Does height matter to you? Short love interest

[Wheresthesilverlining]

So I'm seeing this guy who says he is 5ft8 and I'm 5ft 7. He's not, he's like a few inches shorter than me. Aibu for letting this out me off a bit/alot? I feel like a giant when we cuddle and like over powering idk. I only ever where healed shoes boots etc and love a nice pair of strappy heels I literally do not own one pair of flat shoes. The guy is really nice but my head can't seem to get over that I feel a bit uncomfortable that he's shorter than me. Help?

I'm 5ft 7, man in my life is about the same height, doesn't bother me in the slightest.

As a short person (female though) I do think its shallow to count being short as a negative thing. If you otherwise like the person it just seems like a silly thing to get hung up on? DH was overweight (and still is) when I met him and I preferred skinny guys, but I otherwise really liked him so decided not to worry about it

Well no they should lie about their height as when you meet them you will see it’s a lie anyway 🙄 is it ok for a size 14 to lie and says she’s a size 10 to get more interest?

@Auldspinster

I'm 5ft 7, man in my life is about the same height, doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Same here actually

Personally it would bother me. I am short, under 5"2 but I am only attracted to tall men. My shortest partner has been 6"2. DH is 6"3.

I dont think there is anything wrong with short men but if you arent attracted to them, you aren't attracted to them. No shame.

I'd crime about the fact that he's lied and added 4 inches to his height, rather than the fact that he's small.
Do guys who do this not this not think anyone will notice ?!

I think this is one of the things in online dating. My 'ideal type' man would be tall. If I'm going to get a crush on someone, it'll be a big rugby player type physique bloke - that's my 'type' I guess. So going purely by photos and a few lines on a dating site (and let's be honest, most men don't write much), a man's height could well put me off. Generally I put my parameters at 5ft10 and above, to allow for the fact most men overestimate their height, in my experience!

However, I have been out with men who were shorter than me because I got to know them in other ways and the attraction grew on me. At the end of the day, initial attraction is just initial attraction and other things like kindness and respect and intelligence are much more important to me. But it takes time to find those things out - and online dating makes it all about the initial attraction.

I've always dated people taller than me, I'm 5'8

Very very very briefly dated a guy a little over a year ago who was 5'6 and that was a bit weird at first but didn't put me off the smoking, debt and drug use he never told me about did

Met DP 8 months ago and I can hand on heart say he is the love of my life. We're exactly the same height but I wear mainly converse, doc martens etc so I usually look taller. It really doesn't matter to me, but it might to you.

Just be aware that being on the taller side and not dating anyone smaller/the same height means you might lose out on meeting some really nice guys! Most of the tall ones I know seem to be taken

Fancying people isn't an equal opportunities thing. You are attracted to what you're attracted to.

I agree with this but equally i think its potentially foolish to "throw away" a man who would be a good husband and father because of an arbitrary feature he can't control.

There are not that many good men out there so I'd think twice before ending it.
But if height really matters it might well be a deal breaker for you.

www.google.com/search?q=jamie+cullum+and+sophie+dahl&oq=jamie+cullum+and+sophie+dahl&aqs=chrome..69i57.11628j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung-ga-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=lBEcNd3dewwv9M

This why many women want to be with a taller man.

I’m 5’8 and my DP is about half an inch shorter. He’s slight and wiry too. We were friends for a long time before getting together, by the time we did I adored him so much it was irrelevant. I may have thought about it more if I met him for the first time on a date.

I don't find tall men particularly attractive, especially if they're a gym bod as well (ie huge) or really skinny.

I don't find fat men appealing at all. Sometimes I think it's not deemed 'ok' to say that. Or if a man said he didn't like big women or really short women or would only consider women who are no bigger than a size 12, it would be frowned upon as shallow.

It does seem it's ok for women to be "heightist" though.

We like who we like I suppose. Although it seems a shame to let a good man go just because he's a bit short.

it would be frowned upon as shallow.

Lol no it wouldn’t. Men write off women for shallow reasons all of the time, including height. Women have much more pressure to look perfect than men do, why is it okay for men to have high aesthetic standards but not women? Why do women always have to compromise as to not come across as “shallow”?

I am 6ft 1 - height does matter at my size - sorry !

I am immediately put off by any man who lies - believe me gentlemen if I can see the top of your bald/thinning patch then you are not 6ft!

Likewise, I did not ask to be tall, genetics made me this way - it is as much a pita for me ( I love being tall!) as it is for you to be short. I do find short men, either want to become all dominant and beat the shit out of me as a punishment for stealing their height or have me beat the shit out of them Dominatrix style!!

I can understand taller women wanting to date taller men. But tiny women who won't look at anyone shorter than 6ft, I'm a bit about that. Height is relative. Even someone 5ft 10 is going to tower over you.

It just seems so arbitrary and rigid. If you are 5ft tall does it really matter if a man is 10 inches or a foot taller than you?

I’m 5ft 4 so not that short, average really but yes I do prefer men who are 6ft + it’s just a preference really, we all have them

I replied to the other thread. I’m 5’7.5 and he’s 5’7. Husband has got a nice ripped physique and thick thighs, however, from years of doing martial arts.

Also, as per the other thread, he’s still kind, still witty, still has the most beautiful eyes and skin, and still rich.

I’m the opposite of most women in that I don’t like very tall men. I actually find it overwhelming and a bit threatening.

Reading this thread has been a real eye opener and makes we wonder if 51 yr old, grey haired man with a wonky knees will ever meet anyone again !

Just another old man - you will - currently am lusting after Greg Davies - so there is hope for the odd wonky knee!

Having said that rumour has it that like many tall+ men he only fancies small women - so it looks like Amazons like myself are stuck with the bald patches!

@KeflavikAirport

People are absolutely allowed to have their own preferences whether it's about physical or behaviour.

Yes, but other physical preferences tend to be more evenly spread. Some women like long hair, some baldies, some short hair, some blond, some red, some brown, etc. Height is different in that the preference is much more one-way. I think it's worth exploring why so many women feel that way.

I agree with this. If a male friend said he wouldn't ever date a woman over size 8 / under a D cup / with mixed race heritage, no matter how otherwise attractive or lovely, I bet most women on here would be pretty horrified. Because (a) it's pretty shallow and (b) it reflects some pretty crap societal biases.

Sure, we all have our preferences. But people on here saying they would never date a shorter man, or denying it's an issue as if 99% of the women here (including extremely short ones) prefer a bloke over 6 foot, and wondering why a man might add an inch or two, are failing to examine their own prejudices.

Yes, as I said upthread it's not just purely about physical attraction, a lot of women ascribe negative personality traits to short men.

And yet get outraged about the dumb blonde thing.

I don't fancy men that are shorter than me. Social conditioning I'm sure, but consider me fully conditioned at this point. It's unlikely to change.

I'd never say this to a man though, just as I'd never say 'I don't fancy you because you're too fat'. And similarly I'd hope never to be spoken to so bluntly either. It's one thing to have a preference but it's another thing entirely to choose to hurt someone's feelings.

And I'm just thinking of all the shorter men I know and they're all coupled up. So they're doing okay out there!

.i have an exceptionally son and he reckons women don't like men his height either.
seems like there is a 4/5 inch window which is seen as being ideal!