Page 12 | Parents in dc's class lying about homeschooling!!!

Pastasau · 2021-02-07T22:32:47+00:00

On both dc's WhatsApp groups, a certain few parents have been going on & on about how their kids are doing the bare minimum, no time to do the extra work set & they are absolutely not pushing the schoolwork & do not force the kids to finish any of it... However dc had a social zoom call with some friends from the class, one said she wasn't allowed to go on as she had a zoom with her tutor, the other friend whose mom is the one appearing most relaxed & nonchalant about the school work has her dd up at 6.30 to do 2 hours work before the actual schooling begins! Her dd told my dd her mom recaps all the lessons for an hour after the live lessons, insists all work is done, all extras plus the schedule of work she sets herself! Aibu to think some parents are blatently lying when they say they are relaxed & easygoing about the work? And why lie?

Gliblet · 09/02/2021 20:07

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal not at all, just stop worrying about them full stop

Usually when someone says you're trying too hard, it translates as either 'you seem terribly stressed about this, maybe you need to take a breath or two' (benevolent version), or 'you're trying harder than me, stop it' (mean spirited weasel version).

7vio · 09/02/2021 20:16

I will say this. I feel like whenever I tried to talk to other parents about doing extra with my child - I was judged for it. Luckily for me I can hide behind “the eccentric foreign Mum” mask and just get on with it. But now that I do it quietly - just getting on with it, giving my son that extra work, hiring a tutor - I am being judged again?! Even though this thread is not about me, I feel like I am one of those Mums, who is just trying to get on with it without telling other people, and that’s not good enough, again?!

secular39 · 09/02/2021 20:56

I was actually going to say that the parents are being very gracious! I wish they were some parents like that!!

I have a friend who tends to boasts. I don't think she means too. Every conversation is about "so what did you with your kids?" "Romeo is learning Algebra with his tutor" . Unknown to her, I do a lot with my children--- I just say very little or not all. Though, there is one positive. She does give me the kick up the bum and motivates me to do work with my kids (if I am having a lazy day).

Sunrainsnow · 09/02/2021 21:00

It's threads like this that put me off getting Mum friends at Dd's school. Oldest is in reception and we moved to the area in the summer. It's been weird anyway with social distancing and wearing masks at drop off and pick up. Only really chatted to one other Mum and she is smiley and bubbly and seems straight up the line. Part of me feels I should get to know some other Mums, but another just can't be bothered with the cliques and the politics.

As for homeschooling my DD does the work she is set. I am fortunate in that I gave up my job in September with the aim of focusing on the kids for a couple of years. I do also have a toddler to look after so it's not all plain sailing. DD is bright though and is getting the support she needs so yes she is doing really well (and getting plenty of awards). Would I say this in a class WhatsApp group? Probably not as it would be seen as boasting.

Ddot · 09/02/2021 21:44

Oh dear my children have been so lazy with schooling but look how well they're doing. Just naturally talented I suppose. Blar blar blar

redpencil77 · 09/02/2021 22:10

@7vio

I will say this. I feel like whenever I tried to talk to other parents about doing extra with my child - I was judged for it. Luckily for me I can hide behind “the eccentric foreign Mum” mask and just get on with it. But now that I do it quietly - just getting on with it, giving my son that extra work, hiring a tutor - I am being judged again?! Even though this thread is not about me, I feel like I am one of those Mums, who is just trying to get on with it without telling other people, and that’s not good enough, again?!

People do get judgy about extra work and tutors though, like they take it as a personal slight. Good for you if you have a tutor and do extra work - I don't blame you for not mentioning it to anyone. They are your children and if that's something you want for them then you should. It's no different to taking your child to extra football training (if you can).

JayDot500 · 09/02/2021 22:13

Two days in a row, my kid is the one who gets the answers incorrect live on zoom. I shudder to think of what some parents might be thinking about him tbh. Wrong answers are so rare.

At face value, most classmates are doing excellently! Above and beyond what my DS is capable of (especially since the class is being taught something as 'new' but many already seem to know). My bad? I also have heard parents give their kid the right answer when unmuted, or sometimes the kid will ask their parent 'what did you say again?' Meh. If some kids are thriving because their parents can do more for them, it's a positive thing really. They are YR. I don't intend on doing much more than what the school is setting (I work FT and have a toddler, I don't have the time anyway)

This thread has both reassured me and scared me, but mostly it's affirming my resolve to avoid all SM groups for his class!

LovelyIssues · 09/02/2021 22:19

@hagotcha80 because I work in a school and see everyday what the class submit

Burynan · 10/02/2021 00:40

Might it be possible that the mum who starts her child on 2 hours work at 6.30 is giving her offspring 2hours of her time before she has to start her own job WAH.....??

redpencil77 · 10/02/2021 00:56

@JayDot500

Two days in a row, my kid is the one who gets the answers incorrect live on zoom. I shudder to think of what some parents might be thinking about him tbh. Wrong answers are so rare.

At face value, most classmates are doing excellently! Above and beyond what my DS is capable of (especially since the class is being taught something as 'new' but many already seem to know). My bad? I also have heard parents give their kid the right answer when unmuted, or sometimes the kid will ask their parent 'what did you say again?' Meh. If some kids are thriving because their parents can do more for them, it's a positive thing really. They are YR. I don't intend on doing much more than what the school is setting (I work FT and have a toddler, I don't have the time anyway)

This thread has both reassured me and scared me, but mostly it's affirming my resolve to avoid all SM groups for his class!

Don't worry, this us an artificial environment and your child's teacher knows that. Children have nevervhad to work like this before, if cameras are on for the lesson then lack of eye contact can be confusing. If you are concerned about your child talk to his teacher - sod the pushy parents, your child's progress, question-answering ability is none of their business.

If you know which parent it is, pop your child's mike on and say, "Well done Sue/Mrs Smith*(name of parent)", that might shut them up!

PeggyHill · 10/02/2021 01:05

Maybe they feel bad saying how much work they're putting in if everyone says they are really struggling to do anything.

If you know one parent is working flat out in a really high pressure job and can't afford any tutors or child care, and another is a single mum suffering mental health issues trying to juggle a load of kids alone, then you might worry that you'd come across as a bit smug as the stay home dad with the high earning wife to chime in with "oh, that's a shame, we've completed all the work plus done extra and we have a private maths tutor because we want to make sure little Timmy gets the best possible education he can".

flobberdobberrr · 10/02/2021 01:33

I am this lady. The one lying in the group chat.

I have my own schedule. I'm pushing them as much as I can.
I have two kids with SEN and they NEED both the help and the routine quite desperately.
They are intelligent kids but have no focus and are awfully behaved when not stimulated.
I also know that if I stop or slow down the pace, there will be total utter meltdowns when it's time to do a bit of work. It works for us. I'm doing it for our mental health as much as anything.

They haven't been where they need to be the last few years because they haven't got the 1-1 help they NEED.

I would never let on in the group WhatsApp because none of the other parents are like this, none of them are doing much, and I don't want it to come across like I'm shaming them or I think I'm better than them.

I mean it doesn't really matter does it. It's shit for everyone 🤷‍♀️

Anniying · 10/02/2021 04:38

If you know which parent it is, pop your child's mike on and say, "Well done Sue/Mrs Smith(name of parent)", that might shut them up!*

Don't do that. Other PP have accused other children of having their parents answer a question because it is "obviously" not them. If you know for a fact, sure, but if you don't you will undermine and bully a child because of your assertions and probably affect them negatively for a long time to come. There's always a possibility your assumption "this answer can't be from a 6 year old is wrong" - don't be that parent/adult bullying a child.

rawlikesushi · 10/02/2021 06:12

I'm a teacher and one of my parents told me that she does this!

She said that everyone she knows is complaining that homeschooling is hard, that it's a total nightmare, that they are all struggling to cope.

She said she's quite enjoying it, has found a routine that works, that her kids are pretty independent and diligent - but that she can't say any of that without sounding like an arse, so lies.

The person op said gets up two hours early before lessons start might work from home too, so they do a couple of hours first thing, leave kids to best efforts all day, then do an hour of checking/marking in the evening, I have lots of parents doing that.

redpencil77 · 10/02/2021 07:08

@Anniying

If you know which parent it is, pop your child's mike on and say, "Well done Sue/Mrs Smith(name of parent)", that might shut them up!*

Don't do that. Other PP have accused other children of having their parents answer a question because it is "obviously" not them. If you know for a fact, sure, but if you don't you will undermine and bully a child because of your assertions and probably affect them negatively for a long time to come. There's always a possibility your assumption "this answer can't be from a 6 year old is wrong" - don't be that parent/adult bullying a child.

I meant if obvious.

Bluewash · 10/02/2021 08:25

If you know which parent it is, pop your child's mike on and say, "Well done Sue/Mrs Smith(name of parent)", that might shut them up!*

OMG what an immature and unkind suggestions. With some parents you really do wonder if they've ever grown up. Their poor children

Anniying · 10/02/2021 09:54

@redpencil77

Fair enough. Just had to point it out for people who set quite low standards for what they think children should know at a certain age when some children are quite advanced.

You don't want to assume just because you wouldn't have known or your DC doesn't know another child doesn't (as it's been mentioned before - one parent saying a 6 year old answering z for a vegetable said zucchini so it was obviously a parent, when that wouldn't sound unusual coming from a 6 year old to me).

Sorry didn't mean to focus on that. I agree with a lot of your points. Just scared some people will abuse that advice especially of the back of terrible assumptions linked to their own capabilities

honeybee88 · 10/02/2021 09:57

😵😳no really! We do very little. But mine are 6-7ish and there is no need to fuss. They will be able to catch up. We slept in today....and it was a loooong walk to school( down stairs) ...😂😂😂

monkeyaids46 · 02/01/2022 09:34

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