying if you don't agree with a thread then "scroll on by" ?

How boring if there weren't opposing views and different opinions.

I think it's unreasonable to tell everyone covid has improved your life. It's a clumsy statement in light of the devastation covid has caused, that's my view.

Posters pointing out op's lack of emotional insight aren't basking in misery or wanting to drag everyone down, I don't see how that conclusion is drawn.

Taikoo · 10/02/2021 11:05

There are people on here who will only be truly happy when the whole world is on fire and everyone including themselves is slowly and excruciatingly burning to a slow death.

MarshaBradyo · 10/02/2021 11:06

Some nuts responses on here.

DenisetheMenace · 10/02/2021 11:07

Not unreasonable to feel that way. Unreasonable to talk about it widely when so many others are going through the worst time of their lives.

HugeAckmansWife · 10/02/2021 11:13

The OP was asking if SWBU to THINK it had improved her life.. not was she unreasonable to post on here about it. Its two different things. I can see how someone might wonder, if their reaction to something was so different to the majority, whether there was something wrong with them - eg I absolutely don't get the OTT (in my view) reaction to Capt Tom, even before he died, or the hysteria when Diana died, or even when people close to me have an awful event. I make the right noises but don't "feel" it in the way many seem to. So I might post on here to ask if I am alone in that. The OP has posted to ask if its conceivable to think that there have been some positives, which there undeniably have, for some people. These may be vastly outweighed by the negative but that doesn't nullify them. As a pp said, if we abide by the idea that we must never post about something that someone else might dislike / have harder etc, this site would collapse. The "scroll on by thing" is for that. If you don't want to engage with then actual question of IF there are positives to this, then don't. She wasn't asking if she was BU to post.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 10/02/2021 11:14

Why is it unreasonable? Genuinely, why? Can we not admit to anything positive because bad things are happening? What a shite life that would be.

OP, there's a Good News thread in the Coronavirus topic, you should come over there, it's not full of doom and people rending their garments over you saying you appreciate spending a little more time at home Hmm

sunflowersandbuttercups · 10/02/2021 15:57

@SmileyClare

Why do people need to descend into hyperbole? I don't expect everyone to be sobbing on the floor. I just think gleefully posting that you've made financial gain from a disaster is a bit crass that's all.
Where has she been gleeful?

She's stating facts. Some people HAVE benefitted massively from this, and she should be allowed to talk about it without people piling on with even more misery.

Life goes on. Yes, COVID is shit but dwelling on all the bad parts and not allowing yourself to be grateful for anything isn't going to help anyone.

Bluesername · 10/02/2021 17:25

I'm pleased for you OP.

I wouldn't have worded the title like that though. Covid doesn't improve lives, it is your change in circumstances and behaviours which you've found beneficial. The fact that Covid was a catalyst doesn't make it a good thing in itself. It's obviously still a serious and life-threatening virus, yet you only mention the deaths as an afterthought.

I am not sure AIBU is a great place for the thread either because obviously many people will say YABU.

DadOfTheMoment · 10/02/2021 18:46

I think there are a lot of winners, and many losers. You're not being unreasonable but I would suggest not broadcasting your good fortune

MintyMabel · 10/02/2021 20:39

That's nice OP. Maybe a little thoughtless to post though.

Yeah, how dare people post anything positive, anything good, not laden with doom and gloom and scaremongering bullshit. 🙄

Lockdown has been great for me too. I’m not going to apologise for that.

MintyMabel · 10/02/2021 20:41

I just think gleefully posting that you've made financial gain from a disaster is a bit crass that's all.

Of course. I forgot on MN you can only talk about money if you are living on tuppence a week.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 10/02/2021 21:22

Unless you're claiming that you earn £250k and can't possibly be expected to live in London on that.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 11/02/2021 11:42

On MN you may only be either living on £1 a day so you can privately educate your 4 kids to PHD level because well educated kids are the ONLY thing that matters, but you must also never look like you care and your child must be at GCSE maths level by year 3 without mentioning the private tutor that you hire in secret. OR you’re scrimping as a SAHM as DP works 17 hour days but is also expected to bath time and cook (very cheap) meals 6 days out of 7. But you do, of course, have a your own money in your own account that you never touch, because a woman should always be financially independent... Grin

Persephoned · 11/02/2021 12:15

Sorry OP, I’m glad things are going well for you, but your last paragraph is at best mind bogglingly insensitive/crass. ‘I’ve had such a great year - shame about the 100000 deaths tho’

BonnieDundee · 12/02/2021 07:44

Sorry OP, I’m glad things are going well for you, but your last paragraph is at best mind bogglingly insensitive/crass. ‘I’ve had such a great year - shame about the 100000 deaths tho’

Not what the OP said at all. She said she was grateful

Aprilx · 12/02/2021 08:17

@BonnieDundee

Sorry OP, I’m glad things are going well for you, but your last paragraph is at best mind bogglingly insensitive/crass. ‘I’ve had such a great year - shame about the 100000 deaths tho’

Not what the OP said at all. She said she was grateful

But it is crass to state that you are grateful for something that has caused millions of deaths worldwide. I also didn’t really like the gloating about benefiting from getting money for nothing whilst the country is left virtually bankrupt.

OP has the emotional intelligence of a pea.

Original poster
Hellsbells35 · 13/02/2021 09:38

So funny. I definitely don’t have the emotional intelligence of a pea. Why would I bother posting in AIBU? It was because I’ve never been happier and I feel like I shouldn’t be.

OP posts:
ichifanny · 13/02/2021 09:51

Yes I’m glad some people have managed to salvage lovely lives in this dumpster fire that has destroyed many lives .
I’ve worked non stop since last March doing the jobs of about 4 people , my kids are suffering my mental health is in the bin and there seems to be no end to it , I strongly suspected some people were furloughed at home having lovely lives and this confirms it 🤷‍♀️ Maybe a bit bitter everything I know has changed beyond recognition .

5128gap · 13/02/2021 10:05

I think there are a lot of people who would say the same OP.
It really boils down to how much you liked your life before, and how much you've lost or gained, both now and for the future.
Its hugely divisive and very random, as in some ways it has thrown the old orders and expectations of privilege aside.
Some people who were very comfortable and expected to remain so, may have had their lives turned upside down, while others who had less or were less happy may have benefited. Or not.
The experience is so different for everyone.