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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty as I’ve had the Covid vaccination!

299 replies

DottyDonut · 04/02/2021 18:22

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently Angry. She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

OP posts:
QueenOfTheDoubleWide · 04/02/2021 18:32

I work in a surgery and we are encouraging people accompanying the vulnerable or elderly to take the extra doses as it helps protect them and saves wasting them
I would just message back "Would you sooner they were thrown away?" because that is what would happen if people weren't found. Our receptionists work really hard ringing carers and others from priority groups to see if they can come in later in the clinics but they are also doing their normal surgery jobs so it's easier to find people on the spot.

On the other hand, what a nasty pair they are! They should be supportive considering your situation

Dollywilde · 04/02/2021 18:33

Absolutely don’t feel guilty. My sister is NHS admin and lives 5 mins from the hospital she works in (she’s wfh at the moment though). She had a call last Friday at 4.30pm, could she get there by 5pm as they had a bunch of vaccines they that needed to be used up due to no shows? She called me and was agonising about it because our dad is shielding and she felt awful getting a jab before him. I told her not to be daft and get her arse up there! She did and I’m so pleased. Yanbu at all, if you’re offered one, take it. It’s the only responsible thing to have done.

Godimabitch · 04/02/2021 18:33

Not like you turned up and demanded it. They had some going to waste skin offered you one. Perfectly reasonable. Your sister's just being jealous and bitter.

Coldwinterahead1 · 04/02/2021 18:33

She sounds unhinged. Some people never fail to surprise me. I'm pleased you have had it, I think all carers of CEV people should have it at the same time as the person they are caring for x

FatCatThinCat · 04/02/2021 18:34

Ignore her, she's just jealous. If she'd been there and been offered it she'd have taken it too.

ChristmasCovid · 04/02/2021 18:34

They’re being completely unreasonable!
Ignore them, do you think they’d have refused it if roles reversed?...

nether · 04/02/2021 18:34

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

Depending on the reason for being CEV, it is possible the person might have a suboptimal response to the vaccine (not yet known, but being studied)

So to buttress protection round those who are so vulnerable, MHRA in its first draft put cohabitatants of CEV into priority 6 (just like they qualify for flu jabs). That has been suspended, pending more information on how much the vaccines prevent transmission. But relevant charities are lobbying hard for it to be reinstated, especially since JVT said it was close to inconceivable that there was no such effect.

So lucky you to get an end-of-day jab, and I really hope the suspension is reversed so more CEV people get this layer of protection too

boymum9 · 04/02/2021 18:36

Take no notice! I don't understand people's thought processes like this! Glad you and your son both got it.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 04/02/2021 18:37

@Dogonahottinroof has your DH tried booking on the Gov.uk site? If he's ECV then he may well be able to get an appointment even if he hasn't been contacted.

Shrivelled · 04/02/2021 18:37

Carer’s of CEV are being offered it as well, you haven’t jumped the queue at all.

MissMarpleDarling · 04/02/2021 18:38

Not one of us would have turned it down OP x

WhatKatyDidNxt · 04/02/2021 18:39

Jealousy is so ugly. You did completely the right thing. It’s hardly as if you rocked up there shouting the odds and pushing yourself to the front of the queue. Wasting it would have been way worse.

My cousin has had the vaccine, she’s in a vulnerable category and so is her husband. Some random on Facebook was making sly digs about it to her Hmm. Ok yes her parents are friends with the doctor who runs the practice but both my cousin and her husband definitely meet the criteria (lm a nurse and they’ve told me their diagnoses). The random clearly doesn’t know my cousin that well and there is no need to judge anyone

Mittens030869 · 04/02/2021 18:41

YANBU at all. Of course you accepted the vaccine, why wouldn’t you? It would only have gone to waste otherwise.

saraclara · 04/02/2021 18:41

No-one would turn it down.

But I would recommend that people who get it early for any reason shouldn't tell anyone. People are so stressed and hyped up at the moment, that it's rarely going to end well.

If they continue to pester, simply tell them that they gave you a spare one for your vulnerable son's sake, because the first vaccine isn't enough on its own, and his carer being vaccinated as well gives him less chance of being infected.

LolaSmiles · 04/02/2021 18:41

YANBU
Some people are so wrapped up in themselves that they would rather the vaccine went in the bin than to someone else.

Just ignore her. It's the same sort of mentality that's held by those who bitch about discounts for NHS staff. It's all 'but me me me'

newstart1234 · 04/02/2021 18:42

Ignore them. You did the right thing.

islockdownoveryet · 04/02/2021 18:44

Oh ffs , I too must be a queue jumper then .
I took my ds yesterday too because he’s classed as vulnerable and they offered it to me too .
Tbh I’ve been told I should get it soon anyway because I’m a classed as a carer for my son .
I actually can’t believe that someone would say that to you op .
My dd has volunteered at the clinic and any leftover they can have it , are they queue jumpers too ? . [confused

NichyNoo · 04/02/2021 18:45

Don’t feel guilty. I know quite a few people in their 30s and 40s who have had a vaccination either from being in the right place at the right time or because they’re NHS admin (despite working from home).

Bootskates · 04/02/2021 18:46

I would be asking her who she thinks is going to give your son any care he needs if you are struck down with the virus. Is she volunteering?

Agree with pp that carers of the vulnerable should be vaccinated as early as poss.

Don't feel guilty you have done nothing wrong Flowers

MagnoliaBeige · 04/02/2021 18:46

You did nothing wrong and she’s a nasty person. I’d reply “It’s not a case of being proud, it’s a case of being relieved I’m now less risk of passing on Covid to my son. You seem to be implying I engineered this situation to benefit myself which couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Sceptre86 · 04/02/2021 18:46

It was a case of right place right time for you so you have nothing to feel guilty for and I would message the cows back saying exactly that.

katy1213 · 04/02/2021 18:47

I wouldn't even waste time and head space telling them to fuck off.

CodenameVillanelle · 04/02/2021 18:48

They would presumably rather it got thrown in the bin rather than you got it. Wankers.

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 04/02/2021 18:48

@Dogonahottinroof

I think it is just a bit frustrating for CEV people who haven't been contacted. My DH is waiting but most of my family have been done as they happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Better in the arm of someone who was in the right place at the time than down the sink.

Give your head a wobble!

Inthemuckheap · 04/02/2021 18:49

Silly cow. If she's so concerned why doesn't she offer to take elderly people to their vaccination appointments and she may be offered a spare too?

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