AIBU to think Covid has improved my life?

[Hellsbells35]

When I look back at my life a year ago, I am so grateful to be in the position I’m in now. But the changes wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the pandemic.

Firstly I was furloughed for several months and able to spend more time with my kids. Homeschooling last March was tough but it made when the kids went back in June feel easier.

I was then made redundant but found a better job100% remote and more money. A situation I could only dream of before!

Throw in mortgage breaks, and less nursery fees and I’m more financially stable than before.

I used to have fomo but now I’m enjoying spending time just with husband and kids. Our marriage is better than ever as we now work at home together.

Zoom quizzes have me catching up with friends I’d not seen in a while and building better relationships.

I obviously have lost freedom and hate to see so many deaths but aibu to be grateful for what it has done to my life?

Counting your blessings and exercising some gratitude is a very quick and easy way to boost your mental health and well-being, so good for you OP. Yes, many people have tragically died, and many more have been severely financially damaged and that is awful. I'm not minimising that. For the rest of us, who are fortunate enough not to be so severely impacted, making the best of it can make a huge difference to our quality of life while we sit out the lockdown and wait for life to get back to normal. Some people have found positive aspects to their situation, and that's a good thing surely? Because the fewer people that suffer the better.

a lack of emotional intelligence and sensitivity at play

I think we all need more realistic expectations than that from an anonymous chat forum.

If you don’t like hearing that other people are happy with their lot, scroll on by. Part of supporting mental health is not laying in to people because they’re happy.

I'm torn on this post. Pleased for you OP and it's a great thing that not everyone is having a bad time. Always good to count one's blessings so of course you're not unreasonable in that. I do think the post is a little insensitive - surely those at the fortunate end of this know it already, and those who are suffering will feel worse from reading stories like yours.

@MiaowMiaow99

I would be worried about my “100% remote” job being offshored to a cheaper country

God there's always one. Most UK companies have tried it generally brought it back. WFH means companies can get the benefit of reduced costs and UK staff. Win win.

Very true. 99% of the time it heads in one direction and the quality of what's produced is shit.

Nice of you to mention all the deaths as an afterthought at the end of your post though.

Good for you OP.
However I do think you were a tad thoughtless to advertise this on a forum where 1. you'll get slated by the majority and 2. a lot of people's lives and mental health have deteriorated over recent months.

@PlugUgly1980

Oh dear, someone else who fails to understand that a mortgage break / payment holiday is not a good thing - in the longer term you pay for it

This really annoys me. It’s almost 100% likely that OP understands that a mortgage break isn’t a free break from paying her mortgage. DP, too, has had a break on paying his mortgage and we are grateful and happy about it. His 15 year old business lost all work and clients overnight in March last year and his entire industry has been hit harder than even hospitality. Thanks to the mortgage break he’s been able to keep the roof over our heads during a time when he had 0 work and I was furloughed.

It’s not rocket science is it? That’s something to be grateful for, fully understanding that it’s not a free six months.

I’ve been on MN since 2010 and inthose 11 years I have never seen so many miserable people, desperate for everyone to feel as bad as they do or to knock people down a peg or two. It’s unhealthy and very disturbing.

@OppsUpsSide

a lack of emotional intelligence and sensitivity at play

I think we all need more realistic expectations than that from an anonymous chat forum.

If you don’t like hearing that other people are happy with their lot, scroll on by. Part of supporting mental health is not laying in to people because they’re happy.

Exactly this.

Honestly apart from anything else, reading this makes me thankful as fuck that I haven't become someone who lays into another person for mentioning the positives in their life.

Four people I know committed suicide last year; you'd think this last year might have turned some people kinder, but it's more like rats in a sack on here sometimes.

Even if a person hasn't personally been affected we are still all royally screwed over when this is over Those on a decent wage will see their taxes go up Those on low wage will see austerity.

So absolutely no point claiming it's all been great. Ridiculous.

I think it's good to look for a bit of light in the darkness, good for you OP. I can't see why anyone would begrudge someones happiness when we hear so much doom and gloom at the moment. It makes me feels better when I hear positive stories. If anyone feels differently it would have been very easy to read the title of the thread, think it's not good for them to read it, and move on

YANBU.

I am so sick of the miserable attitudes on here at the moment - every post has to be about COVID and the number of people who have shed. Heaven forbid anyone do anything that causes them even the tiniest amount of joy or happiness

Nobody is saying that COVID isn't shit or that it hasn't destroyed people's lives, but why does everyone have to live every waking moment moping around being miserable? It won't change anything. It won't stop the virus.

Having good mental health is so important right now and I am so sick of people advocating for MH support in one breath, and kicking people when they dare to say they're happy or having fun in another.

Maybe the OP should have said "lockdown" instead of "Covid" but still, at least she is able to identify some positives in her own life and isn't just miserably posting bitter responses to threads on the internet.

YANBU. I didn't really go out much or have any friends before, so it makes me feel better that everyone else has been brought down to my level. You don't miss hugs and contact with friends if you don't have any.

Lovely to see there are some positives coming out of all this, and no one should have to be ashamed of feeling lucky. For me it has made me very grateful for having a secure job, and a good relationship with DH and DS, so being stuck at home is not as bad as it must be for some. I still can't wait until we can actually get out and have some fun though! I miss holidays.

I'm in a similar boat op. My oh I had applied to buy his council flat in nov 2019 and it finally went through in July 20. He is 56 so it's a 10 year mortgage and was literally his last chance. He was furloughed for most of the year so we could spend time working on his property and doing small improvements to mine too. Or relationship has gone from strength to strength! Our teen children joke that they were made for lock down and remote learning is going well for them. My oh is still on furlough, he was back at work for 3 months and that's it.

We have binge watched boxed sets, decorated, planned our retirement and helped my sister with her SEN Kids. We have all been very lucky that it has barely impacted us. On the flip side, we buy take away 2-3 times a week to support local business, buy gifts etc from local fb sellers to keep cash circulating and have increased our donations to the local food bank and women's hostel. I am very sad for people that have been affected by Covid but I don't know a single real life person that has had a positive test. Also I'm vaccinated now so looking forward to things getting back to normal.

YANBU Some people clearly need to understand that it is OK to see the positives of a situation. Even a dreadful situation.

Having good mental health is so important right now and I am so sick of people advocating for MH support in one breath, and kicking people when they dare to say they're happy or having fun in another.

Exactly this!

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe that’s so sad. I miss my friends so much, it’s horrible. I can’t imagine being in your position.

Surely a mortgage break is a good thing if the alternative is falling in to arrears and losing your home.

Good for you op, I’m glad to hear someone is muddling through the best they can. Bit bemused by the reaction you’re getting, you’re hardly bathing in delight at the suffering of others.

I too can see and have experienced some benefits to lockdown. I can see huge sadness and challenges for others (including my children) but it has brought me opportunities too.

We are fitter because we walk and swim more and eat out less frequently. We spend more time talking to each other too. I don’t ever have to get dressed up and out at the crack of dawn to get to London on a crowded train.

I’ve had a chance to write four books, the first of which was published on Monday and the other three due in next couple of weeks. I’ve learned to create a website that’s about to go live.
My French has improved through zoom conversations with friends that require more demanding language skills than working alongside someone.
We’re saving money. We’re taking time to get jobs done on the houses.

I’d swop it all for my daughter to have had her wedding and move overseas for a years secondment. I’d love a holiday. I’d like my youngest to have been able to celebrate her graduation.

Good to see some people are happy but it's a hard one to read when in the last 12 months you got long covid, lost your job and got stuck indefinitely in a dead marriage, when your kids are depressed and there's no fucking end in sight.
I FUCKING HATE COVID

Ignore the people saying its insensitive to post... there's always going to be someone going through worse and people are constantly posting about such first world problems on here and don't get that 'have a little sensitivity, I cant afford a car' nonsense. I also don't think your post is in anyway suggesting that Covid has been a good thing all round, just that it has opened up some new ways of living and joy for you personally.

I also have enjoyed spending so much more time with my partner and have a deepened appreciation for everyone I care about that I am grateful for...and I say this as someone who also struggled with some really low moments/mental health-wise and also loss/bereavement due to Covid. I can still be grateful for the positives whilst hating Covid. Thank you for reminding me of this.

Good for you.

Sometimes things don't happen at all the way expected or want but can have such an effect on our lives be it positive or negative.

Aaaahhh that felt good...

Lovely to read, not unreasonable or insensitive to post imo. It hasn't been plain sailing for you and fortunately things have turned around so you are in am even better place than before.

Covid or not, there are always lots having a worse time. Doesn't mean you can't be happy for yourself and grateful things did come together.

I'm very happy for you

Don’t you know OP you are supposed to be sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing about how much you dislike spending time with your children, how you hate hoke schooling and how you can’t cope with working from home any longer 😉