Homeschooling is impossible- end of my tether

[Edenspirits]

Both DH and I have keyworker status - I teach full time at a university so the department of education have given lecturers keyworker status and DH works shifts in a blue light call centre.

But the school have said they have no spaces as they are full.

I broke down today in tears as I am trying to teach live and plan my lessons and DD who is 8 is on her own most of the day and I have no time to school her. She needs my support and isn’t old enough to do it on her own despite trying to set her work. My lectures can be up to 2 hours.

I feel like I am neglecting her as she is mostly watching TV.

aibu to feel like I am going to have a breakdown if this continues for much longer.

@Iseestupidpeople yes they are classed as critical workers this time round.

And lols at getting them to schedule lectures around one lecturer’s child’s lessons. Timetabling at my uni takes place 6 months in advance and we are not allowed to reschedule timetabled sessions for any reason (even illness or last minute emergencies).

The IT platforms are doing my head in.
I can't understand the time table, what the tasks are, where they are (seem to be 3 different places) what all the bloody abbreviations and acronyms all mean.

I am perfectly able to help my 12 year olds in any subject..... If I only knew what the subjects are, where they are, when they are
Sachelone actually makes my brain bleed.
We aren't really getting much school work done, but children are happy and I refuse to stress about it.

Get them to schedule your live lessons around your daughters

Erm ... right. That’ll work.

@Iseestupidpeople

University staff aren’t keyworkers tho? higher education is elective so not compulsory. Get them to schedule your live lessons around your daughters and have your husband help out around his shifts too and do the prep once she is in bed.

So you think they will change the entire timetable to suit one person?

They are keyworkers.

I haven't RTFT but am sure I won't be the only one to say that, as per government guidance, you are entitled to a keyworker place at school even if you are wfh.

They are not allowed to cap numbers or refuse a place if you meet eligibility, which you do.

I would contact the school again in writing - make the point that you are both keyworkers, that even when at home you are delivering lessons.

If the school are being obstructive, and I am a teacher myself for context, contact the LA.

Hi again everyone- thanks so much for all your support. Have had the week from hell culminating in another melt down yesterday.

However - what I have done is email the school to say we are opting out of their structured 5 hours of work a day as it’s too stressful and my DD is utterly miserable and bored.

We will try to do either a maths or English exercise every day and a bit of writing/reading but the rest of the time I have said to DD that she can choose what she does. We will cook lunch together and she can do Lego, art, play with toys, whatever she wants.

I just can’t do both - I need to work to keep a roof over our heads so we will do what we can but i have to take the pressure off myself and her as it’s making us utterly miserable and stressed!

That is very sensible OP. I hope next week is better.

@Edenspirits Good to hear you’re feeling more positive. That sounds like a good plan. Just don’t be afraid to tweak it if necessary to suit you both!

Good for you OP

I do think that universities however are being highly unreasonable. They are profit making organisations and if the work is not 'critical' to covid response - then the OP should be given leeway/ slack as a parent at home.

This lack of support from employers is hugely disproportionately affecting single parents and women - but it is bad for parents everywhere.

I dont think employers shld be able to behave like this - it's a crisis and the reality is it is not just parents suffering _ CHILDREN are suffering because of it. At the end of the chain of responsibility here is a poor 8 year old kid - and the university shld really be offerieng more support to the parent.

I said it earlier in your thread OP and apologies if its been discussed but do remember paid childcare is allowed as are childcare bubbles - lots of teens / early twenties students around where I live doing help with kids who are being homeschooled/ taking them to the park etc with a friend as childcare (it's allowed)

They are profit making organisations and if the work is not 'critical' to covid response - then the OP should be given leeway/ slack as a parent at home.

So many people on here don’t have the first clue how profit making organisations function clearly.

The university has paying students who are expecting lectures from the likes of the OP. They can’t afford to just bin those off. There are already heated debates about whether they are getting value for money. And that’s before we’ve factored in the worst student experience ever due to Covid.

Many universities are on their knees financially to begin with. They absolutely can’t afford to cut their employees ‘slack’ as otherwise they can’t be charging the fees that are (barely) keeping them afloat.

Or do you actually want a substantial proportion of them to go under?

I'm a single parent. My DCs father doesn't live with us but the school turned me down for a keyworker place as exDH is not a keyworker. DC had 3 live lessons a day. I couldn't do it either. I told the school it was impossible to juggle DCs home schooling and my job and as my job put food on the table and a roof over our heads, my job took priority. DC didn't attend any live lessons and didn't submit any work (even though we had done it). The school phoned and offered us a place. Hopefully they will offer you a place OP

You can only do what you can do - BBC have got some good home schooling stuff she could watch. It is hard for everyone - teachers know this. They too are often parents and they will share your pain.

If you can't be there to sit with her, then you can't. Don't beat yourself up about it. It isn't ideal, but then there is nothing at all about this situation that is ideal for anyone.

We've been declined a place as I wfh , but both are KW. I haven't pushed for a place tbh, I've had Covid and don't want it again, and I know school are struggling with the numbers as it is. Many hospital employed parents at the school and so the fact I can wfh does, fundamentally, mean that I can keep DD safe.
In your circumstances I would be approaching my manager rather than the school, I don't know what the set up is with universities (I get the idea that contracts can be a bit insecure, and they can be bullying workplaces) but perhaps that isn't the case for you? I hope not.
I would try and do one thing at a time. As others have said - get DD set up with some work, or put on BBC bite size for when you are in meetings/teaching, and then try and squeeze in an hour 1:1 time going through the work together.
If you can do some reading together too that will help.
I don't know if you mentioned a partner, are they able to step in with the homeschooling?
Sympathies... I am just trying to muddle through too. My daughter is not doing much of the homeschool work but is doing various other creative things that I'm trying to support, at least she's entertaining herself .

Sorry just seen your update OP - sounds much more sensible and sustainable. Similar to what we have been doing, no way would we be able to do 5 hours work a day!! Barely doing 1-2.

I'd also recommend Let's Go Live 3 days a week on you tube for an 8 year old. Maybe a Horrible Histories fest over the next few weeks too? She could try to fit in 1 hour of watching then nearly one hour making, writing or crafting after those things - letting her be inspired.
I did wonder if your husband can request some more shifts during the anti social hours so he could take on the home learning for some of the week?

OP,
You need to give yourself credit.

You are doing better than you think.

I would complain again to the school and ask if school teachers working from home have places for their children. I would expect they do.

Printout that you have key worker status and are entitled to a place. You cannot look after your child while delivering a 2 hour online lecture and you will be complaining to your local authority if you are not offered a place.

We didn’t do the structured stuff the school set last lockdown. Kids had a schedule of sorts to follow pretty much themselves as I’m a student nurse so needed to study and be online etc at the right times.
This lockdown the school uses Teams and ds(8) can mostly manage his own work. So you’re not being unreasonable to tell the school that they’d not provided appropriate work so you’re not doing it.
However I do think your dd could be encouraged to watch cbbc educational stuff- write some lists or make a mind map of what she is learning. And maybe do a personal project with her time despite you working. When you do have time also I’m not sure why she’s doing stuff online with a friend or cooking/baking as you could do a little maths or writing with her? Is there also time she could sit and work with you as you’re not on live lectures all day surely?