Page 4 | AIBU - I moved a vase

PineapplePrincess · 2021-02-07T22:00:58+00:00

That’s it. I moved it. From the living room to the sitting area in the kitchen. Cleared the kids stuff away, as no one had touched the stuff in over a year and they were collecting dust. Plug sock was visible, so arranged a lamp, vase and old fashioned phone in a way that would hide it and look nice. Not wedded to it, but thought it would do till I find something better. Of course husband lost the plot. Doesn’t like it. Okay fine, I asked him to suggest something better or said to just leave as is till we could maybe buy something - but no wasn’t happy. Ended in a shouting match, as he’s trying to put the vase back - I’m trying to keep it where it is. Apparently I make all the decisions when it comes to decor (I don’t) and never consult him. I didn’t think we needed a conversation to move a *bloody* vase. Really....?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 07/02/2021 23:49

Was he just looking for a row?
Is there something coming up that he now has an excuse to not engage with/not ha e to do because now he's mad at you?
What about the other time you argued over something ridiculous and didn't speak to you for a week?

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 07/02/2021 23:56

@Wingedharpy have you seen that movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" - your post immediately reminded me of that!

HeddaGarbled · 07/02/2021 23:58

See, I don’t agree. If he doesn’t like the radiator cover and he prefers the vase where it was, why isn’t he allowed those preferences?

ErrolTheDragon · 08/02/2021 00:01

@HeddaGarbled

See, I don’t agree. If he doesn’t like the radiator cover and he prefers the vase where it was, why isn’t he allowed those preferences?

He was, but he chose to be weird about them .

Wingedharpy · 08/02/2021 00:08

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown : I shall seek out said film and watch.
I don't view him as "the enemy" in any way, shape or form.
I love him to bits and think the feeling's mutual - still doesn't stop us from annoying each other at times.

pistachioglace · 08/02/2021 00:11

@KarmaNoMore

I would check for a camera somewhere in the vicinity of what you moved. It is not unheard of unfortunately.

That's a hell of a leap, surely if he'd hidden a camera there he's just going to put something in its place and not make a fuss.

Regularsizedrudy · 08/02/2021 00:14

He’s sounds horrible. What a shit life having to worry about a grown man having a tantrum over a vase.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 08/02/2021 00:16

Sounds like my ex who was VERY controlling over little things like the bread bin. He thought he was the King of the house, the one who got the only and final day on everything and it made me feel like I was still living at home with my parents.

And then if I got depressed and said I can't take this anymore it would be "you're leaving me over a bread bin what a psycho"

He's an ex for a reason.

Mamanyt · 08/02/2021 00:27

@SarahAndQuack

Is he normally like this, or is this covid-related stress?

That was my first thought, as well! God knows, we're all on edge at this point.

montysma1 · 08/02/2021 00:40

Jeez I am a, compulsive furniture left in the house alone for any length of time. Husband breezes in and falls over stuff.

Occasionally he ventures opinuind about one of my house decorating ideas but in honesty, he doesn't give a flying fuck about wall colours or decor so he just putting his oar in. Then he forgets what his opinion was anyway....

FortunesFave · 08/02/2021 00:45

The vase is plastic btw, with a fake candle inside and a bark surround with cut out stats

I can't envision this at all! What is a 'cut out stat"?? Do you mean "Shape" and it was a typo?

How is a vase plastic? With a candle in it AND a bark surround?

Not the point of the thread at all! I know but I need to see this vase!

MrsClatterbuck · 08/02/2021 00:55

My DH rearranges the furniture in the living room and dining room all the time. Smaller living room now so less scope. I just let him get on with it and only comment if I don't like a certain aspect but that is rare. It's usually part of giving the room a really good clean so crack on Dh.

KindofAwakeTonight · 08/02/2021 01:02

@m0therofdragons

Weird! I regularly move rooms around. Last time Dh made a comment that he finds it strange that I do this but it’s usually when I’m feeling stressed so have a room change. Apparently in the 20 years he lived at home his living room never changed once. I’d never really thought about it but guess it’s one of my quirks.

Me too, and DH had always accepted this.

Doubt he'd notice a vase moved.

Anystarinthesky · 08/02/2021 01:05

I can't imagine DP would notice if I moved a vase, let alone comment.

If he had some sentimental attachment to it I would put it back and get something else to cover the plugs.

I would have absolutely no time for him going in a mood about it.

FlamedToACrisp · 08/02/2021 01:21

@FortunesFave

The vase is plastic btw, with a fake candle inside and a bark surround with cut out stats

I can't envision this at all! What is a 'cut out stat"?? Do you mean "Shape" and it was a typo?

How is a vase plastic? With a candle in it AND a bark surround?

Not the point of the thread at all! I know but I need to see this vase!

I think it's something like this, but the candle is battery-operated, not real, and the glass bit is plastic with cut out SLATS. Maybe!

www.ebay.co.uk/i/283999773166

FortunesFave · 08/02/2021 01:32

Flamed Yes! But I now thing "Stat" is STAR! That fits the Christmas theme...like this maybe?

Griselda1 · 08/02/2021 01:47

I'm tempted to say smash it over his head but that's obviously very violent and not advisable

EKGEMS · 08/02/2021 01:50

I could park a lorry in my living room and my hubby wouldn't notice it for a week! Damn..I think he'd be sleeping on the sofa if he got that wound up over a vase being moved

Pinkmarsh · 08/02/2021 01:55

Eh?

FortunesFave · 08/02/2021 02:55

@Pinkmarsh

Eh?

Eh what??

englishroseamongstirishthorns · 08/02/2021 03:22

Your husband needs to understand that the home is the woman's domain and that it is not his choice where things go like vases. He surely must have better things to worry about than this? I suppose the lack of pubs being open is a problem for many men these days as they don't have their usual masculine outlet to focus on. I would probably move it back for now until the covid situation is better - when he has other things to do and worry about, move it back.

FortunesFave · 08/02/2021 03:45

@englishroseamongstirishthorns

Your husband needs to understand that the home is the woman's domain and that it is not his choice where things go like vases. He surely must have better things to worry about than this? I suppose the lack of pubs being open is a problem for many men these days as they don't have their usual masculine outlet to focus on. I would probably move it back for now until the covid situation is better - when he has other things to do and worry about, move it back.

Wtf? I hope you're a troll EnglishRose because that statement is so full of shit that I'm slightly concerned for you!

The home is not "the woman's domain" but rather the domain of both parties.

It's up to each couple how they manage things - OP's husband is very petty...that much is obvious...but if a man wants to have a say in the decor, that's fine!

skybluepinks · 08/02/2021 03:47

@englishroseamongstirishthorns

Your husband needs to understand that the home is the woman's domain and that it is not his choice where things go like vases. He surely must have better things to worry about than this? I suppose the lack of pubs being open is a problem for many men these days as they don't have their usual masculine outlet to focus on. I would probably move it back for now until the covid situation is better - when he has other things to do and worry about, move it back.

Well that's a crock of steaming shit if I ever saw one.

englishroseamongstirishthorns · 08/02/2021 03:48

@fortunesfave - i'm not sure there was any need for that language. I am not a troll. I am simply stating my opinion. You may state yours, but there is no need to be rude.

I consider the home my domain and I think most women do. The husband in this situation should not be dictating where a lady places a vase. Unless of course he wants to start arranging the flowers in it himself too, which I highly doubt is likely.

englishroseamongstirishthorns · 08/02/2021 03:51

@skybluepinks - thanks for your view. I don't agree, but as you've been so rude I will engage. This is my opinion. the OP does not need to consider it if she disagrees, but there is no need for you to stick your oar or your size 10s in. She can think for herself. We are all just giving opinions.