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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does height matter to you? Short love interest

278 replies

Wheresthesilverlining · 04/02/2021 13:24

So I'm seeing this guy who says he is 5ft8 and I'm 5ft 7. He's not, he's like a few inches shorter than me. Aibu for letting this out me off a bit/alot? I feel like a giant when we cuddle and like over powering idk. I only ever where healed shoes boots etc and love a nice pair of strappy heels I literally do not own one pair of flat shoes. The guy is really nice but my head can't seem to get over that I feel a bit uncomfortable that he's shorter than me. Help?

OP posts:
RickJames · 04/02/2021 16:11

Aw, I feel bad for short chaps. I find them attractive too - non-threatening and neat. You can share clothes with them. I like kissing them because you are looking right at each other.

I've ended up with a 6'3"-er. His size irritates me a bit at times (especially in lockdown), he really takes up a lot of space and he doesn't lift me about romantically because his back might go out Grin and his stupid giant shoes grrrr... He looks beautiful in a suit though and it was fun for DS riding on his shoulders when he was small.

Still, if it matters to you, then it matters to you - nothing wrong with that. I dont fancy men with big tummies so I'd not be dating one (even though I know some lovely big-tummied men).

SirVixofVixHall · 04/02/2021 16:13

Same as me and DH, although I am half an inch taller than you. Really does not bother me in the slightest.

twilightcafe · 04/02/2021 16:24

You like who you like.
This guy isn't your cup of tea.

CharlotteRose90 · 04/02/2021 16:45

It would matter to me and you’ve
Defo got the ick over it so you can’t change it sadly.

JustAnotherOldMan · 04/02/2021 16:48

As 6ft 1 man, all of the few woman I dated has been shorter than me, never been a problem for me.

Notashandyta · 04/02/2021 16:55

Me and oh are both 5 10"

Yes, I'd like him to be a bit taller. No, I dont regret marrying him, that's crazy! There are far more important things to look for and I couldn't be happier.

Somertime · 04/02/2021 17:11

Im 5 8 and my DP is 5 4. He claimed he was 5 6 until I actually measured him. I really don't mind his height but DH hates me being taller - im the only woman he's ever dated who is shorter than him. He's a really lovely man who i feel lucky to be with and to me that is what matters.

If it does bother you then you either need to get past it or let him go. It's not fair to ever make him feel uncomfortable about something he can't change.

CroutonsAvatar · 04/02/2021 17:35

My husband and I are the same height. I wear high heels and couldn’t give a shit about it. He’s lovely, he makes me happy and we fancy each other. Quite a few of my friends have an over 6 foot policy and are yet to find a decent match.

I guess you have to figure out how important it really is to you.

Cheeseandwin5 · 04/02/2021 17:52

@bungaloid
I'm a short man at 166cm, but I've turned down women as they simply weren't beautiful enough. I can't help that I only like beautiful women. So, swings and roundabouts really

Hahah You wouldn't have got away with this comment on any other thread. As it is people must be gritting their teeth
Try starting your own thread and see how many of the, you cant help who you find attractive brigade you get to support you.

ChristOnAPeloton · 04/02/2021 18:03

It would certainly bother me- although as I’m very short myself it would be unusual to see a man even shorter anyway.

If you don’t fancy someone, you don’t fancy them basically. Could be height, weight, dress sense, hair... anything can put you off.

Not much anyone can do to help. Sorry.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 04/02/2021 18:03

@Cheeseandwin5 I think everyone knew it's bit goady so why start argument.

Even if not, well. Everyone has a different definition of beautiful 😁 For example. People say Angelina Jolie or Kate Moss are beautiful. I think they are pretty but there are far more beautiful women.

So someone's 10/10 woman is someone else's 5/10. Same for men. That's just how life is😁

KeflavikAirport · 04/02/2021 18:09

Have you got hot tall nice men queuing up to date you? If not, get over yourself and learn to recognize a good thing when you’re onto it.

Icenii · 04/02/2021 18:11

Wonder how many people are less likely to compromise on apparece than personality?

Icenii · 04/02/2021 18:12

Appearance

JennieLee · 04/02/2021 18:14

My partner's a bit shorter than me. We might have started off as approximately the same height, but people get slightly shorter as they get older. (He's 70). I find it useful being able to borrow his jumpers. I also don't want to 'look up' to some much taller bloke. I think the similarity in height gives me more of a feeling of equality, partnership.

Glenchase · 04/02/2021 18:20

It wouldn’t bother me personally. Over the years I’ve fancied a number of short men. What puts me off is men who are slightly built with tiny hands. It’s just not my thing. I’m happy for the man to be shorter as long as he’s well built and has a bigger waist and hands etc than me.

THisbackwithavengeance · 04/02/2021 18:21

My DH is 3 inches shorter than me.

If I could wave a magic wand, I would probably make him taller but since I haven't, it's not an issue.

I've had a few partners shorter than me and others taller. I'm not really bothered.

But if being with a tall man is important to you, then throw this one back. No point wasting each other's time..

kizkiz · 04/02/2021 18:38

I'm a 6'7" man, so never even met a woman taller, let alone dated one. It would be supremely weird Grin
I did briefly date someone who was 4'11". There was lots of sitting down. Lmao

cherrypop86 · 04/02/2021 18:45

It would bother me. I don't find short men attractive. My DH is 6'2 and I'm 5'3. I dated a man the same height as me a few years ago and though he was a nice person I'd be lying if I said the height didn't put me off him a bit. I think if I was really into him it I would have got past it but in the end it was just another reason on the list to end it.

MrsTWH · 04/02/2021 18:49

I’m 5ft7, my DH is about 5ft8. All the same when we’re horizontal 😂

Actupfishy · 04/02/2021 18:53

I’m 5 ft 6 and OH is 5 ft 7, find him the most gorgeous thing ever but you can’t help what turns you off!

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 04/02/2021 19:21

@Wheresthesilverlining YANBU
I am 6’4” - would never EVER date someone shorter. Been there, done that, was a big mistake 😔

dottiedodah · 04/02/2021 19:29

Did you post about this recently?just seemed a familiar post is all .If you like him and he likes you it seems a pity to call it off due to a height difference .Without being rude you dont spend all the time with him standing up!Maybe just wear trainers with a dress (My Sons GF does this and she is very young and very pretty).Maybe some pretty strappy flat sandals or Ugg boots for winter?

Happycat1212 · 04/02/2021 19:33

Yes there was a thread literally asking the same question a few days ago if you would date someone shorter...

bourbonne · 04/02/2021 19:33

All men lie about their height. There are basically three sizes of man, and it's vanity sizing:

"I'm 5'8"" = I'm 5'5" ish.

"I'm six foot" - I'm taller than you are (but not six foot)

The above two categories describe most men. Then there are actual tall men, who don't go on about their height.