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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty as I’ve had the Covid vaccination!

299 replies

DottyDonut · 04/02/2021 18:22

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently Angry. She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

OP posts:
Brunt0n · 04/02/2021 19:59

You would have been an idiot to turn it down. Ignore them, they sound horrid

fucknuckle · 04/02/2021 19:59

i booked my jab after the thread on here - i’m on the CEV list but had t heard anything. i had it on tuesday.

today i have had 3 texts from my GP surgery - one offering me the chance to book, one then saying please book, and then one today saying they were open for walk-ins and i could just turn up.

the more people vaccinated the better things will be. it’s the only valid way back to some sort of freedom and nobody should feel guilty for taking a jab that’s been offered to them.

KatherineOfAragon · 04/02/2021 19:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Mrsjayy · 04/02/2021 20:02

My sister got it because of her job and I noticed a few of her FB friends being a bit weird about it, vaccine envy must be a thingConfused

NoIDontLikeTrains · 04/02/2021 20:02

pensive — if people who need to stay with the person they're caring for feel judged by someone saying that they didn't accompany the person they care for because of the risk to themselves and others, then that's a bit fucking stupid isn't it? Why look for insults where they don't exist? My partner doesn't need me with him while he's being vaccinated. Some people do need somebody physically with them. One situation says nothing about the other. I said nothing about whether anyone else who was accompanied should've gone in alone; that's a judgement for them to make based on their needs.

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 20:03

If it helps anyone, before I was offered the vaccine I had decided to not be overly invested in it.

There are risks with the vaccine (allergies, reactions, research limitations etc) and I had decided if I didn't get it for some reason I was going to believe that it was for my benefit because there is risk in having it as well as not having it. I decided to only make a decision based on how I felt when it was offered not beforehand.

But then I have negotiated my way through highly risky cancer treatments so I appreciate I have a somewhat different perception of risk compared to other people.

SavannahMiasMum · 04/02/2021 20:03

Jealousy will always come out

louisejxxx · 04/02/2021 20:04

YANBU - you did nothing wrong at all, and they are just jealous that the opportunity hasn’t arisen for them! I’d be interested to know if they would decline if they got a call from their local drs surgery saying they had spares and could they come down short notice. Me thinks they’d jump at the chance!

peak2021 · 04/02/2021 20:04

Horrible response from your sister, OP. Who'd want a vaccine to go to waste?

MrsExpo · 04/02/2021 20:05

No condemnation from me. Taking my DH (over 70) to a late Saturday afternoon appointment this weekend, and am going to ask if I (67) can have mine too. They may have had some no shows ..... surely it’s better to use up the vaccine than chuck it out because people haven’t turned up.

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 20:06

that's a bit fucking stupid isn't it?

🤷‍♀️ But everyone is a bit like this, one time or another...I made my comment simply because people get upset and it might help.

NoIDontLikeTrains · 04/02/2021 20:06

Your comment was fine pensive.

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 04/02/2021 20:07

You did the right thing OP, congratulations on having your vaccine! You have a child who is CEV, protecting yourself helps to protect him. Also, hardly like you barged in and demanded the vaccine, you were offered it and like most people kindly accepted the offer.

I work as a covid vaccinator and believe me, we're grateful for people like you who are happy to take a spare dose. We have a policy of zero wastage so genuinely have to run around trying to find people to vaccinate last minute if way have any spares, so in that regard you did us a favour!!

Vaccine jealousy is a real thing right now. I understand, as people are very stressed, but I have had patient's accuse me of skipping the line as I'm "only 26" and don't need it as much as some people.

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 20:07

@NoIDontLikeTrains thanks.Smile

TheWordWomanIsTaken · 04/02/2021 20:08

@pensivepigeon

But I can't help feel a bit miffed that I have to wait another two weeks. Surely they are only spare if everyone that was scheduled to have one that day has had one?

I get you. But that is the organiser's faults not the patient's, surely?

Oh I don't disagree, I thought I had made that clear.
But it doesn't distract from the fact that there was no vaccine left for me and my pre-arranged appointment!!! And, er, I was a 'patient' as well. So I have to wait another two weeks. It absolutely is the organiser's fault - there can surely only be spares if everyone that was due to have one that day has had it. How can they have given 'mine' away before my appointment slot? And then let me travel all the way there to be sent home. Anyway, it's happened and I can't undo it. But it will be a brave person that tells me there are no vaccines left when I go back in two weeks time because of walk-ins. But in case it isn't clear - I think the OP is NBU
happygolurkey · 04/02/2021 20:08

I'm grateful to you OP - and to everyone who has accepted a vaccine so far. every single person accepting one is contributing to making everything safer for us all. it would have been utterly selfish to refuse. You should be proud of yourself. Ignore the jibes.

DenisetheMenace · 04/02/2021 20:08

IDKNABYBIF22

@DenisetheMenace

"I’m surprised all those working day in day out to vaccinate others aren’t being vaccinated as policy anyway."

They are; volunteers in vaccine centres are in priority group 2 as they come under the category of being front line health and social care workers.”

Good, very pleased to hear it.

Imapotato · 04/02/2021 20:10

You did nothing wrong. People who think you have done something wrong are idiots and not worth worrying about.

MrsSugar · 04/02/2021 20:10

That’s terrible. You should have told her to get fucked. You’ve done nothing wrong.honestly who do folk think they r these days !!!

NoIDontLikeTrains · 04/02/2021 20:12

Thing is, it'll actually make no significant difference to me when I get my first shot, as we'll need to continue shielding until after DP's second one has taken effect, so I don't mind too much when it is. I know it delays the second one, but I've a feeling vaccine schedules may end up not being set in stone anyway.
What I mind is snippy comments from vaccinators making my anxious DP feel bad for asking a reasonable question, and assumptions spreading through the community that carers are all being vaccinated at the same time as those they care for.

Wanderlust20 · 04/02/2021 20:14

I'd said you're actually doubly protecting your child by getting it, tell them to sod off! Would they rather it went to waste because I've sadly heard of that from friends in the NHS Confused

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 20:15

What I mind is snippy comments from vaccinators making my anxious DP feel bad for asking a reasonable question, and assumptions spreading through the community that carers are all being vaccinated at the same time as those they care for.

Yes, that would irritate me. A lot of them are volunteers drafted in with a relatively quick turnaround, though. Maybe that one could have done with better/more training? Maybe also they have been irritated by the question when they might not have the autonomy to make that particular decision themselves. I think there has been some hasty policy making recently.

Runmybathforme · 04/02/2021 20:16

Each dose out of the vial is accounted for , they don’t waste a single dose, so, if it looks like they’ll have some over at the end of the day, they’ll give it to anyone who wants it. Ignore the idiots.

thosetalesofunexpected · 04/02/2021 20:17

@DottyDonut

Your sister and sister in Law are just simply envious as hell .

I bet if they were in the same/similar situation as you Op
There's no way they would turn down the opportunity of having this vaccine !
I am really glad that as a carer looking after vulnerable child.!
You both deserve this vaccine as a priority op.
Don't feel guilty whatsoever !

HelloCanYouHearMe · 04/02/2021 20:18

Tell her to fuck off OP.

It was offered, you accepted.

You haven't jumped the queue, no-one missed out because you got there first - it would have been poured away had you not have taken it.. That is what people should get angry about... The wasted doses

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