What my manager said?

[Dipsandcrisps]

I have gone back to work (off maternity leave) this week and have been told that i cannot work from home unless I put my baby in a nursery, no nursery local to me is taking on any new children and with lockdown they have limited slots as it is. My manager has said I need to go part time (husband is home part of the week and can watch baby) as I cannot work at home if there is no one else there to watch the baby?

Aibu in thinking this would be the norm in pre-covid times and currently a lot of parents are working at home with children in their care? Obviously if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic my baby would be in a nursery before I went back to work..

So confused with where I stand?

An employee cannot insist on being furloughed and to claim otherwise is misleading in the extreme.

A lot of the advice on here is simply wrong. The law is the law as it is ,not what people think it should be

OP i don't think you have the right to work at home ,but for proper advice speak to ACAS

Employees that need to look after children can be furloughed. It is for the employer to decide whether to offer to furlough an employee.

You can ask for flexible furlough, in which you work your normal hours some of the time.
This can work for any type of shift pattern for any amount of time, meaning you could take it for just one day a week if you need it for childcare, for example. In this case, you would be paid your normal wage for the hours you work and 80% for the hours you are furloughed.

If you can't be furloughed there are other options when it comes to childcare. By law, employees have the right to take time off work to help someone who depends on them in an unexpected event.
However, you DON'T have a legal right to be paid for this time, though some employers may offer paid time off in this situation depending on your contract or your workplace's policy.

There's no official limit on how much time you're allowed to take off. It just must be "reasonable" for the situation.

I think it would be fair enough to ask for some evidence that you have indeed tried every avenue possible for childcare including childminders.

Sadly some parents have used the situation to cut down on childcare costs and I can understand that companies are reluctant to say no.

Ultimately, they might still be situations after lockdown when parents can't source childcare on time. Companies can't be expected to become social employers and allow less than perfect conditions just because of their staff have personal issues.

Saying that if you can show that every single childcare provider has turned you down, I think what you are suggesting, on the basis that it is to last oy until the end of lockdown is not that unreasonable.

I’ve not read the full thread but if you have no childcare options and your employer is telling you that you can’t work from home when you have the baby (when your DP isn’t home off work) then your employer should furlough you part time.
There is no "should" about it. They can if they wish but they don't have to. Employers now have to make a contribution to furlough so they will still be worse off if they furlough you.
It's worth bearing in mind that companies come in all shapes and sizes and may not actually be in a financial position to even contribute to furloughing staff.

I think I would lie to them and say you have childcare if they won't furlough you. What else can you do? It's their fault for being so shit towards you

Whatever you do, OP, don't lie.

If your employer finds out you'd be in a very tricky position and your ability to negotiate to your favour in future would be compromised by the last of trust. You might be asked to come into the office, attend a Teams meeting on video, answer a telephone call, etc... it's impossible to hide the fact you're looking after a baby/child while doing these things (trust me, this is coming from someone who had to call a very amused company president while trying to keep an 18 month old quiet last year... absolutely fine as he knew the situation, but it would have been frowned upon if I had tried to hide it)!

• lack of trust!

If you’re considering going part time in a. Different job, why not temporarily part time in this one? You can ask for compressed hours over 3 days - which would possibly equate to 4 days FTE, therefore only lose 1 day’s pay. Meanwhile you need to be looking for a nursery place - or childminder - for the 2 remaining days. You never know, it may be that you could end up working 4 days compressed hours which means you’ll end up being paid full time pay and still get to spend 1 day with your baby.

What a croc, it’s far easier managing a baby while working than older kids.

My world have been the same since lockdown the expectation i can work from home and look after a baby is ridiculous but what choice is there when nurseries are closed.

Are you in the UK? Can you be asked to be furloughed?

@alicemck twice ive been on a call and my 1year old has climbed stairs and countless times nearly hurt herself as im unable to take a call while in same room as her. A baby is impossible to look after while wfh.

@Dipsandcrisps

Hello all, sorry I was asleep I just woke up to use the bathroom and came on for a sneak peek on the answers,

I will try to answer all the questions. I should have given a more detailed OP but was a little tired at the time and should have probably made this post during the day.

Whilst I was pregnant and due to give birth I did sign up my baby for a local nursery that came recommended, during the pandemic I received a call from them to ask if I still wanted the place and I told them I do. In November I reached out to them to arrange some settling in sessions in January and they agreed. Then lockdown happened and they have had a few workers that have left so their capacity changed (it’s not a very big nursery) toward the end of December i rang to ask them if I can arrange the settling in sessions and they said they can no longer accommodate my baby as they were at capacity. I then rang the 5 other nurseries in my area and they said the same i put my name down at each of the nurseries on the waiting lists.

Now to give context to the week my partners job has been affected due to covid and he is at hone 3 days of the week (not working) and the other two he has to be in the office ( cannot WFH) these two days are the ones I would like to work from home as if I went part time we would struggle massively. My nursery fees for 8-10 days a month would only amount to between £320-£400 but if I worked 3 day weeks I would be losing out over £1000 a month.

My baby is 9 months old and she is not mobile and plays quite happily in her play pen on the floor and watches baby tv for 1 hour of the day. My husbands working hours are 7-3 and he is usually home for 3.15 (his work place is a 15 minute walk from our house).

My baby’s routine during the day is (it’s a late routine and that’s due to us following her natural pattern of sleep we were wanting to change this routine but as she’s not in nursery we haven’t).

She sleeps from 11pm to 11am, I start work at 8.30 I could log on and then take half an hour break when she wakes and get her fed and changed then I could sit in the same room as her while she plays or watches tv in her play pen, she has a nap at 1.30 for two hours I would take another break at 1pm to settle her to sleep (we get 1 hour for lunch) then by the time baby wakes my partner would be home and take over until i finished probably taking the baby for a walk or to the playground.

I am not wanting this to be a long term solution just until lockdown lifts or the nursery staff manage to recruit a worker. I know my baby will grow and her routine will change and I’m willing to work late if I don’t get enough done during the day, I just feel I’m being made (by my manager) to feel like I have to go part time. I’m confused as to where i stand and I will speak to HR in non-covid times my baby would have been in nursery before I went back to work but that’s not been possible but why is it normal logic is being applied to a not normal situation.

My manager can see when I am online and offline and I don’t plan on taking the piss at all I take pride in working hard for my money and I actually enjoy my job but I feel backed into a corner and wanted to check my options .

Hi OP - I was one of the early responders and feel I was unduly harsh given your update and how stressful it must be to be going back to work in these conditions.

I can see how you feel you can work from home as a temporary measure- but baby’s routine can change very suddenly.

If I was you I would look into asking about changing your hours to long days on the 3 days your husband is home (I.e.8am-8pm) and then short days when he’s working (I.e. 7am-11am while baby is sleeping). Do you think your employer would consider that even for a temporary trial period?

I hope it all works out for you without having to lose income.

This is so unfair. I've returned to work in the past few months and my (male) manager raised no issue. I work as much as I can, I am getting things done, yes it is a pain to try and do that AND look after a baby AND homeschool, but why should you lose out because you had a baby?

It helps that my male manager has four young kids, including a baby months younger than my own though....

@AliceMcK

What a croc, it’s far easier managing a baby while working than older kids.

I think that depends on the baby ans the older kids.

@rosegold33

My world have been the same since lockdown the expectation i can work from home and look after a baby is ridiculous but what choice is there when nurseries are closed.

Are you in the UK? Can you be asked to be furloughed?

@rosegold33 isn’t the point that OP’s employer have the opposite expectation? They are saying that she can’t work from home and look after a baby.

@HaveringWavering sorry was skim reading. Yes youre right.

OP would employer consider going with your option of wfh and they can assess if its working or not after a few weeks.

Also someone mentioned getting a teenager to help. I would definitely second this- contact any local colleges that have childcare courses and ask if they could circulate a Java navy on your behalf to recent leavers looking for work. Or see whether there’s any current students who are available to look after your baby part time on the two days you are working.

*circulate a vacancy on your behalf

It is a shame your work is being unsupportive. My team have been working from home since July. I have two single mums in my team and they frequently work in the evening to get their work done. To me, as long is the work is getting done I don’t care when they do it.
Also it works both ways, if they supported you I sure you would do more than expected for them. I’d look for a new job

I think it's absolutely fair for your manager to expect you to give your job 100% attention, which you cannot do while caring for a baby.

I am due to go back to work at the start of April, I think your manager is being reasonable, you can’t do both things.

Can you look into childminders?

I think it’s standard procedure when someone wants to return to work after having a baby to ask about the childcare arrangements...that was before Covid and has probably just carried on.

If they are paying you, you need to expect to focus fully on the job. Babies and toddlers, however well behaved and in Routines will require attention and unless your working hours can be flexed around them, you cannot carry out your job in rigid hours when a small child is around, without it impacting your work.

I am surprised how many people think it is their right to choose what to do and that their employer should just suck up sub-standard work because of the baby.

This is all the standard time stuff. But I can see that employers of current workers have had to accept all kinds of things during Covid. Lots have offers flexible hours....so the worker looks after kids or hi e schools and parents make up the hours later in the evening. That seems a good option but doesn’t work for all jobs.

I guess you feel that you are being treated differently as a returning to work mum, compared to mums who have been at work through Covid. You feel you are being treated as per the pre-Covid policy and not how parents are treated during Covid. You could ask if that is the case.

I feel a lot better reading this thread - a few years ago I refused someone's request to work from home because they announced it was easier/cheaper than a nursery and coming in to the office. (and told the rest of the team that was what she was going to be boing before she'd even asked)
I was made to feel really mean for refusing, but felt she was either taking care of the baby or working. (she also expected me to pay for twice weekly couriers to ferry paperwork back and forth )

Check out pregnant then screwed for employment advice.
instagram.com/pregnant_then_screwed?igshid=19e12g8axbfxd

Contact pregnant then screwed. It sounds like it's fine for every other parent working for your employer but not you.
So discrimination.

I used to work for a massive UK and international company. We were home based

We were not allowed to ahem children under 11 in the house whilst working without another adult present as they were not insured. We had to sign annual declarations that we understood this was immediate dismissal.