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Original poster

Does height matter to you? Short love interest

278 replies

Wheresthesilverlining · 04/02/2021 13:24

So I'm seeing this guy who says he is 5ft8 and I'm 5ft 7. He's not, he's like a few inches shorter than me. Aibu for letting this out me off a bit/alot? I feel like a giant when we cuddle and like over powering idk. I only ever where healed shoes boots etc and love a nice pair of strappy heels I literally do not own one pair of flat shoes. The guy is really nice but my head can't seem to get over that I feel a bit uncomfortable that he's shorter than me. Help?

OP posts:
roxisolerenshaw · 05/02/2021 22:01

@Bluekangaroo123

I’m around 5’10’’ & my partner is slightly shorter than me. It doesn’t bother me now even though I thought it would. What did annoy me when dating was when friends of mine who were significantly shorter than me said they would only date men that were 6 feet tall!
I don't understand why your friends personal preferences would annoy you. Each to their own.
TurquoiseDragon · 05/02/2021 22:12

I guess I'd like a bloke taller than me, but I'm 5'3" so most men will be taller. But height is not a deal breaker for me. I'd date a bloke who is shorter than me if he was nice and didn't mind me wearing heels sometimes.

I have a stronger preference for dark hair and eyes, not bothered about skin colour. I have 1 ex, who had grey eyes and who was 5'7". He was definitely upset about his height, but tried to dress it up as me being worried that our DC would be taller than me. I'm not bothered about my height, never have been, but he just wouldn't stop going on about how I must be feeling, major projection on his part.

But that was him, not a reflection on any other bloke. He wasn't a nice person, and it wasn't his height or lack of it, that made him that way.

My parents were the same height, 5'5". They were happy together until Mum passed away 4 weeks after their 52nd wedding anniversary.

My son is 5'6", he's 16, and going by the comments on this thread I am really hoping he gets a bit of a growth spurt. Even a couple of inches more might help, judging by some of the comments here. He's a kind lad, willing to help (although can be cynical), does his share of the chores, still hugs me, his mum, and so on. Would be a real catch, but if people can't get past the height then he has no chance, does he?

bogoffmda · 05/02/2021 22:51

BillMasen - insults are not the remit of small men

I have been called a man, brick shithouse, elephant, giraffe, trans, crossdressing queer, mutant, daddy long legs, ogre, giant, claims my mother fucked a dog, monkey, hippo etc etc

Boring - shoulders back, head up and keep on walking

TheViewFromDownHere · 05/02/2021 23:04

@TurquoiseDragon

I guess I'd like a bloke taller than me, but I'm 5'3" so most men will be taller. But height is not a deal breaker for me. I'd date a bloke who is shorter than me if he was nice and didn't mind me wearing heels sometimes.

I have a stronger preference for dark hair and eyes, not bothered about skin colour. I have 1 ex, who had grey eyes and who was 5'7". He was definitely upset about his height, but tried to dress it up as me being worried that our DC would be taller than me. I'm not bothered about my height, never have been, but he just wouldn't stop going on about how I must be feeling, major projection on his part.

But that was him, not a reflection on any other bloke. He wasn't a nice person, and it wasn't his height or lack of it, that made him that way.

My parents were the same height, 5'5". They were happy together until Mum passed away 4 weeks after their 52nd wedding anniversary.

My son is 5'6", he's 16, and going by the comments on this thread I am really hoping he gets a bit of a growth spurt. Even a couple of inches more might help, judging by some of the comments here. He's a kind lad, willing to help (although can be cynical), does his share of the chores, still hugs me, his mum, and so on. Would be a real catch, but if people can't get past the height then he has no chance, does he?

Obviously I don't speak for all men and I know some men (and women) don't like the height imbalance if you wear heels.

But for me - I WANT you to wear heels if that's what you want to do.

Not in the "fetish" way - I just want a normal partner to have a normal relationship with. If that involves a night out in a pair of heels - great - Go for it!

I don't want you doing anything different because I'm short, any more than you want me to mansplain how stuff works because you're a woman.

I see that excuse so often - "I could never date a short man 'cos I like wearing heels"

They're an inanimate object. Why am I being turned down for a pair of shoes?! (yeah, I know there's a big emotional attachment between a woman and her shoes, but from an outsider's point of view - you can see where we struggle to follow the logic! :) )

It's like me saying I could never date a blonde 'cos I like driving a Porsche. What's A got to do with 2???

Strange world!

I wish your son good luck!

TomPinch · 05/02/2021 23:20

TuquoiseDragon,

Your son will probably be fine, even if he doesn't grow further (at 16 I was 5'5).

Another advantage is that women have always related quite well to me and I do think being small has something to do with that. I suppose it's the flip side of being friendzoned.

babbi · 05/02/2021 23:32

@RickJames

Aw, I feel bad for short chaps. I find them attractive too - non-threatening and neat. You can share clothes with them. I like kissing them because you are looking right at each other.

I've ended up with a 6'3"-er. His size irritates me a bit at times (especially in lockdown), he really takes up a lot of space and he doesn't lift me about romantically because his back might go out Grin and his stupid giant shoes grrrr... He looks beautiful in a suit though and it was fun for DS riding on his shoulders when he was small.

Still, if it matters to you, then it matters to you - nothing wrong with that. I dont fancy men with big tummies so I'd not be dating one (even though I know some lovely big-tummied men).

@RickJames. This made me laugh .. the bit about taking up so much room ..

I’m tiny ..5ft 1 and very petite size 6 .. I married a 6ft 2 hugely built man ... big rugby type and I took ages to get used to how he was always under my feet and took up so much space ..

I felt like it was a detour to walk around him in the kitchen etc ...
I know it was unfair to think like that because I way prefer tall men ... so fanciable ... even hanging my laundry .. I could get 3 t shirts on the line in the space he got one 😂

blackheartsgirl · 06/02/2021 00:18

I'm five 7 dp is 5 feet 4 and no it doesn't bother me at all..or him.

I fancy him like mad and i also wear heels on occasion. He's the best person I've been with.

You can't help who you fancy but so many women turn down short men, its a shame because they really aren't another species.

Dp was single for 14 years because his height put women off, until he met me and I don't give a shit

SandyY2K · 06/02/2021 08:12

i went out with a bloke once who was about 5' 4 he was such a nice bloke and really quite sexy but i just couldn't get past the feeling that i looked like i was walking down the road with my little brother

I can understand the feeling of your partner's physical attributes affecting how you feel about yourself.

Many years ago this guy liked me and wanted us to get together, but he was really skinny. I met him through a friend that's how I got to know him as a person.....he was a lovely guy, but being with him made me feel massive and exceedingly body conscious ... it would have affected any relationship we could have had. Purely my issue.

He always wore baggy clothes and I didn't realise he was that skinny until we got a bit closer IYSWIM.

I have nothing against skinny men, but relationship wise, it wouldn't work for me.

hellejuice91 · 06/02/2021 22:09

I wouldn't date anyone one shorter than me, but in all honesty for practical reasons as oppose to attractiveness. I am 4 ft 11, I can't reach a top shelf, or make the bed as I am too short. That being said my Husband is till only 5ft 5 but that makes a huge difference in our combined ability as a couple

Icenii · 06/02/2021 22:13

Do you have mobility issues which is why you can't make the bed? I manage our superking. Not sure why height would stop that?

JackieweaverhasALLtheauthority · 06/02/2021 22:29

presumably because the duvet is bigger than her?
why does it matter?

Icenii · 06/02/2021 22:36

Because you can still make beds when you are short, I was curious as to why they couldn't.

Streetknowledge · 22/05/2021 15:53

Respect I get alot of love from ladies being bald more than my hair days actually.

CynsterBitch · 22/05/2021 15:59

When I was young and vain I always said I would never date anyone shorter than me. I’m 5’9, my husband is 5’8. When you meet the right person none of that matters

Notashandyta · 22/05/2021 16:00

My husband is an inch shorter than me, so glad I married him, he is the best and we get on brilliantly.
Would I like him to be a bit taller/ me be a bit shorter? Yes! Is it a deal breaker? No- down there on the list of things that are important.
All my exes were taller than me but didn't make me happy

SallyCinnabon · 22/05/2021 16:03

Fancying people isn't an equal opportunities thing. You are attracted to what you're attracted to.

Exactly this. I’m 5ft 9 so not really tall but a lot men are shorter than me. DH is 6ft 3 and I honestly think part of the attraction was that he was also taller than me.

Cactusesi · 22/05/2021 17:58

It is a pity you don't value the important things but if you don't fancy someone you don't fancy them.

tentosix · 22/05/2021 18:28

If it wasn't going to matter it wouldn't matter. It does matter, so you need to let it go.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 22/05/2021 18:53

DH and I are the same height and I'm average height. Before him all my partner's had been about a foot taller than me but with DH, it never bothered me. I was head over heels as soon as I saw him. Point is, you can't help who you fancy! If he doesn't get your motor running, move on!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/05/2021 19:00

I think I would find it odd to be with someone much shorter than me. But similar height I don't think would matter. I dated a guy at uni who was exactly my height.

However on the flip side, DH is 8 inches taller, and actually its annoying that we look mismatched if I don't wear heels - the height difference doesnt work for dancing especially. This means I'm forced into wearing heels a lot which I detest - they are terrible for your feet, ankles and back.

Merchymor · 22/05/2021 19:03

Personally I prefer shorter, athletic, slim men and find large ones a bit off-putting.

Very muscular men are a total turn off for me, I wouldn't even consider them but loads of women like that sort of thing.

It's not a moral judgement, we like what we like so if he doesn't do it for you then he's not the one for you.

Macncheeseballs · 22/05/2021 19:05

I think the female preference for tall men is as shallow as some men's preference for big breasted women, I say that as a shallow tall man-ophile

sweetkitty · 22/05/2021 19:18

Before I met DH I would have said I was attracted to tall blonde or red haired, blue eyed men, DH is 5 foot 7, dark haired with brown eyes Grin , I’m just under 5foot 4 so I’m not taller than him.

CounsellorTroi · 23/05/2021 14:33

Still, if it matters to you, then it matters to you - nothing wrong with that. I dont fancy men with big tummies so I'd not be dating one (even though I know some lovely big-tummied men).

I don't think the two are comparable. Men can't do anything about their height.

CounsellorTroi · 23/05/2021 14:35

Very muscular men are a total turn off for me, I wouldn't even consider them but loads of women like that sort of thing.

I agree. A man can have a lovely body without having huge pecs and a six pack.