To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

FlyingPanda
Good to hear your kids are still enjoying Scouts. I'm also a Leader for Rangers and Guides and we're running weekly (short sessions) zoom meetings. Last night our Rangers had an art based session and with Guides we played a game a bit like Rapidough.
Your kids shouldn't be online for 12 hours with school stuff. DD is at a competitive school and we've been told to keep the school day pretty much as normal, but that kids are not expected to be on screen all that time and school are providing a mix of work. So the school 'day' is 8.30-3ish with about 5 hours of work with about half of that needing a screen. So if school is maybe 3 hours, clubs etc maybe another hour, that still leaves time for some TV or gaming without it being crazy amounts of screen time.

@HmmSureJan

Why has a positive thread turned into one trying to convince all the posters on it how horrible it really is for their children? Aren't there enough threads already for that?

Quite.

@HmmSureJan

Why has a positive thread turned into one trying to convince all the posters on it how horrible it really is for their children? Aren't there enough threads already for that?

Indeed.

I am not sure how any parent, regardless of how their kids are faring can think this is any substitute whatsoever for a 'real life' and a proper childhood. Some people seem perfectly happy with it, worryingly.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

Living through screens is a dire way of life for most people, but particularly children.

Hmmm, yes I agree. I’m not sure why it keeps happening either.

I’m glad to see this thread overall though and to hear of the positive stories and that children are enjoying their Cubs or Brownies and about the activities that the leaders deliver online that also get them offline and having fun and laughing and interacting. It might not be the usual experience, but they are getting social interaction of some type and that’s worth a lot.

It’s true that we don’t know the longer term consequences of all this that’s happened. Some reports suggest serious consequences for many years, whilst others talk about how societies recover from these kind of things. Some people will beer towards the positive possibilities and others towards the negative.

I’m glad to hear of the stories of children doing well with their learning, finding ways to entertain themselves and having communication with family or friends and either enjoying it all or tolerating this phase pretty well. It’s not easy for anyone in one way or another, but as in all things of life, people do respond differently because if all kinds of reasons we know and we don’t know. People struggling need acknowledgement and help and I think we all recognise that. Those who aren’t struggling are grateful for that, as so many people on this thread mention, and their experiences of lockdown are as valid as anyone’s.

I guess after it all ends, we will probably look back in it all and talk about it a lot. It’s a turning point in modern life isn’t it. People will talk about before, during and after Covid. We’ve all gone through it and it’s something we all need to talk about whatever our experience has been. There should be threads so people can talk about the struggles, the getting by and even the positives that some people have experienced as a result. It shouldn’t be the case that people feel they can’t mention coping or doing well...in the right context it’s appropriate and a positive thing. A thread devoted to positive experiences is the right place for it.

It is dire, but we make the best of the situation we are in and I believe there is value in learning that sometimes life is shit and you have to get on with it rather than wallowing in self pity.

It's not their life though, is it? It's a bit of it. We've all had pretty horrible periods in our lives, lasting possibly a few years in some cases. It was just a part of our lives though. A percentage that gets smaller the older you get.

My DS has been amazing. He started A levels in September. He just gets on with his work, never moans, exercises most days, chats to his friends online. My only complaint is he eats everything in sight! I'm really proud of him. My DD (11) has been great too but she's found it more difficult being isolated from friends. It's so hard for them.

Screens are a poor substitute. It doesn’t mean self pity.

I can’t talk it up even if they seem ok. Can’t wait for them to move on.

I did an anonymous poll to see how my students were getting on last week and over 60% said they preferred online school and we’re fine. The other 40% very split between wanting to see friends and wanting to be able to go out more.

I do think we here from those not coping (and that is fine because they need to know that not coping is okay too).

I reckon if they could do school online and then be able to go out socially to do sport or clubs afterward, most kids would be quite happy.

The main thing for most of them is not seeing friends face to face and that’s the same for adults. Quite a few (and my sample size was 200 students) are saying they are getting more work done without the distraction of the prats in class who don’t want to learn.

But we do a full live timetable.

Yes, I think for those kids who just see school as a means to an end, online school works. I think it's easier to give 121 too because you're not constantly rushing our juggling 29 others.

@MarshaBradyo

Screens are a poor substitute. It doesn’t mean self pity.

I can’t talk it up even if they seem ok. Can’t wait for them to move on.

They are a poor substitute, but I am grateful that the teachers and other providers make the effort to make learning/activity as interesting as it can be. We all want to move on.

Mine is 15, studious, getting on with it. She has been upset by the uncertainty around exams, and rites of passage like prom & reading festival. She DOES think it is going to end & things are getting back like before and maybe thats what keeps her going. She is lucky her elder brother is home from Uni as I doubt she’d have managed otherwise. She is due to go to boarding in September - if the (small) school survives and I am quite concerned that, as youngest in her year (she’ll just have turned 16 when she starts) she’ll have missed a whole year of self development- eg she has no experience with boyfriends, going out, knowing how to handle herself at parties with alcohol etc.

Shanghai Yes we are lucky yr11 has really done a turnaround from last time. I’m very relieved.

FlyingPanda, same here. The senior school day is 8.30-4 but lessons are now 30 mins rather than 45 to give a break offline between each. Every lesson involves something online and at K sat there E lesson working on paper or in some other format, a, it's not all online or a or screen me at all.me all. Unis he FIn4 and. Very little homework I see being set so there are several hours before a quick session on Zoom for Scouts. Honestly, if you could hear the laughter and the rowdy chat, you'd smile it can't be a perfect substitute but it really is very good and ads loves it. Not all of life is a huge th at the moment but there are still bits of just Y for E L tan of children,neven I feel omen s

My 12 year old is loving it. He has autism and ehlers danlos syndrome so he struggles at school. My others are struggling.

Sorry, something went very strange with my typing...internet issues I think.

I meant to say, I can still see my DS having moments of joy at things like Scouts where they laugh hysterically and shout at each other lots. There is a lot of enjoyment going on during that 45 minute slot. It couldn't be described in any other way, even if some people can't imagine it being possible.

I suppose if you're a parent with a negative outlook and can't see anything happy in life at the moment, and feel every experience can only be a poor substitute for your children and that the losses are so overwhelming, the kids will probably know that's how you feel. It might make it harder for children to enjoy things or to try things in an open minded way expecting to enjoy them. It's not just about talking things up and putting a positive gloss on things which are negative, there's still lots of pleasure to be had. Children are missing out without doubt, but children often enjoy the simple pleasures in life and lots of those can remain in lots of families. But I can also see that for lots of families too, there isn't much pleasure at the moment and a lot of misery or sense of loss and things just not being right. It's different for everyone.

Blimey so much insight.

There’s a lot of laughing here. Either with friends or I make sure 11 year old does a lot. It’s not hard.

I still won’t talk up screens and digital as replacement.

DS (5) is bloody loving it. Loved the first lock too. He's a real home body and has enjoyed lots of mummy and daddy time. He's not missing school and were enjoying a different curriculum and a different pace.

We go to the park most days and DS almost always finds someone to play with there and that seems enough social interaction for him.

Yep my DD is definitely one of these.

Don't get me wrong she stays up way too late, doesn't help with the chores as much as I'd like and has her grumpy moments but on the whole she's a legend, and she has the extra stress of me not being around much atm as I'm caring for my elderly parents atm.

She gets up and gets on with her work every day with no nagging, has taken it upon herself to workout every day, comes round to visit her grandparents with me when she can, and is keeping in touch with friends online.

She's also managing to keep up her involvement with the local Youth Council, prefect duties and has organised herself two weeks of online work experience with a law training company.

She's also a Yr 11/16yo

Year 7 DS cracking on with full time virtual school, extra curricular clubs, piano and Scouts. No complaints or moans at all, both parents key workers I work from full time full on job - really proud of his attitude

I mean I work from home in keyworker role, other parent frontline NHS

My two are 14 and 18 and are coping well. They are a bit bored and a bit down so,times, but aren't we all? They don't see this as a big disaster that is going to ruin their lives forever, just a bit of a shit time that we'll get through. They aren't bots, they are normal sometimes mature kids who realise that they are part of society and so need to do their bit.

They are pretty resilient mental health wise, but then they had to be because before we adopted them they had a rough time with a mother who struggled, overdosed on occasion and then died of cancer. We went through a few years of self harm, depression and anxiety then and they got help and got through it. Maybe that has made them more resilient? Or maybe they are just the personalities that can cope with lockdown.

I do think that in some children the attitude of their parents does influence how difficult they are finding things. My daughter has a friend who is constantly being told by both her parents that her life has been ruined, that she has been made to sacrifice everything for old people. As a result the poor girl is upset, bitter and has decided not to bother with school anymore because her dad told her she'll never get a job anyway.

we have a teen who is doing well. Some days better than others, but his heart is still in life, he tries hard and makes the best of things. The quiet grit it takes, I'm gonna have to say 'resilienxe' is still there in our young ones.

my other 2 are really struggling though and its the usual shitshow