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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - I moved a vase

238 replies

PineapplePrincess · 07/02/2021 22:00

That’s it. I moved it. From the living room to the sitting area in the kitchen.

Cleared the kids stuff away, as no one had touched the stuff in over a year and they were collecting dust. Plug sock was visible, so arranged a lamp, vase and old fashioned phone in a way that would hide it and look nice.

Not wedded to it, but thought it would do till I find something better.

Of course husband lost the plot. Doesn’t like it. Okay fine, I asked him to suggest something better or said to just leave as is till we could maybe buy something - but no wasn’t happy.

Ended in a shouting match, as he’s trying to put the vase back - I’m trying to keep it where it is. Apparently I make all the decisions when it comes to decor (I don’t) and never consult him. I didn’t think we needed a conversation to move a bloody vase.

Really....?

OP posts:
spriggit · 09/02/2021 19:28

Like 1ittle green said, I would be investigating aspergers/spectrum type personality.

gemgemgemgemgem · 09/02/2021 19:50

I don’t think it’s about the vase

FredtheCatsMum · 09/02/2021 20:01

Oh lord, another manchild. Some blokes just aren't worth the bother OP. Lose him.

Sally2791 · 09/02/2021 20:07

I agree, it’s not about the vase. How often does he pull a stunt like that?

NotMeekNotObedient · 09/02/2021 20:23

He didn't speak to you for a week over a radiator cover Hmm. Sounds like it's only what he wants that matters.

MumWifeMe · 09/02/2021 20:41

This made me laugh so much!!

tolerable · 09/02/2021 21:17

of course?!?!?
think with your head?..home= what?that?ffs

Ddot · 09/02/2021 21:38

Sounds like he has ocd coming on. Change is stressing him out

IstandwithJackieWeaver · 09/02/2021 21:59

@NotMeekNotObedient

He didn't speak to you for a week over a radiator cover Hmm. Sounds like it's only what he wants that matters.
To be fair, I hate radiator covers and buyi g one would be grounds for divorce. We're not married either.
JGACC · 09/02/2021 22:11

I once hung a 1m by 1m50 painting in the living room (replacing a 90cm x 90cm) and partner didn't notice for 3 weeks!!! Different colours and different subjects etc!

Zeds5ada · 09/02/2021 22:17

I lived with a man once, I didnt understand why he needed to be involved in the tiny details of house decor. He stopped talking to me for the smallest of things on a regular basis. Cushion covers had to get the seal of approval etc etc. If i bought something for the house he didn't like, he made it known for many years afterwards. How I made 'ugly' or stupid choices etc etc.
We are thankfully no longer married, and he has a new victim.

Coldbrewsandamumbun · 09/02/2021 22:25

I can do what I want to the house and DH wouldn’t bat an eyelid. If I decided to knock a hole through a wall he would just say wtf and ask why. Not speaking to you for a week is horrible and also very controlling. Ignoring someone is abusive.

Noidea23 · 09/02/2021 22:32

My husband and I had an argument about fridge magnets in the first lockdown... I think if a person gets upset by fridge magnets, they’re really not cut out for family life 🙄

SpudsandGravy · 09/02/2021 22:42

Is there any chance that he might be on the autistic spectrum?

Ddot · 10/02/2021 06:50

Pistashioglace
PATIO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣naughty!

amispeakingenglish · 10/02/2021 07:42

Does he have something, such as autism, and doesn't like change?

TheRobotsAreComing · 10/02/2021 07:59

He can't be that controlling else you wouldn't still be married surely?

I'd be inclined to look into asbergers/ASD.

honeybee88 · 10/02/2021 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blacksheepcat · 10/02/2021 10:29

That was going to be my question. Is he on the autistic spectrum as it would be perfectly normal for him to react like that if he is.

TheWernethWife · 10/02/2021 10:39

We only have one radiator cover and that's in the kitchen. The radiator is offset on the wall and the cover hides that. Our 3 cats love lying on the top of it warming their tummies.

fiveoldteddies · 10/02/2021 10:44

JGACC that would be dh

Bluesheep8 · 10/02/2021 10:46

Why is the autistic spectrum so regularly bandied about as an excuse/reason for childish behaviour and sulking? Confused

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 10/02/2021 11:32

@Bluesheep8

I hate seeing the sockets - every one in my house is hidden behind something.

But doesn't it look odd having random objects placed in front of every single socket? I've never come across this before. Genuine question

How would you know?

Do you check every house you go into has its sockets on show?

Fluffmum · 10/02/2021 12:03

Seems unhinged

GloGirl · 10/02/2021 12:07

@Oldbutstillgotit

Why do some posters immediately jump to the conclusion that someone has OCD/ADHD / whatever rather than they are just a bad tempered controlling arse ?
Because its so unusual to be cemented to the idea of something without any importance and have a completely abnormal reaction.

Unless he is matching it with some abusive words it feels more that for her husband, he is not coping with his own problems around change.

Which is not neuro typical.

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