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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Made to feel guilty as I’ve had the Covid vaccination!

299 replies

DottyDonut · 04/02/2021 18:22

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently . She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

OP posts:

Quaagars · 05/02/2021 00:50

@MixedUpFiles

Not a single vial should be wasted. I don’t care if they start running down the street and offering it to people. If there are leftover vials, they need to find recipients.

Completely agree

MessAllOver · 05/02/2021 01:27

This has probably been said but it was you or the bin. Ask them why they would have preferred the vaccine to go in the bin.

Also, you are so, so important to your DD. Are they going to step up and care for her if anything happens to you? Probably not. So don't feel guilty for getting the vaccine. I'm a complete stranger and I'm very pleased you've had it for both your sake and your DD's.

marshmallowfluffy · 05/02/2021 01:31

You should not feel guilty. It's better than the vaccine going to waste and you sound like somebody who needs one sooner rather than later.

pumpkinbump · 05/02/2021 01:37

Obviously it would have been better to waste it and chuck it in the bin. Just where does the SIL get off messaging you? Cheeky cow!

Chloemol · 05/02/2021 01:42

You did nothing wrong. Just block the lot of them

Colorindex · 05/02/2021 09:16

I think there’s going to be more of this resentment as the vaccine starts being given to the under 70s

tigger1001 · 05/02/2021 09:28

You did the right thing. Otherwise it was possible the vaccine would have been wasted.

They are just being very nasty. I would be tempted to block them. Not worth the contact if they are this nasty

Frazzled2207 · 05/02/2021 09:33

Also. It frees up an appointment for someone further down the line.
There is going to be far more of this though sadly. At least “age” as a reason to have the vaccine is pretty clear cut. As key workers get called up that system will be far easier to abuse.

LilMidge01 · 05/02/2021 10:07

Same thing happened with my mum- she had to accompany my dad to get his as he has COPD and struggles to be on his feet for a long time without support/walk far (there's also a 10 year age gap so she wouldn't be due for a while). She was not expecting to get it herself but they had excess and also made the point 'why make you make a total of 4 trips across a busy city, exposing you even more, when you can make 2'?

I'm glad you have gotten the vaccine. You have nothing to feel guilty for as you weren't trying to 'beat the system'- medical staff offered you one. And so many spares could be going to waste. I hope you both stay safe and get your second jabs. Good luck.

LadyMayoGoodway · 05/02/2021 10:12

In a wider context I do think people are getting overly het up and judgemental about it, spoke to a friend last week who’s in place that’s a bit slow, they were worried her 88 DFIL hadn’t been offered it, but then about 2 wks ago she put a post on FB of him queuing for it, obvs I commented how great it was and when we Zoomed at the wknd I said as much personally, I then dropped into the convo that my Dad had his a couple of days ago (he’s 72 but in place that’s going good guns). She instantly got very bristly about this and was like ‘oh really’ and looked very indignant I was like yes they’re into the 70’s now in lots of places. All I got was ‘well how old is your Dad.’ Well in his 70’s, which you flaming know. Errr naff off, you’re not keeper of the bloody jabs and her vulnerable family member had been done so no idea why she was being a dick 🤷‍♀️.

Then last night another very very good friend who is normally v easy going and pragmatic put a post on with a picture of her Dad’s jab booking conf for next week. Sent her a PM saying how wonderful and she must feel like a small weight lifted etc. then dropped in my Dad had had his at the end of last week. She also sent me quite a snipey curt message back - very out of character. Don’t know what’s wrong with some people. I’ve not blasted it all over social media either as know it’s potentially contentious with different areas going at different rates.

Frazzled2207 · 05/02/2021 10:19

@Frazzled2207

Also. It frees up an appointment for someone further down the line. There is going to be far more of this though sadly. At least “age” as a reason to have the vaccine is pretty clear cut. As key workers get called up that system will be far easier to abuse.

Just to clarify I don’t mean to insinuate that op is abusing the system. She def is not.

Oblomov21 · 05/02/2021 10:30

I too am a 'queue jumper'. I was offered it. Why would I say no?
Agree, ask if she'd rather they were thrown away?

VapeVamp12 · 05/02/2021 10:34

This is quite common. It takes a lot less time to explain the vaccine once to two people and then give them both the jab than have everyone having it individually. Some of my parents friends have had it at the same times as their slightly older partners because they were offered it.

Surely your SIL can see its better to vaccinate as many people as possible and avoid any wastage?!

Zoomies06 · 05/02/2021 10:54

Op you did nothing wrong she is just a nasty bitch .There was a spare vaccine and you were offered it and you accepted as she would have done if she was In the same position. And I say that as someone who is ecv and having mine next week. It wouldn't have bothered me I rather that than it go to waste .

Colorindex · 05/02/2021 11:03

We all need to be vaccinated as quickly and efficiently as possible, some people don’t seem to realise this. It’s not 100% protection so as many adults as possible need to get a jab and in other countries too, not just the U.K. until then none of us are ‘safe’...

CaptainSirTomMooreismyhero · 05/02/2021 11:07

You did nothing wrong. Even if it wouldn't have gone to waste, you were there, what would happen to your CEV child if you became hospitalised with Covid?

Whatever way her SIL contacted you, block it so they cannot contact you again. If they are nasty anyway, just have no contact in future.

What did you say to your sister when she says it wasn't fair? Did you ask if she'll look after your child if you are ill? I would also have told her that envy/jealousy is a very ugly trait.

Serendipity79 · 05/02/2021 11:35

I've been genuinely upset by peoples attitude to the vaccination programme. Its widely known that leftovers at the end of each day are being given to people who probably wouldn't be top of the list, but ultimately we all need to have it and it would be an absolute travesty to be pouring vaccine down a sink because there wasn't an 80 year old handy when you needed one.

Their attitude towards you is horrible. Just horrible. :(

thelongwayhome · 05/02/2021 11:38

My local pharmacy vaccination centre had one evening last week where they asked people to call and make a slot appointment because they had a surplus due to people not turning up and needed to shift it before the next shipment arrived. People also just showed up and were given it. No ones jumping the queue if the vaccines would be thrown away otherwise

TubeOfSmarties · 05/02/2021 11:45

You did nothing wrong, the vaccination centre did the right thing offering it to you rather than wasting a dose, and if you have a vulnerable child then it’s got to be a good thing for you to have the vaccine. Your sister isn’t going to get the vaccine any quicker or slower because you’ve had it or not

pointythings · 05/02/2021 12:55

You did the right thing. All our vaccinators have been informed that if a vial is coming to the end of its time, they should offer available doses to carers of the people they are seeing (older adults housebound in the community). Preventing vaccine wastage is incredibly important.

I had mine 2 weeks ago - I'm NHS but not frontline, working from home. But without the non-frontline people staying well, the rest of the system won't work so I feel no guilt.

twoshedsjackson · 05/02/2021 13:39

I had my vaccination at short notice; I got a phone call, was able to get there quickly, and I'm grateful! (Only early seventies, but other conditions which I guess put me up on my GP's radar.) If the alternative is throwing vaccine away, who benefits from that? Now waiting for second dose...

Mumisnotmyonlyname · 05/02/2021 14:01

You weren't wrong. And you must see that that they would have jumped at it themselves. Their argument should not be with you, anyway, if they disagree with the strategy. It's just jealous bullying and says a lot about them.

Jux · 19/02/2021 09:35

Mine's this morning; I'm strangely excited!

I wasn't expecting to have it for some time yet, I've two conditions which do make me more vulnerable but not THAT vulnerable, and I'm only in my early 60s. I've n o idea why they've called me now, but I'm very pleased they have. I've had less than a week's notice and it's not at my normal surgery - it's not even in my town! I don't feel guilty, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I'm just happy to be having it.

FOJN · 19/02/2021 09:41

You did nothing wrong.

No one can make you feel anything unless you let them. Have some boundaries, her spiteful behaviour is not your problem, rise above it and ignore, do not engage in trying to justify yourself, it won't satisfy her so why even try.

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