To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

@Twobrews

I find it frustrating that with friends who don't drive in the middle of nowhere it's always me driving for trips out evenings out etc (pre covid) I don't mind but just once I'd like to not drive and have a glass of wine

Don't drive then, get a taxi 🤷‍♀️

My experience of this has always been the non driver throwing their hands up in horror and saying that they couldn't possibly afford a taxi and if someone doesn't give them a lift then they'll have to cancel. Along with a few pointed digs about how if you really wanted them there you'd be happy to drive.

My life has been infinitely happier though since stopping pandering to these friends. And funnily enough, it seems that all along they never cared about me as much as they claimed to because when I stopped providing free transport I never heard from them again (although I did hear back from other people that they were baffled as to why I had, in their words, dropped them).

If you can sort out your own transportation without having to rely on lifts from others, then I don't see what the big deal is with not driving.

It's not actually a case of just knowing how to drive, but also the absolute faff of owning and maintaining a car that I'd rather not have to deal with. I have an American license that I can use anywhere except the UK. DH has both an American and UK license. We occasionally hire a car for short breaks or holidays but otherwise use our legs to get around, or busses, trains and taxis for getting further afield. I'm a city person and the idea of living or travelling anywhere that isn't at least somewhat accessible by public trans is incomprehensible to me. Just, WHY?

I reckon we've saved tens of thousands of pounds over the years by not running a car.

*Well lets take an example. Taxi drivers giving elderly people free lifts to the vaccination centres for their covid jabs. I live in an affluent area, these grannies and grandpas are not hard up and probably have a lot more money than the taxi drivers do. Yet they think it's fine for someone to give them a free lift because they don't or can't drive anymore. If you don't have a car you can afford the odd taxi.

Makes me really cross. A lot of non-drivers do take the mickey.*

I am horrified that you would begrudge elderly people lifts for such a purpose. They're not demanding lifts from YOU, so why should you care? They're not demanding lifts from the taxi drivers either: the taxi drivers are doing this out of kindness, and perhaps also for good publicity.

Maybe in your immediate neighbourhood everyone can afford a taxi, but there are many pensioners who can't. And this is not a trip for a fun activity; it could be literally a matter of life and death for some of them, and make a huge difference to the NHS.

And I'm sure that many of them did drive until they became too old to do so safely. Would you rather that they got into a car and risked not only their own lives but those of other road users?

Well lets take an example. Taxi drivers giving elderly people free lifts to the vaccination centres for their covid jabs. I live in an affluent area, these grannies and grandpas are not hard up and probably have a lot more money than the taxi drivers do. Yet they think it's fine for someone to give them a free lift because they don't or can't drive anymore. If you don't have a car you can afford the odd taxi.

These 'grannies and grandpas' aren't demanding free lifts, they're being offered lifts which they are accepting.
Do you refuse all lifts because you could afford a taxi?
It's good publicity for the taxi firm. More than likely they'll give someone a free ride then that person who will need taxis for other things uses the same firm in the future.

I'm a city person and the idea of living or travelling anywhere that isn't at least somewhat accessible by public trans is incomprehensible to me. Just, WHY?

Why not?? The countryside is so pretty, village life is great and because I have a car I can access the city when I need/want to. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@marcella1

I find it frustrating that with friends who don't drive in the middle of nowhere it's always me driving for trips out evenings out etc (pre covid) I don't mind but just once I'd like to not drive and have a glass of wine

I would be frustrated too. You could maybe suggest sharing a taxi post covid?

Incomprehensible? That's a bit ott.
Not everyone wants to live in a city

Taxis are really expensive.

My dear friend aged 65 was a reluctant driver while she was working (primary school teacher). When she retired she gave up and gradually developed a genuine phobia. After all her husband was happy to drive. They retired to rural Wales and had an idyllic life.
On Nov 1st 2020 her dh died suddenly so there she is, lockdown, snowbound etc at the end of a rough track. I managed to visit sometimes on compassionate grounds but now the weather is so bad I can’t do it.
She will eventually have refresher lessons she says but for now she is totally dependent on neighbours . Delivery drivers hate the track. She needs to drive.

I'm too thick to drive. I'm not stupid at everything but I just know I haven't got the skills to drive. I would kill someone or myself so I don't think I ever should.

I don’t drive, have zero interest in driving and don’t expect anyone to ferry me around. But I’m lucky enough to live in an area with good public transport.

My experience of this has always been the non driver throwing their hands up in horror and saying that they couldn't possibly afford a taxi and if someone doesn't give them a lift then they'll have to cancel. Along with a few pointed digs about how if you really wanted them there you'd be happy to drive.
So your experience of shit friends gives you the opinion all non drivers are taking the piss. Harsh.
We always get taxis/walk/public transport on nights out because everyone wants a drink. The cost just considered part of the night out. All my friends are the same all DH's friends are the same.

My parents are friends with two couples. Two of the men refuse to use taxis or pubic transport, one of the women refuses to drive as she wants to drink.
These are the only people I've come across who make demands about driving and all of them are drivers!

DH and I both drive. Neither of us mind driving if the other wants to have a drink. Pre-covid we regularly drove to the Isle of Skye for holidays and I wouldn’t dream of letting him do all the driving.

@Sparklingbrook You not only have buses but bus lanes too?

I am a driver and have been posting about the freedoms that has allowed me but I also appreciate public transport also has value. Don't let that stand in the way of your sarcasm though.

@Twobrews

My experience of this has always been the non driver throwing their hands up in horror and saying that they couldn't possibly afford a taxi and if someone doesn't give them a lift then they'll have to cancel. Along with a few pointed digs about how if you really wanted them there you'd be happy to drive. So your experience of shit friends gives you the opinion all non drivers are taking the piss. Harsh. We always get taxis/walk/public transport on nights out because everyone wants a drink. The cost just considered part of the night out. All my friends are the same all DH's friends are the same.

My parents are friends with two couples. Two of the men refuse to use taxis or pubic transport, one of the women refuses to drive as she wants to drink.
These are the only people I've come across who make demands about driving and all of them are drivers!

No, I didn't say that at all. If you look back through my posts on the thread you will see that I have said all along that I don't care one bit if someone drives or not as long as they don't expect that I will compensate for it. More power to anyone who can get themselves around by public transport, I'd love to be able to do that.

@thegreylady

My dear friend aged 65 was a reluctant driver while she was working (primary school teacher). When she retired she gave up and gradually developed a genuine phobia. After all her husband was happy to drive. They retired to rural Wales and had an idyllic life. On Nov 1st 2020 her dh died suddenly so there she is, lockdown, snowbound etc at the end of a rough track. I managed to visit sometimes on compassionate grounds but now the weather is so bad I can’t do it. She will eventually have refresher lessons she says but for now she is totally dependent on neighbours . Delivery drivers hate the track. She needs to drive.

Sorry to hear about your friend's change in circumstances. If she prefers not to drive then she will need to relocate.

This thread is a real eye opener. Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life? I would hate for my children to be reliant on me to be picked up from school. What if you have things you want to do? My kids have always walked to and from activities with their friends and I can go to my own activities without worrying about the time. Don't people find this ferrying around restrictive? What if you are in the middle of something you enjoy, isn't it annoying to have to stop and go and collect your children from another town? what if you have another child who wants to do a different activity in another town at the same time? Surely the best places to live are those which have all the amenities in walking distance?

Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life?

Because I'm priced out of areas with decent public transport.

@turnedthewatersintoblood

This thread is a real eye opener. Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life? I would hate for my children to be reliant on me to be picked up from school. What if you have things you want to do? My kids have always walked to and from activities with their friends and I can go to my own activities without worrying about the time. Don't people find this ferrying around restrictive? What if you are in the middle of something you enjoy, isn't it annoying to have to stop and go and collect your children from another town? what if you have another child who wants to do a different activity in another town at the same time? Surely the best places to live are those which have all the amenities in walking distance?

I live relatively rurally and we have lots of amenities - just crap public transport!!

So we can walk to school, there is a shop, a cafe and pubs in walking distance but we need a car to get to work, to get into the nearest city or visit a big supermarket.

A lot of people don't get to 'chose'.

There are lots of reasons why people live somewhere they rely on cars. They might already live there, not be able to move to a city, be job or family dependent, or simply enjoy living in the country?

As people have said in this thread, even cities can have terrible transport systems.
I live on the outskirts of a big city. I have a child with a medical condition. My nearest hospital (where we go for regular appointments) is a door to door 20 mns drive.
By bus (they run every half hour) it takes me a minimum of 40mns.
The route has recently been upgraded with cycle lanes, meaning buses are now stuck in traffic- that adds at least half an hour more.

Needless to say I am glad I have the option of driving. Doesn't mean I do every day by the way- but when I have to I can. It makes a massive difference to our lives

This thread is a real eye opener. Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life?
Because I like where we live.

Because I'm happy with the local amenities within walking distance.

Because I care about my career so want to have the option of jobs within a region, instead of limiting myself to where I can get to on an infrequent public transport service.

Because there's 2 people with careers to think about in our household and it seems fairly silly to prioritise impractical bus access over ease of commute for two people.

Because we want to be able to send DC to the nursery that is best for them, rather than one if us having to sacrifice our careers or base DC's education decision on the whims of local public transport.

Because we have hobbies and interests that aren't on public transport routes so choosing to live somewhere less nice for the sake of some buses that don't go where we want seems like a fairly stupid decision.

Because I have lots of things I enjoy doing in life so have no desire to spend over an hour and a half walking and on public transport for a journey I can drive in 15 minutes.

Because as a child I missed out on lots of opportunities due to only one parent driving and I felt awkward always having to rely on friends for lifts.

Is it really that surprising that people might prioritise their overall family life and what they enjoy over access to a bus?

@turnedthewatersintoblood

This thread is a real eye opener. Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life? I would hate for my children to be reliant on me to be picked up from school. What if you have things you want to do? My kids have always walked to and from activities with their friends and I can go to my own activities without worrying about the time. Don't people find this ferrying around restrictive? What if you are in the middle of something you enjoy, isn't it annoying to have to stop and go and collect your children from another town? what if you have another child who wants to do a different activity in another town at the same time? Surely the best places to live are those which have all the amenities in walking distance?

How do your children walk home if they are primary age and it's not safe? What if they are not old enough to get public transport themselves or there is no public transport? What do you mean, drop everything?

Unless you live in a city, not everything is walking distance. What on earth are you in about?

This thread is a real eye opener. Why are people so keen to choose to live in places where they are reliant on a car and driving to undertake so much of their daily life?

Children don't have a choice where they are born. Children born in places with poor public transport will almost have parents who drive, probably two cars, so driving is the "norm" for them. As soon as they are old enough, they'll want their freedom, which will mean learning to drive for many. I would imagine there are very strong inter-generational links re driving. If the parents don't drive, because they live in areas with good public transport, then the children will know no different and will probably not see a need to drive either.

Surely the best places to live are those which have all the amenities in walking distance?

If everyone lived in such places, the over-crowding would be unbearable, house costs would rise due to demand, infrastructure would collapse, etc. It's far better to have people and amenities spaced out.