To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

He laughs a lot with friends. Still it’s all online and I welcome him not doing screens and getting back to it outside the house

Bully for you. It's been lovely consoling my kid crying child again this morning while remaining chipper and positive. I am sure it's just that they are not as great as your kids eh.
Also the kids I have made safeguarding referrals for this week - they aren't as great and selfless as your children too.

My ds (Yr10) is definitely enjoying the lie-ins (so am I) and doesn't seem to be too bothered at home schooling but he is shy and doesn't have a huge friends circle. He socialises online after school and we try to make sure he has at least an hour or so outside walking every day, board game in the evening etc. His skin is better as we're at home during the day cooking fresh food - I think he only picked at school lunches or would buy a sausage roll or something unhealthy when at school.

He's due to take one GCSE this June and is very happy the actual exam is cancelled. He would be really happy with centre assessed grades in Yr11 for GCSE as he finds the pressure of exams stressful.

@alfieum

Bully for you. It's been lovely consoling my kid crying child again this morning while remaining chipper and positive. I am sure it's just that they are not as great as your kids eh. Also the kids I have made safeguarding referrals for this week - they aren't as great and selfless as your children too.

it’s so hard when it’s hard for dc

My dd12 is getting on well with it. Her teachers really make a difference engaging them and being positive. I think it helps she has her usual timetable of lessons so has a routine dialling into them all which keeps her busy. She does hate not going out but is chatting to her friends all the time and laughing with them.

My 14 year old is just getting on with everything. He managed to contract Covid over Christmas and was confined to his room for almost two weeks, from time of close contact to end of his quarantine. He's probably doing the bare minimum, but hasn't uttered one word of complaint. I know I'm very lucky as my DD is the opposite and is really very low about everything.

@alfieum

Bully for you. It's been lovely consoling my kid crying child again this morning while remaining chipper and positive. I am sure it's just that they are not as great as your kids eh. Also the kids I have made safeguarding referrals for this week - they aren't as great and selfless as your children too.

Agree.

Both my dd 13 and ds 16 are happy getting on with things. Ds y12 wants to stay learning at home as it’s easier & requires less effort!

I think some have good weeks and some bad when it feels endless things not being normal. It will affect them all in different ways at different times.

I also think that hysterical parents make hysterical children. I heard a man on the radio a while ago talking about how terrifying and awful everything was, how his 7yo wasnt coping and was crying about everything, and it turns out his 7yo was listening to every word of his doomathon tirade. No wonder the poor child was struggling

Disclaimer: not all parents, not all children etc

Like Mistletoe's DD mine is similar. Missed out on GCSEs, dumped by her school as soon as it was announced that they weren't sitting exams, no leavers celebrations, no prom, no summer concerts, no NCS. I think that was the low and so it can't get as bad as that again for her.

She has to get on with her work unsupervised as I am out of the house at work. She joins her Zoom classes on her laptop on mute with the camera off and has her phone on FaceTime to her friends so she is having the social aspect of chasing her way through lessons.

I think perhaps it helps that she is EXTREMELY close to my parents who are both ECV so she has a tangible reason to understand lockdown, whereas for some teens it is difficult to empathise, not that they are unkind, just how their brains work.

That being said, she was never the most sociable child, so not having to navigate all that stuff is a bit of a relief.

to those whose kids are struggling.

My 14 year old dd is fine. Up and doing her online lessons every day. Laughing her head off with her friends on speaker phone, playing online games.

She wants to go back to school, but she’s fine.

Bit disturbed the other day by going in when she was in an online lesson. Propped against the computer scree was her iPad with all her friends on a zoom call at the same time....🤔😁

My 10 year old I am not worried about mentally. Physically, a bit, he has put on weight and isn't exercising enough. However he seems to have found a good balance between screen time, (which is varied on different devices and different games and includes playing with friends, playing on hs own and playing with his brother and watching TV) and other things - reading, painting, drawing. He is lucky in that he has a friend who is happy to go for a walk with him. He is whizzing through his school work and not really up for doing anything more than the minimum of what has been set, but in general, fine.
DS1, aged 13, on the other hand I am worried about. He has always been the most resilient child, but he has also always been one who got his energy from socialising and going out, while DS2 is a homebody. He is doing his lessons, and he is playing the same repetitive games on his phone and his Xbox every day, and that is about that. He does his best, but he is very down, he isn't getting enough exercise, he isn't reading for pleasure, he misses his organised sport, none of his friends will go for walks with him, and this can't end soon enough for me, I worry about him every day.

Did (15, ASD (aspergers) and ADHD) has been relatively stoic. As in not complaining about not seeing friends, or blaming oldies on not being able to go out.

She hasn't pushed to meet people. But she also has retreated into herself a lot more this lockdown than last one. She's injured so can't exercise, which had been a great stress relief in spring and summer.

She's GCSE equivalent here, but they still haven't announced any plans to cancel or change the exams, it's all about what might happen with A Level equivalent first, and her year are forgotten.

She's taking stuff out on us because of teen hormones, SNs and lockdown all combining, but it's showing up as lack of respect generally rather than anything specific about lockdown or COVID.

But she is downstairs right now baking brownies with her class for science (school has decided 1 class per subject each week should either be a fun class or a self-study class, not formal teaching online, which started this week). And hopefully some of those classes will allow the general chat of the girls to happen as well, as that can't really happen in formal classes and there's no "break" space for them to just chill/chat together. Her school is full-on with every normal class on the timetable being taught live online, just 5 minutes less for moving between classes technically rather than physically.

My kids are just getting on with it. They will be happier when they can go back to school to see their friends and do normal things but they’re doing well.
My eldest had his GCSEs cancelled last year, he was gutted at the time but it’s all worked out, he got the grades he deserved and is now doing his a levels. He really wants to be able to socialise but he does what he can online and using social media. My middle child had to start secondary school with all this going on but the school have been amazing and she’s happy. Youngest is at primary, misses friends but again the school have been really good.
They’re good kids, we had a dreadful year last year due to some things that happened in our family so I think they can see the bigger picture. They know things will get better so are just appreciating time at home.

She is getting on with some study, although less than last spring, and while not pleasant to be around, she's improved again in the past couple of weeks (and it's rare in our lives that it is relaxed and pleasant generally with her).

My 15yr old is fine. He does complain a lot about having a full timetable live every day. If adults had that many meeting every day/every week we would complain as well.
But apart from that he is fine. One thing that had bugged him - why can't ppl wear masks, have some alternatives to being in school full class and get this over with much sooner. But given how we are 1 year in, even he is just shrugging his shoulder that it's way too late.
He has quite a good social life through discord, and as long as he gets enough sleep (rarely) he is really funny and normal :)

My DD is similar also. She’s in Year ten and cracks on with a full day of live lessons without any prompting etc.

This is a marked change from the first lockdown though, when she was only required to do 3 hours a day of schooling for 6 months and no check ins from school. She was unmotivated, doing school work which wasn’t being checked by school etc. Changing to live lessons has made a massive difference.

I also work from home (full time) so she’s used to having to get on with it so to speak.

We do have a half hour lunch together and also carve time after I’ve finished work. She is also seeing a friend once a week for a socially distanced walk. Plus the weather is shite, so this helps I think!

DD 11 is spending all day in jammies. Happily getting on with her school work (minimal effort as normal) and then in the evenings connects with her friends online to play games. This is her idea of heaven!

She's also carrying on with zoom dance, guides and other activities

My 15 year olds are getting on well. In first lockdown I was surprised and impressed at how he got on with his work and was motivated and needed no follow up from me.
This time round, it is also going well and the school report on this half term which is due next week, I’m sure will show it too.
He is a down to earth kind of person and not prone to highs and lows especially. So he has high standards for work but isn’t a perfectionist or procrastinator and so gets on the work, finishes it and walks away.
The other thing is he has a lovely group of friends and they chat regularly on Zoom or on Teams. We have tried to avoid walking with others since Christmas to reduce transmission risks, but before that he regularly met a friend to walk when only 1 was allowed and over the summer, groups of 6 of the, would meet to do 15 Mike walks which took all day. They loved it.
He is also still involved with online venture scouts and a youth group. They keep the contact going with some people outside school.

He is a bit bored but he seems fine to be honest. It probably helps that things at hoe for the adults are stable such as work, finances and mental health and we too are very even-keel kind of people. Maintaining contact with people outside the hone helps a lot...having the confidence in yourself and in your friendship group rather than worrying you’re doing something wrong or being left out can be a big issue for teens and I think self esteem counts for a lot.

Of course, he would love to go back to school and normality.

I know lots are really struggling, but I think quite a lot are doing pretty well too.

My DS 11 is pretty chilled. He’s quite a home body. He talks to his friends on Xbox. Aside from an initial winge he will do all his schoolwork, of which there is a lot (6-8 subjects a day). He is actually improving in his school work because I challenge him a bit and he can’t fly under the radar, as he does in class because he is quite quiet. He does miss his friends but I think that is normal. I think I personally would have loved lock down as a child because it would have been a good way to escape the school bullies.

Why is it always so wrong to have threads like this? Someone always comes on and tries to drag it down.

No one is gloating that their children are getting on with it.

My two have been amazing. Year 11 and Year 13. Their school has been fantastic at setting work and the majority of lessons are live.

Don’t have teens myself, but my DNiece who is 14 was being severely bullied at school and Covid was a dream come true to her.

According to my sister, she’s a completely different girl and is so happy. She wasn’t happy when schools went back but due to the way classes were set out, social distancing and everything etc she felt a lot less vulnerable to the twits who were always after her.

I’m sure she’s not the only one delighted that Covid has come along because of bullying.

And I know I’ve missed the point of the thread really, but my point is that I bet a lot of kids are finding it a dream come true.