Who does this gift belong to?

[BabyofMine]

A group of work friends buy a gift for another work friend.

One work friend (not me so as not to drip feed!) organises it, collects the money, orders the item and is going to deliver it to the work friend.

Because of some mess up with the company, the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

Whose is second duplicate gift from the company?

YABU= belongs to the organiser
YANBU= belongs to the person the original gift was meant for

(The YABU/NBU choices were random btw - I genuinely don’t have an opinion either way, I am one of the “contributors”)

I am surprised at people saying it should be sold and the proceeds split. So the poor organiser, who had all the hassle of purchasing, chasing and ensuring they were available for delivery of the original item now should get the dubious pleasure of selling the compensatory item so that some grabby people get part of their money back.

My advice op? Make sure you’re the organiser for presents for this organiser and organise nothing for your grabby colleagues.

The company recognises the organiser had a lot of hassle and sent a gift to compensate - surely it goes to the person the company was trying to compensate? Organsing and ordering gifts is a pain - I personally would be delighted the organiser had some reward for all their work.

1000000000% the organiser.

If they want the item then anything else would be totally outrageous.

The organiser not only contributed money, but also had the hassle of ordering the item, agreed to use their time and fuel to drop it off. Bothered chasing up the issues with no guarantee of compensation.

And now some cheeky shits who've done nothing except chip in the same money as the organiser think THEY should benefit, and deprive the person who earned the item! Unreal. You ought to fully support the organiser on this.

@Mummyoflittledragon

I am surprised at people saying it should be sold and the proceeds split. So the poor organiser, who had all the hassle of purchasing, chasing and ensuring they were available for delivery of the original item now should get the dubious pleasure of selling the compensatory item so that some grabby people get part of their money back.

My advice op? Make sure you’re the organiser for presents for this organiser and organise nothing for your grabby colleagues.

They'd probably expect her to organise the selling of it too!

The organiser was good enough to arrange the gift, and she was the one who was inconvenienced by the company. Obviously the gift belongs to her.

@shyposter

To be honest the organiser didn’t even need to tell anybody about the freebie and it was clearly intended to offset the hassle she’s had so I don’t think there should be any quibbling about whose it it. It’s hers.

I don’t understand the posts which say she shouldn’t have mentioned it. Why not? I would, as it wouldn’t occur to me that a transaction between me and a company would be construed by some people as me keeping something they bizarrely feel they have rights too.

Also the reason companies do this sort of thing is so you do tell people. They sure as shit know the organiser would have been saying to the group ‘crikey I’m having a nightmare with this company etc’. So to offset the bad reputation, they compensate generously because they want the organiser to say, ‘well you know all that hassle I had with x? The company have sent ME a free x as compensation for it’. I doubt it crossed her mind that someone else would feel entitled to it for no effort whatsoever.

and yet apparently, they did.

Yeah, but just because people react to information in a self absorbed way doesn’t mean you would a) know that they would, or b) censor yourself just in case they did. The organiser can’t help it if others are being selfish twats.

I wouldn't have imagined anyone could possibly think it wasn't the organisers to keep, but look at this thread. There are plenty of grabby tossers who think its not. Weirdos.

Perhaps what they need is more conversations where they are not the recipient of something, which isn’t all about them or what they can get out of it. Because they obviously need reminding it’s not all about them and some times good fortune, or in this case, compensation happens to others. They could maybe learn to just be happy for someone else rather than seeing it through the prism of ‘what about me’.

Isn’t this what we teach our kids? Mine grew out of that by 5 years old.

Definitely the organiser.

In normal circumstances I'd say it would be nice for the organiser to buy a big box of chocolates/brownies/cupcakes to share out as a kind of thank you/ nice thing to do for those that contributed. But I'm guessing COVID sucked the fun out of that too

Organiser should keep it obvs. The recipient has already got one (or similar).

Sounds like someone doesn’t really like the organiser or has a grudge against them if they think that.

n normal circumstances I'd say it would be nice for the organiser to buy a big box of chocolates/brownies/cupcakes to share out as a kind of thank you/ nice thing to do for those that contributed. But I'm guessing COVID sucked the fun out of that too

The organiser, who did all of the work, should spend her money buying treats for all the people who did nothing but hand her a tenner and let her do all the hassle of the job?

WTF?

But..organiser didn't get a present. The present was for someone else - people contributed to buy the present. The receiver should indeed say thank you.
Organiser was given compensation by the company. The others didn't pay for this.

Give to to charity FFS ,if its perishable auction it off between you
and donate the funds to charity......................

@msgreen

Give to to charity FFS ,if its perishable auction it off between you and donate the funds to charity......................

Do you do the same when you get any kind of compensation for being messed about?

@msgreen

Give to to charity FFS ,if its perishable auction it off between you and donate the funds to charity......................

Why should she? She got the gift as compensation for being messed around, she was the only one who was messed around, everyone else just handed her the money and let her deal with it (by she I mean the organiser obviously)

In normal circumstances I'd say it would be nice for the organiser to buy a big box of chocolates/brownies/cupcakes to share out as a kind of thank you/ nice thing to do for those that contributed. But I'm guessing COVID sucked the fun out of that too

I think you've got the wrong end of the stick??

Tbh a organiser is part of a group buying a gift for someone else. The organiser is the one doing all the work... why would they buy cupcakes for people?

@OneForTheJourney

Definitely the organiser.

In normal circumstances I'd say it would be nice for the organiser to buy a big box of chocolates/brownies/cupcakes to share out as a kind of thank you/ nice thing to do for those that contributed. But I'm guessing COVID sucked the fun out of that too

This is my favourite response so far. So the organiser gets to contribute financially to the gift. And then obviously organise the collection of money. And sort out buying the gift. And gets messed around by the company. And also organises giving the gift.

And is then also meant to at her own expense buy something for the other contributors to thank them for letting her spend her own time sorting out the present? Is that really your suggestion?

I have organised birthday presents and so on before. I have contributed to other collections. At no point have I expected the organiser to thank the contributors for just handing over cash.

That's ridiculous.

And I would say never, ever happens.

The company have given the organiser a thing to say sorry for messing her around. Nobody else was messed about. The recipient got the gift that everyone contributed to.

What bonkers world does the organiser have to give a gift to the contributors?

Oh this has been a wonderful insight into how nobody actually works. Hooray @OneForTheJourney for the best contribution. I award you a medal. And now please buy me a cake to say thanks.

You are welcome.

@DanielODonkey personally that what I would have done, if I were the organiser. But hey ho. I'm a nice person who would have expected a free gift to the value of £100 without everyone contributing. I wouldn't of had the pleasure of the free gift.

I think if the organiser was demanding it, then I'd say the giftee, but if they'd only quietly mentioned they would quite like it, but not presumed they had the right, then the organiser.

A sense of entitlement would put my back up.

I'd totally suggest the organiser gets it. 100%

Sometimes life's like that. Someone gets lucky. There's no clear solution. You just have to go with the best fit.

[quote OneForTheJourney]@DanielODonkey personally that what I would have done, if I were the organiser. But hey ho. I'm a nice person who would have expected a free gift to the value of £100 without everyone contributing. I wouldn't of had the pleasure of the free gift. [/quote]
aye right.
In normal circumstances you think the organiser would buy everyone cake to say thanks for contributing to a present the organiser had to sort out? And does the organiser get a bigger cake from all the contributors to thank them for organiser and for the cake?

Nah. You aren't a nice person, you're talking havers.

And it wasn t a free gift. It was compensation from the company because they messed the organiser about. None of the contributors are out of pocket, and don't need thanked for transferring money to the organiser.

I’m genuinely shocked at the amount saying the organiser.
Depends what the gift was - we need to know OP 😉
I’d say it belongs to the group - everyone put money in, present that was messed up affected everyone who gave money. Personally, I’d stick it up for sale on FB and either buy cakes for everyone or split money.

@Whattodo1610 How do you believe the present that was messed up affected everyone who gave money? Serious question? The group all gave their money to the organiser, the recipient got the present. How on earth were the group affected?? They did nothing (other than give their money in). They were not affected at all by the hassle - only the organiser was affected by that and spent a considerable amount of time sorting it out.