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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty as I’ve had the Covid vaccination!

299 replies

DottyDonut · 04/02/2021 18:22

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently Angry. She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

OP posts:
LalalalalalaLand123 · 04/02/2021 19:05

Ignore them - they sound really nasty. You did the right thing getting the vaccine.

Rainbowqueeen · 04/02/2021 19:05

@Dogonahottinroof if your DH is in one of the eligible categories he can book on the website without being contacted. There’s a whole thread on this in the coronavirus topic.

There are delays with the post in many areas but once your letter has been generated by the NHS you can book even if you haven’t received the letter. The website won’t let anyone book unless they are eligible so it’s worth checking every few days.
Please have a look, it must be horrible just waiting for your letter.

wellahair · 04/02/2021 19:07

Don't feel guilty. Good on you for getting it instead of it wasted. This is what they did in Israel, hence why they were ahead of the world in terms of vaccinating. Tell them to fuck off. Idiots.

frumpety · 04/02/2021 19:08

You didn't jump the queue though did you ?
You didn't tell a lie to get it, you didn't expect to have it when you arrived, you didn't bundle someone else into a cupboard to get their dose ( did you ? ) , you simply took the person who was called to have theirs and was offered it because someone else didn't show.

shiningstar2 · 04/02/2021 19:08

You would be mad to refuse it. You were there with your CEV son who was getting the vaccine. They had some spare and they offered. Why would it make any sense to refuse it! It is convenient for the clinics to use spares this way and is efficient for them and you time wise as well.

KnobblyWand · 04/02/2021 19:08

Send them a picture of your arm with its little cotton ball stuck to it and a big fat up yours.

Or be more of a grown up than me and ignore them I guess.

I agree with PP that said you should've been eligible anyway, and obviously they thought so too since they offered you a spare.

ofwarren · 04/02/2021 19:08

You haven't jumped the queue. Carers of CEV people are being done at the same time.
I was done a few days ago for the same reason.

Covidcorvid · 04/02/2021 19:08

You did nothing wrong. If you and people like you didn’t take it they would be binned.

Not only are you helping the wider population because every vaccine matters and helps you having the vaccine will help protect your DS more. Yes, he’s had it as well. But if in the unlikely event he’s someone who doesn’t respond to it then the less chance of him being exposed to the virus the better.

eggsandwich · 04/02/2021 19:08

You are obviously your ds carer so you are entitled to get the vaccine with him as per government guidelines

NoIDontLikeTrains · 04/02/2021 19:09

My CEV partner had his Pfizer jab appointment towards the end of the day, while I waited in the car outside. He mentioned to the vaccinator he'd heard sometimes there were spare/unused doses, and if there were, his group 6 partner/carer (me, group 6 on five different counts…) could easily come in and use one up rather than it go to waste, and he got a really snotty response of "she'll have to wait her turn just like everybody else". So clearly even some vaccinators think of it as cheeky queue-jumping, if it's anything but a surprise to you that there are spare doses.

IAmongstTheWorld · 04/02/2021 19:10

I have had similar comments from my family @DottyDonut - it's actually been horrible. I am CEV and had mine but I have been accused of "pushing" my GP into giving it to me, been made to feel guilty because I had mine before older relatives (different part of the country) and told I shouldn't have had it.

It's been part of a much wider issue but it was probably the thing that upset me the most.

frumpety · 04/02/2021 19:10

Would sending your Sisters SIL lots of weightloss links, be considered a bit mean ? I would be sorely tempted and I say that as someone with a BMI above 40 !

Nohomeschoolingtoday · 04/02/2021 19:11

Ignore - I’d rather it be used than binned.

maddiemookins16mum · 04/02/2021 19:11

Good for you love, my heart feels good every, every single time I read or hear of someone being vaccinated. I would have been so pleased for you if you were my family.
Sadly, I expect to see lots of threads on MN in this vein over the coming weeks/months.

Moo678 · 04/02/2021 19:12

Every person who gets vaccinated is contributing to herd immunity and helping to end this miserable situation. Well done for having yours. What good would wasting a dose have done???

pensivepigeon · 04/02/2021 19:12

What is more the NHS didn't say, 'Or would you prefer your SiL to have it?'....

TheWordWomanIsTaken · 04/02/2021 19:13

I'm not understanding what I am reading - I don't think you should feel guilty at all - I think everyone that lives with a CEV person should be vaccinated at the same time.
But, I had an appt to have my vaccine on Monday and when I turned up for my appointment they had 'run out of vaccines due to walk-ins'' and my appointment was rescheduled for a couple of weeks time.
So where are all these 'spare' vaccines that would go to waste?

Skipsurvey · 04/02/2021 19:13

this has bought out the worst in people

gypsywater · 04/02/2021 19:13

She should get out of your business and focus on losing weight

MadameBlobby · 04/02/2021 19:14

YANBU

you’re an unpaid carer, you’d be entitled soon enough anyway.

Bubbletube · 04/02/2021 19:14

If you're an informal carer, you would be considered a priority anyway. Ignore her, sour grapes don't taste good.

Bonnieonthelam · 04/02/2021 19:15

@DottyDonut

So I have a teen DC (CEV) who was vaccinated against Covid yesterday, I was with him and was offered one too as the clinic had quite a few cancellations apparently. I certainly wasn’t expecting it so was caught on the spot but thought I’d be pretty stupid to turn it down so had it.

I mentioned it to my sister who was quite pissed off saying it wasn’t fair! She has since told her husband and I got a sarcastic message from her SIL this morning asking me if I was proud of myself ‘jumping the queue’ and how did I deserve to be so lucky. No, I’m not lucky to have a DS who’ll never live independently Angry. She not very nice anyway and I know she has been really scared of getting Covid as she’s very overweight but this is really nasty isn’t it?

I didn’t do anything wrong. Would anyone have turned it down in my shoes?

I think your sister and her sil are not only dumb. But dumber 😂
Jux · 04/02/2021 19:15

I have heard (can't prove it) that in one of the clinics near us, the volunteers are given the spare doses at the end of the day. I'm not sure whether that's because the vaccine they have won't 'keep' overnight, or what. If it's that they don't keep then it's fair enough.

I reckon that's what happened with you - cancellations mean those doses aren't used today. Maybe they can go back in the fridge, in which case OK, but if they can't go back into the right storage then why not?

Bookwords · 04/02/2021 19:15

She is being totally ridiculous! Same thing happened to SIL, she's considerably younger than BIL, he was getting his (80+), they said roll up your sleeve we will do yours now as well (early 70s).

Excellent decision for all.

NaughtipussMaximus · 04/02/2021 19:15

The more people who are vaccinated, the better for everyone including those who are still at risk and unvaccinated. Better than wasting it!

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