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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect heating to be on?

583 replies

Glitterinthegrey · 08/02/2021 16:39

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

OP posts:
wrinkly · 10/02/2021 04:25

Maybe he is thinking of the planet.

Graciebobcat · 10/02/2021 05:29

If everyone cut their heating by 3-4 degrees it would benefit the environment massively.

It's reasonable to do that if it just means wearing another layer to be comfortable, wasteful to walk round in t-shirts inside in winter. But if you have winter clothing on and still feel cold then it's reasonable to turn the heating up.

I suspect a lot of people saying they enjoy sitting and working in temperatures of 16C will find the room is warmer than that if they actually have a room thermometer. And how on earth do they manage for the rest of the year if over 16C is uncomfortable? We hardly have the heating on from April - October and the ambient temperature in the house is about 21C, the only time it gets down to 16C is in the coldest part of winter when the heating hasn't been on, and the previous two winters were so mild we only needed a bit of heat in the morning and evening.

User7458 · 10/02/2021 05:35

Our thermometer always says less than the rest of the house because it is in our chilly hallway, so 17-18c in hall is usually 20-21c in rest of house apart from kitchen which is also lower temperature. I bought small thermometers for every room from Amazon so that I could see how hot rooms were as you can sometimes get used to heat and have it higher than you need, I find 20-21c is about right

G5000 · 10/02/2021 06:19

If you are normally fine in your house when under blankets, wearing thermals, thick socks, several jumpers, snoods, scarves, snowsuits and fluffy dressing gowns, then when going to someone else's house that's heated to a reasonable temperature, you can simply remove most of those layers.

RuledbyASD · 10/02/2021 06:47

@SuperLoudPoppingAction

Are you contributing to utilities? It would cost me a fortune to keep the house warmer than 16.5
Are you serious or just being goady? 16.5 is ridiculously cold.
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2021 06:48

Looks like you’re just going to grin and bare it then.

RuledbyASD · 10/02/2021 06:53

@Fuckingcrustybread I can assure you my 76yr old mother is not sitting in an expensive house with a huge pension pot! Her employer screwed her out of her pension so now she has no choice but to claim state pension despite working full time since she was 15. She survives on £400 per month and due to receiving £50 a month from one employer she had in the 60s, she's not entitled to pension credits! Her only saving grace is that she's mortgage free on her 2 bed bungalow....

Sorry but I despise this vile attitude towards so-called boomers, presuming they're all loaded.

RuledbyASD · 10/02/2021 06:54

@Sweet666

I don't have heating at this time of year, put some extra layers of clothes on will help a lot
You don't have heating in the middle of winter? What?????
RuledbyASD · 10/02/2021 07:02

@Touloser

You'd hate it here there - set for 12.5 during the day, 8.5 overnight!
Toulouser wins the race to claim the coldest house! 🏆🥇🥂🎉

Congrats Toulouser! Would you like to say a few words?!

RuledbyASD · 10/02/2021 07:04

@79andnotout

Is he fat? My dad and step mother have their house freezing, me and siblings/partners are always cold there so make them put a fire on. They're both obese so just don't feel the cold.

My house is usually 18/19 if the heating is on but we usually just stick the wood burner on in the evening.

Excuse you?!?! Overweight people get cold too you know Hmm
Ginfordinner · 10/02/2021 07:10

Why do some people feel morally superior for not feeling the cold? How do they cope when we get warmer weather?

Are they the same posters who complain about the "heat" when it is 18 degrees outside?

kowari · 10/02/2021 07:28

@Ginfordinner

Why do some people feel morally superior for not feeling the cold? How do they cope when we get warmer weather?

Are they the same posters who complain about the "heat" when it is 18 degrees outside?

I don't feel 'morally superior' and I must have missed the posts from people saying that they do.

I just feel unwell when heating is too high, headachey. I lived in a warmer climate until a few years ago but had the heating at 17 since our first winter here, it's just what was comfortable for us. I was used to winters that were single digits at night, teens in the day, and the same temperatures inside due to no insulation or central heating. High thirties in summer. I have no problem with summer heat, I think it's a huge difference between outside and inside temperatures I can't cope with.

Joss1e · 10/02/2021 07:32

That’s way too cold for me and mine. Ours is set to 22 I’d be freezing and have to leave. Maybe go to someone with warm house. Good luck 👍

KatharinaRosalie · 10/02/2021 07:41

You'd hate it here there - set for 12.5 during the day

Yes, yes I would. In fact one year when we didn't have heating for a few days due to renovations and it dropped to 13-14, we moved into a hotel as this was simply not bearable.

Ginfordinner · 10/02/2021 07:49

kowari the comment was aimed at people who are who think that putting any heating on at all is some kind of moral failing.

At this time of year I wear jumpers and thick socks, but still have my thermostat set at 20 degrees. It doesn't mean that the temperature is 20 degrees throughout the house, but it will be something near that in my living room, which is a room where I don't move around in very much.

17 degrees is fine if I am moving around, but not when I am sitting still. I would need a blanket.

Ginfordinner · 10/02/2021 07:50

My kitchen is currently 14 degrees BTW.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 10/02/2021 07:57

People walk around in shorts and t-shirts when it’s 16 degrees in spring.
My heating is set to 17 in the day and 16 at night. It definitely is not cold! If we feel chilly then we put jumpers on as that is the responsible thing to do. Both financially and for the environment. I always chuckle when people complain they’re cold but walk around in just a t-shirt. My 9y/o daughter will regularly walk around in the middle of winter with this temperature. If it’s a particularly cold period (eg,
Lots of snow) then I’ll turn it up to 18.5 because we’re end of terrace in an open area and the house can drop temperature quickly. However I only do this 2-3 times a year.

If you’re not used to this temperature then you will feel it as cold. Perhaps offer some money and say you’re not used to having the temperature so low and could you put it up a couple of degrees in exchange for some money which you’ll happily pay him.

Ginfordinner · 10/02/2021 07:58

My heating goes off at night. Our living room is 17 degrees right now.

Norwayreally · 10/02/2021 08:02

We have ours set at 20 and it’s sometimes even too cold then so 16 is absolutely bonkers in the middle of winter. I’d offer him some money towards it. I think a lot of older people are stricter with things like this, DH’s Grandad is the same.

Stirling2701 · 10/02/2021 08:03

I couldn't bear that. There is nothing worse than being in a cold house. My brother's house is like that so I make a point of never visiting him in winter (not that I can at the moment anyway because of lockdown).

Mummadeze · 10/02/2021 08:20

Because we are at home in the week and not at work / school the heating is off. It comes on at 4.30pm all year round. I wear layers, a blanket and have a hot water bottle to sit at my desk. Looking forward to the Summer! Am really lucky as my DD doesn’t feel the cold and is fine in normal clothes. If she was really cold, I think I would give in. Feel sorry for your kids.

Familyshopper · 10/02/2021 08:24

Sitting round in blankets !!! Urghhh no thank you maybe that’s why I need my heating turned up I’m 8 stone would struggle to call that fat

soundofsilence1 · 10/02/2021 08:25

I don't think a lot of people realise how much the costs of heating can vary. In a large poorly insulated house just getting the temperature up to 16 degrees can costs 3k plus. It is also not always possible to improve things if they are sigle brick or timber framed.

Not saying this is the case for the OP though.

bossyrossy · 10/02/2021 08:29

It’s a well known fact that men do not feel the cold to the same extent as women. Your FIL is probably quite comfortable at 16.5 degrees but it would be too cool for me.

Ginfordinner · 10/02/2021 08:46

@soundofsilence1

I don't think a lot of people realise how much the costs of heating can vary. In a large poorly insulated house just getting the temperature up to 16 degrees can costs 3k plus. It is also not always possible to improve things if they are sigle brick or timber framed.

Not saying this is the case for the OP though.

Our last house (200 years old) was a money pit to heat. It's one of the reasons we moved to a more modern house.