To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

Gosh my post was atrociously written - apologies, but hopefully you got the gist of it.

I notice that about 80% of the DC described on this thread, who are doing fine, are secondary age.

That doesn’t surprise me. They can socialise online far more effectively than primary kids.

@minipie

I notice that about 80% of the DC described on this thread, who are doing fine, are secondary age.

That doesn’t surprise me. They can socialise online far more effectively than primary kids.

Yeah, mine is 16, It must be much harder with a younger child

Some people relish being down.

You think they relish seeing dc struggle?

@minipie

I notice that about 80% of the DC described on this thread, who are doing fine, are secondary age.

That doesn’t surprise me. They can socialise online far more effectively than primary kids.

Yes they can

And I’m not even talking about own dc But early years will usually impact of online harder.

You think they relish seeing dc struggle?

Ha! I didn't say that. Some of you love twisting things, don't you?

Anyway, this thread is getting unpleasant so I'm off too. But I didn't enjoy reading those replies which engaged with the spirit of the thread.

Why say it then.

Ridiculous

@minipie

I notice that about 80% of the DC described on this thread, who are doing fine, are secondary age.

That doesn’t surprise me. They can socialise online far more effectively than primary kids.

Yes, definitely much easier for secondary children. Dd has taught herself to crochet during lockdown. So much easier for older kids to find new skills.

My dc are enjoying the winter lockdown. The school run is tiring for them, and winter is harsh where we live (rural setting) so actually my dc are chilled and like the extra rest and time with us (13 and 16) However they are missing their friends, they miss their teachers and sports. I am worried about the impact on both of them in terms of socialising and damage to their education.

So yes mine would be considered dc that are doing great, they are working extremely hard and having a good time together, and with friends on line regularly enjoying lots of laughter and jokes etc (form tutor called me to say that they are one of the very few doing well, so she has no concerns - as the school are now monitoring all dc) however they are still feeling a little lonely I suspect as most kids are, and even though they are happy enough - this half life of nothingness is not good or healthy for them. I think even with the most resilient and happy children, there will be an impact somewhere, and that is impossible to avoid (physically, mentally, emotionally) It pains me to say that I feel ALL children and teens will be damaged in some way by this pandemic, but most will come out of it just fine.

But Marsha, you totally quoted that single line out of the context of the whole post. By doing that, you change the meaning of what the poster is saying.

You must know you are doing that, but why would you choose to do that? The only reasons are either you aren’t able to understand the whole message of a post and are only able to fixate on individual lines, or you dislike the sentiment of this thread about sharing more positive experiences and deliberately want to find things people say to attack, or that you are looking to provoke a reaction and argument regardless of the topic.

Which is it?

Yes, definitely much easier for secondary children.
Dd has taught herself to crochet during lockdown. So much easier for older kids to find new skills

And I never thought I'd be so happy about the PS4, it's been a social lifeline really for my son, they way they can all play games together and chat etc

Wombat what tenacity and presumption.

The rest of the post was fine. The last line jumped out as particularly unkind.

Not one person will relish struggling, esp not their dc.

I’m all for positivity. Not for making people feel crap. Especially if they are facing a hard time.

You do realise that many on mn quote single lines that stand out? Do you go round doing the same on every post.

My DD15 and DS8 seem fine. But I think they live in a bit of a bubble and just assume everything will get better. DD communicates a lot with friends but is happy to be learning at home in an oodie. DS is still at the age where he likes us. He was a bit lacklustre this week, I think it was lack of social contact but he's been to the park a few times and that has perked him up.

I would like to add I 'hope' all children will be fine in the end, the truth is we have no idea of the longer term impact of the pandemic.
This has never ever happened before in the history of mankind, we have never locked our children away for such a long time. So I am concerned that the fall out might be larger, more complex and far reaching than anyone is acknowledging at the moment beyond the children's commissioner and mental health charities. We will find out soon enough.

My yr11 is, using schoolwork/revision and running/walking to stay sane but I worry that there's a limit (that's close to happening) or that it's storing up problems for the future.

I get the feeling they're relying so much on revision & fitness they're almost using it as a crutch to get through this time. I just hope as we come out of this they can adjust back to 'normality'

It would be standard form to acknowledge the overall sentiment and message of a thread too, if you want to quote one line that on its own misrepresents what the poster was saying....as you well know.

By quoting one line and disagreeing (especially on a thread which really isn’t about debate but about sharing a common experience) you misrepresent a poster and also look to provoke an argument or to make those who were simply there to share experiences and who don’t want to have to explain a point they clearly made and which has been misrepresented, leave the thread.

Fine to engage in discussion, as long as you really do represent what people have said and not take individual lines out of context, but show them as part of the overall of what was said. And certainly there are threads which are all about discussion of a topic....why not engage with those?

Some posters are not interested in engaging in the focus of a thread....here, sharing positives experiences, but only in challenging what people have said, often regardless of the topic. I always wonder what they get from that engagement unless it’s some enjoyment in disrupting or driving people off.

Anyway, clearly, I have engaged with that to some degree here, although more about the process than the issue, so I think it’s best if I say no more about it. No doubt, parts of what I have said can be quoted out of context again.

Comments were to Marsha.

My kids (9 and 12) have luckily been great. They've not moaned about being bored or anything, and DD speaking plenty to mates. Lots of screen time behind that, mind.

Y13 DS is understandably p'd off at the uncertainty of exams etc; despite this, he is completely motivated to do his best so he can get to his target Uni. We're lucky enough to have set up a spare room as a study so he has some variation in location during his day. Local 6th form college provide 2 x live lessons per subject weekly, with plenty of course & home work to see them through the rest of the week.

Y9 DD is on a full timetable, mostly of live lessons - frankly, outstanding efforts from her state school. She is following her brother's example & working really well, although she has a natural talent for getting distracted!

Both are trying to take walks most days & thankfully have been able to maintain their friendships through social media & zoom.

So while it is a long way from ideal, and knowing how privileged we are to have space & all the resources they need, I'm really proud of the way that they have responded to this awful situation.

(Apologies if I come across as smug, like I said I know how lucky we are, and like many others we have been trying to give something back to our community, for those who are struggling.)

Wombat as I said I posted my own positive experience so I have contributed in that way.

I still can’t help but feel for people who aren’t lucky (and it’s mostly luck here as school is delivering) and prefer to talk about the positive without making people feel worse.

Whether you are lucky to have a child that is coping well, or dealing with a child that is falling apart, as parents we are all doing our level best to make it as bearable/fun/fulfilling for our children as possible. A lot will depend on character.
Introvert children will fare far better than sociable extroverts for example, academic kids will prosper and relish extra time to study, and sporty kids will feel bereft and will feel keenly the loss of much loved sports and hobbies. It really is very dependent on all of these things, and we can only work with that we have, the child's personalities and with the residue of energy left to keep an uplifting and productive team spirit at home.
Honest conversations about how a child is a really feeling inside, reassuring them that they may feel ALL the positive and negative emotions, even in a single day and that is okay. The competitive nature of my kid is having a better lockdown than yours is pretty grim in the face of such a devastating pandemic, and I feel this thread is somehow championing that in a hollow way.

Some children will cope effortlessly now and may hit a wall later on, some will find going back to school much harder than the lockdown will ever be. Others are so into gaming and therefore seem happy on the outside, but actually will need to go through a proper withdrawal in order to get back to some kind of normality.

Positive experiences are definitely happening, but I would not say that was the whole picture for most/all children, it is much more complex than that.

None of my 3 mind about being on lockdown and off school, they're happy to be at home and just facetime friends, none of them feel in a hurry to get back to school.
The oldest 2 are mostly getting on with school work without any problems, my youngest dd, has a carry on and spends more time moaning about it each day than actually doing it.
Like the first lockdown this has actually improved dd2's mental health, at school she has panic attacks and has suicidal thoughts, and struggles to sleep, so for her it's a god send

I hope your dd is okay chicky that sounds extremely worrying and stressful.

I’ve got 3 primary aged DC. Two of them are absolutely fine with home learning and lockdown, they just get on with their work and don’t bother me too much at all. The middle one is totally different to them, she’s anxious and worried constantly and needs 1:1 support with most of her work (she’s in Year 5 so it shouldn’t be this way really). It’s crippling me tbh, I’m exhausted by it.

Like I say, eldest and youngest are fine but middle one just isn’t. She has spent most of this week screaming and shouting at me which has been lovely.