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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty as I’ve had the Covid vaccination!

299 replies

DottyDonut · 04/02/2021 18:22

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently Angry. She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 04/02/2021 19:15

If she’s very overweight ie BMI over 40 she’ll be getting it soon enough. I’m in that category myself as well as also being a registered carer.

mrbensbaker · 04/02/2021 19:15

They are being idiots, you did the right thing.

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 19:17

So where are all these 'spare' vaccines that would go to waste?

In places where lots of people have cancelled, not made an appointment before batch expiry or declined the vaccine?

Our area was criticised recently for throwing too many vaccines away and I think they have upped their effort in inviting reserve lists of patients for a last minute appointment.

TonTonMacoute · 04/02/2021 19:17

Do not feel guilty!

The more people we can get vaccinated quickly and efficiently, the better for all of us - even the twats!

Iliketeaagain · 04/02/2021 19:18

@Jux

I have heard (can't prove it) that in one of the clinics near us, the volunteers are given the spare doses at the end of the day. I'm not sure whether that's because the vaccine they have won't 'keep' overnight, or what. If it's that they don't keep then it's fair enough.

I reckon that's what happened with you - cancellations mean those doses aren't used today. Maybe they can go back in the fridge, in which case OK, but if they can't go back into the right storage then why not?

Most vaccines that are "spare" are just from vaccine vials that have already been punctured, so they need to be used within a 6 hour time frame.

If the vaccine hasn't been started, it can be stored (at least the Oxford one can), the Pfizer one is more limited once it is thawed, it can only be kept for a few days.

stablefeet · 04/02/2021 19:18

"Don't be so fucking stupid SIL. It would have been wasted because the person who should have had it didn't turn up. Would you rather it ended up in the bin?"

NoIDontLikeTrains · 04/02/2021 19:19

Maybe I should have gone in with him rather than wait in the car, and sod the extra risk to me, DP, and other people from me unnecessarily going into the vaccine centre 🤨 Because as we all know, a carer has to stay within 30cm of the person they care for at all times.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 04/02/2021 19:19

Don't feel guilty. There are a few people obsessed about waiting in line but the reality is these vaccines have a limited time once out of the freezer.
There was a news article shared on Facebook about how our local vaccine hub was giving wasted end of the day vaccines to police and fire services as they could attend at short notice.
There were the few angry shouty people in the comments expecting the vaccine hub to somehow round up the over 80's and get them down there at 8pm at night.

YukoandHiro · 04/02/2021 19:19

It would have gone in the bin and you're caring for someone at higher risk. They wouldn't have offered it to you otherwise.
Tell her to get back in her box

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 04/02/2021 19:22

I'm glad you and your son had your vaccines, OP. I had mine yesterday. I'm in the vulnerable group but think my husband is actually more vulnerable - he has asthma. I wish he would have been having his yesterday also but, hopefully it won't be long.

I would tune our your family members who behave like this and just not engage any longer.

Angel2702 · 04/02/2021 19:22

No you shouldn’t feel guilty. I would feel a lot more guilty if I turned down a vaccine that would then end up in the bin.

HildegardNightingale · 04/02/2021 19:22

Yanbu. What did she want them to do, throw away unused vaccines?

Wishitsnows · 04/02/2021 19:23

Better in you than in the bin. They are idiots

Bettydot · 04/02/2021 19:23

I’m sorry they’ve been so horrible about it. You would have been crazy to turn it down. I think it’s great that you were offered it and glad that you’ve been able to have it. Ignore them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 04/02/2021 19:23

Not liking the judgement on the thread though. Can everybody just not mind their own business? Nothing to do with anybody else who decides to have the vaccine and who doesn't. Bodily autonomy all the way.

jellybe · 04/02/2021 19:25

Ignore. You didn't ask for it you were offered which stopped a vaccine going to waste which would have happened.

TheWordWomanIsTaken · 04/02/2021 19:26

@pensivepigeon

So where are all these 'spare' vaccines that would go to waste?

In places where lots of people have cancelled, not made an appointment before batch expiry or declined the vaccine?

Our area was criticised recently for throwing too many vaccines away and I think they have upped their effort in inviting reserve lists of patients for a last minute appointment.

But I went for my pre-arranged appt and was turned away? The reason given was that there were too many walk-ins that day. So I assume people like the OP and other PPs who were given the jab as they were there with family etc. I don't object to or resent anyone at all of taking an offer to have a jab, and I really do believe that those that live with CEV people should be prioritised. But I can't help feel a bit miffed that I have to wait another two weeks. Surely they are only spare if everyone that was scheduled to have one that day has had one? Anyway OP, tell your family to piss off. Not a single one of them would have turned down the opportunity.
Neenan · 04/02/2021 19:26

Here we go again

DenisetheMenace · 04/02/2021 19:27

Good grief no. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but would your relatives be prepared to resume responsibility for your child, if you died prematurely?
My husband is CEV, not had his letter yet. Really glad to read that you were vaccinated. Don’t feel guilty for one second.

SunshineCake · 04/02/2021 19:27

You are letting other people make you feel guilty. Why? Don't be silly. No one can make you feel a way unless you let them.

StiffyByng1 · 04/02/2021 19:28

You’re very lucky. My sister is a carer and was offered a vaccination 3 weeks when she took one of her clients for theirs. Unfortunately she didn’t have her NHS number on her so they rescinded the offer. Even more unfortunately my sister was infected by one of her other clients this week. My sister genuinely loves her work, but I’ve hated her doing this job, carers are truly treated appallingly. She’s been put at risk so many times and it’s finally got her.

DenisetheMenace · 04/02/2021 19:28

“Here we go again“

Well, that’s really, really useful.

Beautiful3 · 04/02/2021 19:29

You did nothing wrong. You would have been crazy to have turned it down. It would have been binned otherwise! Ignore and block.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 04/02/2021 19:29

What is CEV? I've seen it posted a few times now.

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 19:29

Not liking the judgement on the thread though. Can everybody just not mind their own business? Nothing to do with anybody else who decides to have the vaccine and who doesn't. Bodily autonomy all the way.

Yes, but no, but!Grin

Bodily autonomy. Absolutely!

However, I think people on this thread are just saying it's a good thing if you can have it. In support of the OP. Not that you should have the vaccine under any circumstance. Of course there are some people who have to be more cautious. That's how I understood it, anyway...

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