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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think Covid has improved my life?

207 replies

Hellsbells35 · 09/02/2021 20:13

When I look back at my life a year ago, I am so grateful to be in the position I’m in now. But the changes wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the pandemic.

Firstly I was furloughed for several months and able to spend more time with my kids. Homeschooling last March was tough but it made when the kids went back in June feel easier.

I was then made redundant but found a better job100% remote and more money. A situation I could only dream of before!

Throw in mortgage breaks, and less nursery fees and I’m more financially stable than before.

I used to have fomo but now I’m enjoying spending time just with husband and kids. Our marriage is better than ever as we now work at home together.

Zoom quizzes have me catching up with friends I’d not seen in a while and building better relationships.

I obviously have lost freedom and hate to see so many deaths but aibu to be grateful for what it has done to my life?

OP posts:
shinynewapple2021 · 09/02/2021 21:37

Your'e not unreasonable to think this . And you are probably not the only one where positives outweigh negatives , but it wasn't particularly clever or thoughtful to post it on here was it ?

Bubbinsmakesthree · 09/02/2021 21:39

I think after lockdown 1 there were are surprisingly large % of people who said their life had improved. Imagine it’s rather less now, but certainly some people have benefited.

I desperately wish this pandemic had never happened - both personally and globally but there have been positives and I try to count my blessings.

Babymamaroon · 09/02/2021 21:57

I'm pleased for you and appreciate the positivity!

For not dissimilar reasons, I also feel as though this has brought many blessings to my family.

With so much upset and devastation right now, it's nice to count our blessings once in a while.

peak2021 · 09/02/2021 22:15

Well you are not alone I expect. Many Tory donors are better off because of Covid 19 and the business they have had as a result.

Ingridla · 09/02/2021 22:30

No. Stop. You must be angry and sick of it and moaning at all times.

Seriously though, that's great and I am genuinely happy for you.

Original poster
Hellsbells35 · 09/02/2021 22:33

Thank you for the positive feedback. I’m obviously unhappy about the affect on the world, including deaths of loved ones and lost livelihoods.

Just personally, I have a lot to be grateful for. I’m not saying I would choose for it to happen though. That would be extremely selfish.

I’m back in homeschooling hell at the moment, but hopefully that will be short lived. But who knows!

OP posts:
notdaddycool · 09/02/2021 22:39

To start a post on a public forum saying this is being vvu - to think it and mention it to people you know or at a push put it as an answer in a thread may be ok.

littlepattilou · 09/02/2021 22:39
Biscuit
LostInMoab · 09/02/2021 22:44

Similarly, I desperately wish the pandemic hadn’t happened, but the knock on effects on my small life have been very positive. Marriage in a better state than it has been for years due to more time together; so much time with the kids that I wouldn’t have otherwise had (and yes I’m home schooling and no it’s not hell, for me at least); one of the best Christmases we’ve ever had because it was just us at home; new hobbies because we took advantage of our local surroundings.. etc etc.
Obviously I’d give that up all that in a heartbeat for the pandemic not to have happened. And I guess I probably wouldn’t have started a thread on it (though I remember a lot of people posting similarly last summer). But OP it’s a good thing to recognise the positives in your own life.

KriekAndWaffle · 09/02/2021 22:48

I’ve ended up financially better off as well and got a remote job but I still wish this shitshow had never happened.

AliceMcK · 09/02/2021 23:12

@whoamongstus

Mumsnet: Oh god we're so sick of the doom and gloom OP: posts something nice Mumsnet: NO NOT LIKE THAT GET BACK IN YOUR BOX HAPPY PERSON

Good for you, OP! Lots of people have been able to reevaluate their lives in the last 12 months and some will have been lucky enough to make positive changes - you shouldn't have to pretend it's been awful for you. It's been a mixed bag for us (mental health so-so, finances shite, but WFH permanently suits me so much more and our relationship has got even better) but I am very, very grateful that amongst the absolute global horror that has been Covid, that I've been able to take some positives.

100% agree with this.

There have been a lot of positives for myself and my family, especially financially as well as some negatives, mainly mental strain on my DCs. But I don’t think anyone should be put down just because they aren’t suffering the way others are.

Before anyone jumps on my back, I’m saying this as I’m at home on my own sick with 3 sick children, one positive and given how sick the rest of us are I’m fully expecting the rest of us to come back positive.

Audreyhelp · 10/02/2021 06:24

I think it’s nice to hear lovely news , so much better than people moaning all the time,

Peanutbutterblood · 10/02/2021 06:30

Yanbu op, I love hearing positive stories right now.

PlugUgly1980 · 10/02/2021 06:34

Oh dear, someone else who fails to understand that a mortgage break / payment holiday is not a good thing - in the longer term you pay for it Confused

Oblomov21 · 10/02/2021 06:35

Glad someone has done well. Many aren't.
We are ok. Dh and I have worked throughout, even harder than normal. I am very very resentful at those who have been furloughed for nearly a whole year, and aren't grateful. God how I wish I'd been furloughed and enjoyed time with my kids/fixed the garden etc.

But I try and contain that resentment. And be grateful that we still have jobs. And that ds's teens can manage their schoolwork. I have sympathy for those trying to homeschool young children! I would've found that very hard.

stampsurprise · 10/02/2021 06:37

COVID hasn’t changed my life much as I already WFH and never had much of a social life either. I have to shield.

But the worst is yet to come IMO - taxes, NHS more on its knees than ever, companies won’t be so accommodating to staff when furlough ends and so on.

We are all going to pay big time for this pandemic one way or another.

My heart goes out to all those who have been badly affected so far.

Retrogal · 10/02/2021 06:39

Thank you OP. I think the forced opportunity to reevaluate your current life and make changes for the better will have a lasting impact for some. Don't feel bad for saying it

stampsurprise · 10/02/2021 06:52

To answer your question OP you are not unreasonable to feel it’s improved your life if it has.

If something makes you happy it’s good to enjoy it. Life is full of changing fortunes and ups and downs for all of us. I think the aftermath of all this won’t be so great though.

stampsurprise · 10/02/2021 06:54

@Oblomov21

Glad someone has done well. Many aren't. We are ok. Dh and I have worked throughout, even harder than normal. I am very very resentful at those who have been furloughed for nearly a whole year, and aren't grateful. God how I wish I'd been furloughed and enjoyed time with my kids/fixed the garden etc.

But I try and contain that resentment. And be grateful that we still have jobs. And that ds's teens can manage their schoolwork. I have sympathy for those trying to homeschool young children! I would've found that very hard.

I hear you. On the bright side your jobs are obviously important and couldn’t be off- shored easily. You may be very glad of that going forward Smile
EssentialHummus · 10/02/2021 06:56

It's improved my life too, not that I'd wish the past year's deaths, losses, effect on the economy etc on anyone.

My marriage is in a much better place.
I've learnt that I can actually parent DD without "props" (soft play, swimming etc) much as I and she enjoy the latter.
I recognise my family's good fortune wrt work/income.
As a direct result of covid I run a large charity project that's making a big difference to my community.

The other side of it, before I get accused of being smug, is that DH and I have been in marriage counselling for a while now to get our relationship on track; that I lost a baby last year and going through a MC during covid is awful awful awful because of all the hospital restrictions; that I'm quite sure DD's sense of stability/continuity has taken a hard knock given how our lives have changed. But I take a lot of comfort from focusing on the good things.

Sheepies · 10/02/2021 06:57

It's sad that it takes a pandemic for people to change things in life that make you unhappy. If anyone learns anything hopefully it's that change is possible, you don't have to spend Christmas running between relatives houses, and there are other jobs out there.

Sheepies · 10/02/2021 06:59

I am very very resentful at those who have been furloughed for nearly a whole year, and aren't grateful

Not everyone enjoyed being home all the time, and it's likely their jobs are less secure. Why should they be grateful for a situation they didn't choose?

Justreadingtheforum3 · 10/02/2021 07:05

People on here are so nasty.

Good for you O/P. It's not like you're bragging about your wonderful life. Unable to pay your mortgage and redundancy must have been tough. Well done for finding the positives in the situation and clearly your new employer liked your attitude.

Ignore people who are putting you down. Misery loves company. X

SingANewSongChickenTikka · 10/02/2021 07:05

It’s great that you can see the positives in a situation, and good for you if your life has changed for the better. I do find sentences along the lines of I hate to see so many death BUT difficult to get on board with though.

Ninjasan · 10/02/2021 07:07

Great for you. I'm from Europe and have been living here for 20 years. I can't see my family and now there is planned closing the borders so it will be impossible to see them again for a long time. I have friends who couldn't go to their countries to attend their parents funerals. I fear the moment I hear that there is something wrong with any of my parents and I won't be able to do anything.
I have been working from the office and not furloughed for one day when the nation enjoyed their gardens in spring and summer last year.
Yes I am miserable, worried and tired. Can't stand those happy people who can work from home, have more money, probably parents near they can see outside. And yes I am bitter about everything at the moment.