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Original poster

Does height matter to you? Short love interest

278 replies

Wheresthesilverlining · 04/02/2021 13:24

So I'm seeing this guy who says he is 5ft8 and I'm 5ft 7. He's not, he's like a few inches shorter than me. Aibu for letting this out me off a bit/alot? I feel like a giant when we cuddle and like over powering idk. I only ever where healed shoes boots etc and love a nice pair of strappy heels I literally do not own one pair of flat shoes. The guy is really nice but my head can't seem to get over that I feel a bit uncomfortable that he's shorter than me. Help?

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/02/2021 10:21

@DaphneduM

It's up to you - if you can't get past his height then fair enough. Personally I don't understand it though. I had a very short brother who married a beautiful tall woman. My husband is the same height as me - he's not only a lovely person but very handsome too. We're both totally confident in who we are.
This is exactly what I meant by bodymates (like soulmates). Everyone has someone somewhere for who their body type is just absolutely perfect😁
CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 10:22

For some of us sexual attraction and chemistry are more subtle than height or bust size.

MammaMiaWallace · 05/02/2021 10:23

I’m 5’9 and had various flings with shorter guys but it each time it made me feel like an enormous beast (and if anything they appeared to enjoy being smaller and was like an enthusiastic Borrower to my Gulliver.)

My exh is 6’6 and my ex-fiancé was 6’3. All other boyfriends/partners have been over 6’. I’m sure I’m missing out on other wonderful men by not “dating down”, but thankfully there’s lots of lovely tall men around (so far!)

EttaKett · 05/02/2021 10:27

I think I'd struggle to date someone shorter than me, as he'd have to be 4 foot something. I can't really imagine being taller than anyone at all, never mind a man. My DD is 5 foot 11 and says she would not be attracted to a man who's shorter than she is.

KeflavikAirport · 05/02/2021 10:37

People are absolutely allowed to have their own preferences whether it's about physical or behaviour.

Yes, but other physical preferences tend to be more evenly spread. Some women like long hair, some baldies, some short hair, some blond, some red, some brown, etc. Height is different in that the preference is much more one-way. I think it's worth exploring why so many women feel that way.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/02/2021 10:40

I think it stems from natural, isn't it. The bigger the stronger thing (which isn't true much necessarily). Same like hips on women indicating strenght and birthing etc apparently. But I think tides are turning on all this if I am honest.

BabyBee93 · 05/02/2021 10:44

@SummerBlondey

If it matters to you, that's fine!

One of the sexiest things about my DH (in my eyes), is his height and shoulders. He's 6 ft 3, and has 48 inch chest. I'm only 5ft 1, and so to me he seems massive. Definite turn on!

Oooh scrumptious! DP's broad shoulders and chest (and big hands!) are a huge turn on for me too
gannett · 05/02/2021 10:48

I think it's worth exploring why so many women feel that way.

The thing that leaps out over and over again are the women saying it makes them feel unfeminine.

Why do they think being big and/or tall is unfeminine?

Do they think tall women are more masculine?

That's a strange line of thinking to me and very different to just not finding someone attractive.

CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 10:52

@KeflavikAirport

People are absolutely allowed to have their own preferences whether it's about physical or behaviour.

Yes, but other physical preferences tend to be more evenly spread. Some women like long hair, some baldies, some short hair, some blond, some red, some brown, etc. Height is different in that the preference is much more one-way. I think it's worth exploring why so many women feel that way.

And why so many women ascribe negative personality traits to short men. Chippy, resentful, insecure, or if they have the nerve to feel confident in themselves they are overconfident, cocksure and suffer from small man syndrome.
newyearnewname123 · 05/02/2021 11:28

It's not 'bizarre' to lie about height when this thread alone reveals the deeply entrenched discrimination against short men. It's not equivalent to age, as we all get older.

I think it's bizarre to lie so that someone meets you when you know they are prejudiced against you already. It's like if I pretended I had bigger breasts by wearing a padded bra.

Why would you want to attract a partner who isn't interested in you as you actually are.

I'm not saying there isn't prejudice against short men, I'm saying that lying to overcome that prejudice is stupid, because you end up meeting the wrong woman.

SandyY2K · 05/02/2021 11:56

@Overtherubicon
My ds2 has a condition that means that he's going to be very short - shorter than your love interest. When I see the many many posts on here about only fancying taller men, or the people who think it's funny to laugh at guys for having small hands, I feel sad for him - but then suppose that at least if he does go for women, he'll rule out the shallower ones fast.

Having a preference doesn't make someone shallow.

I'm someone who would never dare a man shorter than me.
I can accept that a man who prefers slim women (size 12 and under) wouldn't want to date me. I don't think that's shallow of them...just their preference. Or if they prefer women with long hair.

You shouldn't worry about your son, because there's someone for everyone. It's not like all the short men are single and alone.

I know many short men...some shorter than their wives who are very happy and to be honest, they all happen to be really lovely and genuinely kind men. Even though they wouldn't be my choice because of height.

I'm sure your son will have his preference in women too, so don't let thus worry you. Height may not be attractive to some, but it doesn’t mean anything to others.

Bedtimedistraction · 05/02/2021 11:57

I snogged a shorter guy when I was 14 and it still makes me cringe. Never again!

CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 11:58

Having a preference doesn't make someone shallow.

It does in some people’s eyes and that is something you just have to accept if you have such a preference.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/02/2021 11:59

As if some people here have absolutely no physical preferences... Everyone has some

BabyBee93 · 05/02/2021 12:01

@CounsellorTroi why does it make you shallow?

SandyY2K · 05/02/2021 12:01

@newyearnewname123

I think it's bizarre to lie so that someone meets you when you know they are prejudiced against you already.

Why would you want to attract a partner who isn't interested in you as you actually are.

I totally agree with you.

It's like saying your a size 10 when you're a 14. Why lie, when the truth will soon come out?

Or saying you're 31, when you're 37. Just be honest and know that those contacting you...are doing so with the truth.

It's not okay to lie, because you think the truth will put someone off. It's deception.

CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 12:05

Other than bad teeth, I cannot think of a single physical attribute that would be an absolute deal breaker for me. I’ve fancied tall men, short men, bald men and men of every hair colour and skin colour.

Happycat1212 · 05/02/2021 12:05

I find it funny when people compare it to men liking slim women, I would say just as most women have a preference for taller men, most men have a preference for slim women!! So don’t act like men don’t have preferences either, everyone does, whether it’s height or something else

CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 12:06

[quote BabyBee93]@CounsellorTroi why does it make you shallow?[/quote]
Because looks are only skin deep and are not generally a good guide to how someone will treat you?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/02/2021 12:06

Oh yeah. Teeth seem to be common deal breaker. I think that too stems from primitive instincts about helath🤔

KeflavikAirport · 05/02/2021 12:09

Well, bad teeth can be fixed if you can afford it, so they're a proxy for poverty I supposed.

SandyY2K · 05/02/2021 12:10

Having a preference doesn't make someone shallow.

It does in some people’s eyes and that is something you just have to accept if you have such a preference.

Anyone who thinks preference and attraction is shallow, is clearly unable to think objectively and understand human beings.

Women who like tall men are not saying that's the be all and end all. They don't want a tall abusive man..or a tall man who cheats or any other tall fool.

It's just one element of something they prefer.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/02/2021 12:18

@KeflavikAirport

Well, bad teeth can be fixed if you can afford it, so they're a proxy for poverty I supposed.
Maybe in uk, not where i am from and teeth were issue for me even there
CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 12:20

Do all these people saying that men shouldn’t lie about their height honestly state that they won’t date anyone under 6 foot?

JackieweaverhasALLtheauthority · 05/02/2021 12:21

I am a tall woman, 5' 11" and have been rejected many many times by men because of my size.
SO many men only want a 5'5 size 10 woman with a beautiful face and are absolutely blatant about it but a woman says she wants a tall man and all of a sudden we're shallow and should feel sorry for the poor short men?

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