Page 2 | To wonder why people think everyone should drive

NailsNeedDoing · 07/02/2021 19:04

I think for some of us, especially where public transport isn’t great, it seems that the lack of easy transport must make life feel very restricted. All but one of the jobs I’ve ever had, I’d have been unable to get to if I didn’t drive.

LST · 07/02/2021 19:04

I don't drive. I'm 30 and its never negatively affected me. I have mobility issues that will only get worse. I wouldn't feel safe driving now even if I could.

Liverbird77 · 07/02/2021 19:04

I think it's fine, if you are prepared to use public transport.
I have a friend who I have given up seeing in person because I am utterly sick of always being the one to have to drive over. She dies drive but only locally...no motorways or unfamiliar areas. She also won't get the train, even though there's a station right near my house.
I was always expected to go there.
Now I have a baby and a toddler, there's no way I am prepared to do it.

Original poster

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 19:04

@evouk I don’t tend to get lifts with other people , so it doesn’t affect anyone else .
It’s not really affected me job wise . Public transport is much better than it was

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AaronPurr · 07/02/2021 19:04

My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out

There's nothing wrong with not driving but you can surely appreciate why it's such a useful skill, think about how diffcult life would be if your husband didn't drive.

Sbowiegirl · 07/02/2021 19:05

@Tal45 I don’t know. Wouldn’t be surprised if I was.

I was always in the top set at school for reading and maths. But for handwriting I had to go to a remedial class. At secondary school I tended to be top of the class in academic subjects (I was dux), but teachers couldn’t understand my handwriting, so most homework was submitted typed up. This was before most people had PCs at home so the deputy head teacher let me use her office every lunch time to type work uo

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/02/2021 19:05

@Sunnydays999

I have always thought it as a optional life skill. It’s never negatively affected me , so I don’t see the point . I can’t see what I would gain from it now .

It didn't because someone drives for you. Many people learned before they got their partner

MrsWhistledown · 07/02/2021 19:05

@evouk

Because it becomes a drain on other people. It's great for the person that doesn't drive, they get to chill out and be driven everywhere, they can drink on nights out too and without a licence you're also limiting employment options amongst many other things

I've already posted above but just wanted to agree with you @evouk - you're right about it limiting job opportunities (unless you live and work in a city I guess) and how they can always relax and drink when going out for a meal etc with no worries.

24butfeeling80 · 07/02/2021 19:05

I think this depends on where in the world you are.
I live pretty remotely in a largely rural area rut requires travel for pretty much everything (doctors, shops, hospital is 45 minutes away ect). - because we’re rural we have 2 busses come through my village a day max.

I personally think everyone should learn the skill to drive, and preferably have a car - even one per family. If you enjoy walking then there’s nothing stopping you doing that, but if you have an emergency and need to get to a shop or hospital then your options are really limited without being able to drive.

I can imagine if I lived in a city of feel differently though.

TedMullins · 07/02/2021 19:05

@Cocopogo

Like others have said, it’s a useful life skill and I find it odd that people don’t prioritise it but if you lived in central London I wouldn’t be so surprised.

Some people do prioritise it and still can’t pass a test. Like a PP I’ve got atrocious coordination and no spacial awareness in a car. I learnt solidly for 5 years and failed 5 tests. I could physically/manually control the car, that wasn’t the problem. It was the mental side. I’d do manoeuvres that I’d think were perfect but I’d actually just parked in the middle of the road and had no idea because my judgement of space and distance was terrible. Quite frequently I’d be focused on one thing - like other drivers and reacting to them - that I wouldn’t notice other things (like a red light). The mental strain of being so aware of everything around me and ready to react gave me migraines that would leave me bed bound for the rest of the day after a driving lesson. Every time I drove I felt on edge, it never felt natural or relaxed to me. Sometimes at tricky junctions I’d panic so much because I genuinely had no idea what I was meant to do and I’d have to stop in the middle of the road, hold up the traffic and calm down while the instructor talked me through it. I’m quite certain that if I had managed to pass a test I’d have been in an accident by now. For some people it’s not a question of not prioritising it, it’s something we simply can’t get our heads around. I accept we’re a minority but it isn’t that we didn’t try. It’s also very expensive to keep doing something you hate and find incredibly stressful.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/02/2021 19:06

Public transport is much better than it was

😂 Yeah, my scrapped buses which are now forcing me to drive are just ace.

BeakyWinder · 07/02/2021 19:06

IME it is usually women who choose not to drive. Personally I couldn't get by without my car, I'm an independent person and don't like relying on others to ferry me around and public transport is a pain in the arse and unreliable.

3JsMa · 07/02/2021 19:06

I'm almost 40 and have no desire to drive.
I'm pretty content with public transport or cycling.
I'm more shocked that people lack basic manners and are so judgmental about other's lifestyle choices.

FamilyOfAliens · 07/02/2021 19:06

@evouk

Because it becomes a drain on other people. It's great for the person that doesn't drive, they get to chill out and be driven everywhere, they can drink on nights out too and without a licence you're also limiting employment options amongst many other things

There have been dozens of threads like this and there’s always a post like this.

I have a driving licence but I don’t drive any more. I don’t accept lifts from people because there’s always a danger that even though they offer, they actually resent having to give you a lift, just like @evouk.

If someone has a friend who doesn’t drive but drinks all night and expects a lift home, they need to be assertive and tell that person they’re not happy. Not tar everyone who doesn’t drive with the same brush.

AlwaysLatte · 07/02/2021 19:07

I do think it is a basic thing to do if you are able to. Close family and friends that don't drive always need help, I've found. Also if I didn't drive my husband would have to drive us everywhere, including long journeys, and I would feel I wasn't pulling my weight if I didn't.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 07/02/2021 19:08

As a teen we moved very rural so everyone did drive so we could have independence.
You dont want your parents turning up to pick you up. Public transport was rubbish.
I probably assumed everyone drove
However I then moved to a big city and I could see why some people dont drive if public transport is good.
The problem is people like my sil and bill who dont drive and expect mil and pil to drive 30 mins to pick them up to take them to places even those 5 mins from mil pil house so an extra 55 min journey and all the way back again. They cant possibly get a train despite living a 5min walk away as "we have children"

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/02/2021 19:08

@evouk

Because it becomes a drain on other people. It's great for the person that doesn't drive, they get to chill out and be driven everywhere, they can drink on nights out too and without a licence you're also limiting employment options amongst many other things

I don't drive, I'm single so no one drives me around.

WatermelonKisses · 07/02/2021 19:08

It all depends on your circumstances. I don't drive and it didn't bother me when I lived in a city with a great public transport system. I did try but have anxiety around driving and failed two times. Now I live outside of the city and have a child and another on the way I hate the fact that I can't drive. I'm currently learning again at 32 but it's been very stop/start due to COVID. Hopefully I will be able to sit my test before my next baby comes.

I think with the amount of clubs etc children have it's a nightmare not being able to drive and it's not always possible to rely on one partner to do the driving.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/02/2021 19:09

@3JsMa

I'm almost 40 and have no desire to drive. I'm pretty content with public transport or cycling. I'm more shocked that people lack basic manners and are so judgmental about other's lifestyle choices.

If you wnat to see real judgment about lifestyle choice, check out some discussions about willingly childfree women😂

Nah. On a serious note, the driving, as long as it doesn't inconvenience others by having to give lifts, it's pretty meh issue. But yes, it is unusual at least in my circles.

Sparklingbrook · 07/02/2021 19:09

I encouraged both DSs to learn and take their tests asap after they turned 17. DS1 wasn't fussed but did it, so he's got his licence for if he ever needs it (currently at Uni), DS2 did it and now has a job impossible to get to on public transport because of it.

All of their friends did the same. I don't actually know anyone who doesn't drive, but it's a bit essential around here.

peppajay · 07/02/2021 19:09

I don't drive although I do have a licence. My parents basically forced me to drive as I lived rurally. I was physically sick before each lesson. Every lesson scared me and freaked me out I had 106 lessons and it took me 20months but I passed first time. I drove for about a year after passing my test and then realised that the anxiety I felt for an hour every time before I got in the car was not worth it. I walk and bus everywhere and people think I should put my anxiety behind me and just do it. Weirdly I am not an anxious person in general just when it comes to driving. I don't have very good co ordination and think I am probably dyspraxia. I did try again about 10 years ago but started hyperventilating before even turning the key. I have thought about having hypnotherapy but I really enjoy walking everywhere and with careful planning and time management I dont need to drive.

Mabelface · 07/02/2021 19:09

I don't want to drive nor have the expense of a car. I rely on my legs and public transport. My partner drives, but I have no expectations of him as a free taxi driver.

TedMullins · 07/02/2021 19:10

Oh and I’m single so I don’t get ferried about by a partner, I live in London (a choice I made for my career but also the public transport) so most of my friends don’t have cars so I don’t rely on them for lifts, and if I visit people outside London I always get myself there on public transport and a taxi/Uber if necessary. I also don’t drink so don’t expect to take advantage of it on nights out. Not all non drivers expect favours all the time

Original poster

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 19:10

@MrsWhistledown my husband hates to be a passenger so even if I did drive it would be stressful for him .

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GoldenOmber · 07/02/2021 19:10

I don’t drive (medical reasons). It’s fine. I don’t rely on anyone for lifts, DH included, and I’ve always chosen to live in places where I don’t need a car to get myself around.

People are weird about it though. I think it’s such a fundamental part of many people’s lives that they can’t work out how someone else could possibly function without - it’s like saying “I don’t wear shoes”, they just get all baffled.