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Original poster

To wonder why people think everyone should drive

999 replies

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 18:51

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

OP posts:
GoldenOmber · 09/02/2021 09:15

@Handsoffstrikesagain

Genuine question, can someone explain to me why freedoms non drivers have that drivers don’t have? I cannot think of any but I’m happy to be corrected.
I have never once in my entire life had to think about where to park. I’m not limited to buying a house with parking. I don’t have to pay any of my salary towards a car. Maybe those aren’t ‘freedoms’ but they’re not nothing.
TheJerkStore · 09/02/2021 09:20

I know! What a stroke of luck! It's not like I had any input into where I live and took my lack of driving into account or anything when choosing where to live and where I could work! After all, my lack of driving license totally inhibits me from making those decisions. Apparently.

Well of course you have a choice but that choice does become limited in some places and in some jobs if you can't drive.
Not all parts of the country have great public transport services and those services can change. There used to be a bus I could get to work but that stopped running 4 years ago.

When I started out in my career I chose the only organisation employing people who do my job that didn't insist on people being able to drive but I soon realised if I wanted to progress then driving was essential.

Of course you have choice but what people are saying is that you often have more choice if you can drive.

Gson · 09/02/2021 09:21

But why would you not give a good friend a lift if they were going in the same direction as you, or attending something together? Surely that friend would offer to contribute to petrol costs? If you want to drink and not be the designated driver, why would you drive in the first place?

Just thinking back to uni days when I was the friend without a car. My good friends would travel together into uni - I would give them some cash to cover half the petrol/parking. If we were doing something social, then we would get a taxi/bus/walk so we could all have a drink Confused my best friend insisted I never paid anything to her, she loved the company whilst driving and I made it up to her in other ways like cooking her dinners and dog sitting when she went away etc (she was my housemate too).

Also, people saying you will ‘find the money’ if you want to drive. My DM has never driven - she moved out when she was 16 from her abusive home and lived on her own in a bedsit working in a care home. She never earned a lot and could never afford driving lessons, let alone a car. She said she survived on marmite on toast for many years Sad some people can’t just ‘find a way’.

My dad drives but mum always made her own way by walking (she said it kept her slim) or taking a train and in the end, never felt the need to pass her test, even though she is in a much better financial position now. She also said it’s better for the environment too.

Don’t punish the non drivers!

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 09:22

[quote VaVaGloom]@Sparklingbrook I still use the the bus for work as it’s faster using the bus lanes into the city centre[/quote]
You not only have buses but bus lanes too? Envy

RandomUser18282 · 09/02/2021 09:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 09:24

I'm off to work. In the car. I know I am a terrible person for not living somewhere with fantastic public transport but I will have to live with that on my conscience I guess...

FamilyOfAliens · 09/02/2021 09:27

That’s true, sparkling.

Thankfully you can get off the bus and walk if it gets stuck in traffic. You can’t do that with a car.

Blondie556 · 09/02/2021 09:27

what freedoms do non-drivers have that drivers dont have I can drive but have never owned a car and have built my adult life around not having a car. The main freedom, if you can class it as a freedom, is that I dont have all those outgoings associated with owning a car. In normal times this means that I can spend more money doing things I enjoy. At the moment, when my income is reduced due to covid, I'm not stressing about insurance, maintenance costs etc. However, this is only my perspective, I completely understand that some people need or want to have a car, whereas I dont.

VaVaGloom · 09/02/2021 09:35

Genuine question, can someone explain to me why freedoms non drivers have that drivers don’t have? I cannot think of any but I’m happy to be corrected

Not needing to consider parking when buying a house. That's the only one I can think of though!

On the other hand my parents were limited to where they could live for access for work as they walked/cycled (we had no car) obviously it kept them fit and good for the environment. When I couldn’t drive we lived close to school as I had to have a manageable walk for little legs, once I could drive we could consider any house for the first time in my life without being constrained by walking distance. I still prefer being in walking distance but it’s nice not having to be.

ichundich · 09/02/2021 09:37

Unfortunately public transport in many areas of the UK is nowadays more expensive than having your own car. A bus ride (2 services a day on weekdays) into our nearest town costs £3.60 return. Taxi is £10 unless it's out-of-hours, when the rate is 1.5x. The town is less than 2 miles away, but there is no foot or cycle path. It's crazy to think that 50 or 100 years ago the people in my village were more mobile and able to access neighbouring towns and villages than they are today.

VestaTilley · 09/02/2021 09:39

I don’t think people have to drive (I still haven’t got round to learning and Covid put paid to lessons) as long as you don’t inconvenience others by your inability to drive, eg relying on another child’s parent to take your DC to Beavers or Scouts or whatever; not hugely fair if you can’t share lifts.

My DH drives and is happy to, but I intend to learn so we can share long journeys/holiday driving and live more rurally.

You don’t have to do it though, just provided your inability to drive doesn’t burden others.

wellthatsunusual · 09/02/2021 09:45

@VaVaGloom

Genuine question, can someone explain to me why freedoms non drivers have that drivers don’t have? I cannot think of any but I’m happy to be corrected

Not needing to consider parking when buying a house. That's the only one I can think of though!

On the other hand my parents were limited to where they could live for access for work as they walked/cycled (we had no car) obviously it kept them fit and good for the environment. When I couldn’t drive we lived close to school as I had to have a manageable walk for little legs, once I could drive we could consider any house for the first time in my life without being constrained by walking distance. I still prefer being in walking distance but it’s nice not having to be.

Very true. My husband and I would be willing to drive to the nearest town and use public transport from there in order to get to work. We would still need the car to do the first part of our journey but we could do the rest of it by public transport. In fact we used to do just that. Until I sat down with a spreadsheet and worked out our traveling costs properly (instead of just a vague 'costs X amount in petrol) and discovered that we could almost halve our commuting costs by driving straight to work.
wellthatsunusual · 09/02/2021 09:46

That's not the comment I was trying to quote Confused

I was trying to quote the comment about public transport being prohibitively expensive

bilbodog · 09/02/2021 09:48

When i moved to london 40 years ago although I didnt need a car to get to work when i did eventually buy one it changed my life at weekends and evenings. If i wanted to visit my parents 3 hours away in Norfolk i drove up friday evening, would go and get my hair cut saturday which was a half hour drive away in a tiny village, then in the evening i would drive 45 mins to norwich to see my best friend for the evening, home to parents, sunday lunch and drove back to london late afternoon.

I had friends who lived in other parts of london that i could drive to in 30 minutes but it would have taken well over an hour on buses and longer on trains as you might need to go into london, across and then out again - the car journey was more as the crow flies.

I could go on ..........

NightIbble · 09/02/2021 09:53

I don't drive as my spatial awareness is terrible my DH doesn't eirther. He had one lesson and hated it! We are luckily that we live in Greater London so can get by easily with public transport and Uber.
I never had a car eirther growing up as my Mum didn't drive (Parkinson's) and my Dad drove but worked nights so was either at work or asleep during the day. We never had any problems.
I never expect anyone to give me a lift.

NightIbble · 09/02/2021 09:54

If we suddenly wanted one now we couldn't afford it!

RandomUser18282 · 09/02/2021 09:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Keratinsmooth · 09/02/2021 10:18

Independence, not relying on others.

TheJerkStore · 09/02/2021 10:19

Driving is considerably cheaper than public transport for me.
To get to work I have to cross a county border and that makes the train ridiculously expensive - not to mention the fact I'd have to drive to get to the train st in the first place!!

marcella1 · 09/02/2021 10:22

I live in rural norfolk near the coast
Public transport is expensive and poor.
Driving is essential and my parents 15 years ago paid for me to learn at 17 as they knew this. As soon as I passed I was commuting 50 miles a day to Norwich for work.
I'm glad they pushed me into this. I have friends who don't drive and deeply regret this as they are stuck...
However if you live in a city or with good public transport then I guess the need to drive isn't essential
All a personal choice. I love to drive I'm the main driver driven all over Europe

marcella1 · 09/02/2021 10:25

I find it frustrating that with friends who don't drive in the middle of nowhere it's always me driving for trips out evenings out etc (pre covid) I don't mind but just once I'd like to not drive and have a glass of wine

poppycat10 · 09/02/2021 10:25

Well lets take an example. Taxi drivers giving elderly people free lifts to the vaccination centres for their covid jabs. I live in an affluent area, these grannies and grandpas are not hard up and probably have a lot more money than the taxi drivers do. Yet they think it's fine for someone to give them a free lift because they don't or can't drive anymore. If you don't have a car you can afford the odd taxi.

Makes me really cross. A lot of non-drivers do take the mickey.

poppycat10 · 09/02/2021 10:28

I also remember my father telling a work colleague of his whose wife was learning to drive in her late 30s "oh you'll regret that, she'll have her independence".

My mum always drove and we had two cars at a time when most people didn't.

Controlling men like to have ways to control. Having a non-driving spouse can be one of them.

If you can drive I'd get a licence. You might never need it. But it's good to know you can drive if you have to, and these days an automatic will do as hybrids and electric cars are automatic (except for the "mild" hybrids which I think can still be manuals).

Twobrews · 09/02/2021 10:31

I find it frustrating that with friends who don't drive in the middle of nowhere it's always me driving for trips out evenings out etc (pre covid) I don't mind but just once I'd like to not drive and have a glass of wine

Don't drive then, get a taxi 🤷‍♀️

Silenceisgolden20 · 09/02/2021 10:39

I understand why people chose not to drive. I really do. There are many reasons ranging from medical reasons to not feeling comfortable.

In my experience, as a driver, you can be expected to do lifts. Work colleagues, friends etc.. I expected to at work until I said no, I ferry my kids around, not doing it at work.

And in a couple who have children, if one doesn't drive, it is the driver that has the responsibility of picks up and drop offs for clubs, friends etc.
Where I live public transport is shit.

You don't have to drive, that's your choice but to answer why people think you should, it's because some drivers SOMETIMES feel taken advantage of.