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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What my manager said?

256 replies

Dipsandcrisps · 05/02/2021 02:27

I have gone back to work (off maternity leave) this week and have been told that i cannot work from home unless I put my baby in a nursery, no nursery local to me is taking on any new children and with lockdown they have limited slots as it is. My manager has said I need to go part time (husband is home part of the week and can watch baby) as I cannot work at home if there is no one else there to watch the baby?

Aibu in thinking this would be the norm in pre-covid times and currently a lot of parents are working at home with children in their care? Obviously if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic my baby would be in a nursery before I went back to work..

So confused with where I stand?

OP posts:
GappyValley · 06/02/2021 18:20

Sorry, that was supposed to be quoting @DicklessWonder post
‘He was disciplined for it and the sanction was a deduction of salary for all those Fridays that he had brought his baby to work (they checked the CCTV). He was very lucky he didn’t lose his job for fraud.’

Absolute horse 💩

DicklessWonder · 06/02/2021 18:26

@GappyValley

Wtf?! That’s not fraud, what absolute nonsense

And it wouldn’t be legal for his pay to be docked either

Either someone has been telling you porkies, or this story has been exaggerated

I was the Head of HR and sat in the hearing. But sure, it’s 💩

It was his union rep who suggested the deduction of pay - totally legal when the individual agrees.

And it was fraud because he had claimed to be working when he wasn’t. Same as fiddling overtime or expenses. He lied. Repeatedly. Took money for work he wasn’t doing. And risked bringing a baby into an environment not suitable for a baby.

pomers · 06/02/2021 18:27

If you work for the LA are you in Unison? Contact them for advice, I feel there could be discrimination here. If colleagues wfh children you should be able to as well, your manager doesn’t get to specify what ages children should be in order to wfh. You should be able to trial it and review

MissMarpleDarling · 06/02/2021 18:40

Yabu op

Incrediblytired · 06/02/2021 18:43

Hi I work for a local authority too. I wouldn’t give up too quickly.

Are you a keyworker? If so they should be able to help you identify childcare. If you aren’t, others will be in a similar position with schools etc closed - have they all been asked to go part time too? Or are you being discriminated against because you’re returning from maternity leave?

Are you in a union?

Have you spoken to HR?

Is there an option of using some leave for a few months whilst you continue to seek childcare?

Incrediblytired · 06/02/2021 18:53

By the way I’m a local authority social worker and I absolutely think you are being singled out here. Everyone is working at home with their kids and loads of people have even turned down school and childcare places because they are worried about catching covid.

Incrediblytired · 06/02/2021 18:53

Seriously put it on them and ask them to identify a place for your child as you are a keyworker.

Incrediblytired · 06/02/2021 18:57

Plus you should def be able to work flexibly - check your local authority parents policy - there will be all sorts of stuff about supporting families with flexible working. You could do compressed hours or do your notes anytime!

HereWeGoAgain33 · 06/02/2021 19:02

My contract says if an employee works from home at any point, they must not be looking after a child at the same time, and they must find adequate childcare during their contracted hours. Isn't that normal?

GappyValley · 06/02/2021 19:05

@HereWeGoAgain33

My contract says if an employee works from home at any point, they must not be looking after a child at the same time, and they must find adequate childcare during their contracted hours. Isn't that normal?
Yes of course that’s normal. But it doesn’t take a genius to work out it isn’t exactly normal times at the moment... Many nurseries are on reduced hours or not taking on new children, and the ones that are open find themselves having to close for 10 days isolation at the drop of a hat.

OP quite clearly isn’t expecting this to be a long term arrangement but it is barmy to think access to childcare is normal at the moment, and any employer with half a brain cell is being flexible

Incrediblytired · 06/02/2021 19:06

OP don’t assume your manager knows what they are talking about!

roxanne119 · 06/02/2021 19:30

Can you employ a childminder ? Until you can use a nursery or just use a childminder they have some very good ones don’t know where you live but they are able to work the hours you need and there would be no reason for you to work pt 😊

Yellowfish2020 · 06/02/2021 19:35

OP, i would have felt like you did. At my work lots of people have kids (all ages) at home. As long as people are able to get the work done, their only concern is people are coping ok. Where the work is suffering they have moved peoples shifts/weekly hours to accommodate. As a big company, they would have no idea about peoples home set up and would only get involved if an issue was flagged. Peoples responses make me realise how lucky I am.

BaliB1 · 06/02/2021 19:46

OP please call ACAS or speak to your union. They can’t make you work part time on the basis of your return from maternity leave or being a parent. Have a look at protected characterises because I think maternity would cover you.
As for the first few posts you’ve received on here I’m aghast at the lack of support from other women. You’ve been put in a difficult situation by a pandemic, it’s not your fault at all, lots of women are in this situation.

Yorkie127 · 06/02/2021 20:08

If I was your manager I would let you work flexibly (including reduced hours on full pay) provided you were absolutely committed to finding childcare to cover all working hours as quickly as possible.

Rupertbeartrousers · 06/02/2021 20:19

@Incrediblytired

Hi I work for a local authority too. I wouldn’t give up too quickly.

Are you a keyworker? If so they should be able to help you identify childcare. If you aren’t, others will be in a similar position with schools etc closed - have they all been asked to go part time too? Or are you being discriminated against because you’re returning from maternity leave?

Are you in a union?

Have you spoken to HR?

Is there an option of using some leave for a few months whilst you continue to seek childcare?

Good advice on this post

Other suggestion is a Norland nanny student?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/02/2021 20:23

@Yorkie127

If I was your manager I would let you work flexibly (including reduced hours on full pay) provided you were absolutely committed to finding childcare to cover all working hours as quickly as possible.
That’s really waffley and indistinct define quickly as possible Full pay for reduced hours,Fundamentally unfair to other parents who pay childcare, and work contracted hours
Porridgeoat · 06/02/2021 20:26

Work a half day on the days you have the baby so 7:30-11

Familyshopper · 06/02/2021 20:51

Working from home isn’t an alternative to child care if you work from hone you shouldn’t and couldn’t look after a child

Yorkie127 · 06/02/2021 21:13

Thanks for the critique @HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

There's no value in defining 'as quickly as possibly' here. I would agree a date with my employee/team member, depending on the circumstances and what is possible, given the limitations.

As for being unfair, I disagree. We have a range of flexible working arrangements, all different for different people, agreed on an individual basis, particularly during the pandemic. Fairness isn't treating everything the same.

I think we may have different management styles!

grassisjeweled · 06/02/2021 21:31

You should've just lied and said you're mother was having her

Topsyturveymam · 06/02/2021 21:34

In other times this wouldn’t be acceptable to work and look after your child. You would rightly be expected to get childcare.
However, I think covid is stopping you from getting adequate childcare. If I read the situation correctly.
So like all other parents you are having to manage childcare and work through no fault of your own.
I have a 6 year old that I’m having to ‘home school’ while I work full time. He takes up a huge amount of my attention and I can’t work as I used to...so have to pick up the work in the evening. It’s exhausting and I can imagine this bring so, so much harder with a baby. How are you going to balance the demands of a baby and work?
To be honest in your position, I’d take the part time offer to reduce the work pressure.

Iamthewombat · 06/02/2021 22:11

You should've just lied and said you're mother was having her

Yeah, because there’s no way the OP would be found out, is there? It’s not as if her work might suffer or anything like that.

To say nothing of making life worse for other working mothers who behave responsibly and play by the rules. It doesn’t take many people taking the mick for colleagues to form a view that all mothers with children asking to work from home are in fact pretending to work whilst caring for children. Isn’t life difficult enough for working mothers of small children?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/02/2021 22:14

@grassisjeweled

You should've just lied and said you're mother was having her
And when it’s found out to not be true?when she’s potentially facing a disciplinary
MyGazeboisLeaking · 06/02/2021 22:37

Is everyone forgetting we have a PANDEMIC here?

Of course OP would have a nursery place sorted in normal times, but these aren't normal times, are they,

OP - speak to your HR Team. Don't make any permanent changes and ask for support. I doubt the LA are making parents of school aged children go part time whilst schools are closed.