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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who does this gift belong to?

344 replies

BabyofMine · 02/02/2021 12:10

A group of work friends buy a gift for another work friend.

One work friend (not me so as not to drip feed!) organises it, collects the money, orders the item and is going to deliver it to the work friend.

Because of some mess up with the company, the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

Whose is second duplicate gift from the company?

YABU= belongs to the organiser
YANBU= belongs to the person the original gift was meant for

(The YABU/NBU choices were random btw - I genuinely don’t have an opinion either way, I am one of the “contributors”)

OP posts:
RumJerrySailorRum · 02/02/2021 17:57

It's not a gift.

It's compensation.

The sour faced, miserly, grabby fuckers have nothing to be compensated for.

It belongs to the organiser.

Plussizejumpsuit · 02/02/2021 18:01

I think it's a nice little bonus for the organiser of the gift. Which is a faff to do.

CoronaIsShit · 02/02/2021 18:07

Whoever is begrudging the organiser getting an unexpected freebie, for the time and effort they put into doing something nice for someone else, they are a nasty piece of work.

People generally show their true colours in these situations.

SunsetSenora · 02/02/2021 18:21

@MrsKoala, the post doesnt say the first person didnt get anything. If that were the case, the item would obviously go to them. The issue is they got a second identical item and have to decide what to do with it. I stand by drawing names out of a hat if people are not in agreement the organizer keeps it.

MindGrapes · 02/02/2021 18:27

Going with OP's example of it being a 'toaster':

Another of the group (not the original organiser) takes on the role of 'new uber-organiser'. They set up a rota for those who want the duplicate toaster to have it for one week each at a time.

Another of the group takes on the role of 'treasurer' where each other member pays a deposit for the weekly use of the toaster in case of damages etc. They'll need proper receipts drawing up, etc.

Uber-organiser manages diaries and transport of the item between group members.

You might find people realise 'organising' something is indeed a hassle and worthy of having the thing sent to apologise for that hassle!

SpudsandGravy · 02/02/2021 18:28

The gift from the company? That belongs to the recipient.

The gift from the colleagues also belongs to the recipient if it's already been given. If it's not yet been given it belongs to those who contributed.

SpudsandGravy · 02/02/2021 18:30

Oh, sorry - I misunderstood.

The company sent a gift to the organiser for herself, for having somehow messed her around? So presumably that belongs to her, but you'd need to tell us more to be able to understand it properly.

MrsKoala · 02/02/2021 18:32

@SunsetSenora I mean why would the person who made the effort and had the hassle from the company not get anything. Nothing to do at all with the gift recipient. Who is not connected at all to this totally separate issue.

lanthanum · 02/02/2021 18:33

Donate it to a raffle

KatharinaRosalie · 02/02/2021 18:54

All people saying to donate and draw names and whatnot - if you're on a business trip and you are paid compensation by an airline when your flight is delayed, will you also donate the money or give it to random colleagues? Why?

Veterinari · 02/02/2021 19:00

@BabyofMine

To answer: worth about £100, organiser would like it, I’m not personally bothered as not something I’d like, and yes it was a lot more hassle for the organiser, having to chase things up, write loads of emails, normally I’d say they had to stay in twice when it was supposed to be delivered and wasn’t but I guess they would have been in at the moment anyway - still an annoyance/stress for them though.
The company have sent the gift to the organiser as compensation for messing her about. It's a direct transaction between the organiser and the company.

Bugger all to do with anyone else.

Or are the complainers suggesting that she should get all the hassle of organising plus be treated like a pariah for accepting a gift in lieu of shoddy customer service?

Those people are weird. And entitled/envious

Veterinari · 02/02/2021 19:02

@Stompythedinosaur

I think it belongs to the group and a conversation should happen re the item rather than the organiser just keeping it.
Please explain how an item sent as compensation for messing the organiser around, belongs to people who were not messed around?
WayTooSoon · 02/02/2021 19:03

You've answered your own question in your first post.

the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

The company sent it to the organiser as an apology gift, not sent to the organiser to pass on to the other friend. Therefore, by your explanation, the gift belongs to the organiser.

CokeAndPepsi · 02/02/2021 19:06

It goes to the organizer. Why would the gift recipient need two of the same?

unmarkedbythat · 02/02/2021 19:07

The organiser.

TillyTopper · 02/02/2021 19:08

I think it goes to the organiser - they had the hassle. Personally I'd just be grateful I didn't had to organise it and I'd duck out of the whole discussion.

PurpleFlower1983 · 02/02/2021 19:11

I would let say the organiser for the hassle.

vulturedudess · 02/02/2021 19:41

I hate organising stuff and appreciate when others do. 100% it should go to the organiser. The contributors should just be relieved they didn't have to sort it and be pleased for the organiser.

Original poster
BabyofMine · 02/02/2021 21:10

Thank you everyone for your opinions! I’m going to strongly exert my influence (they’ll usually listen to me but I really didn’t have a strong opinion Grin ) and suggest organiser keeps it and they pipe down. (Actually no one has said anything to her they’re just being a bit gossipy/complainy about it).
Someone asked why did they company send nearly the same thing if it isn’t something you would have two of, I’m pretty sure the organiser had told them in emails that it was a gift for someone else. So I do think they did really mean it for the organiser. I kind of feel a bit stupid even asking now cos it seems so obvious.
(And yes the person getting the “original” gift has their gift and is v happy so no problems there).

OP posts:
DarceyDashwood · 03/02/2021 08:11

Can’t believe some people are seriously suggesting the item gets raffled off - my god!! And wonder who would get the joy of organising it 🤔

Sounds like the organised had to deal with a load of extra admin and faff sorting the present out. Can’t believe some people are so mean spirited they would begrudge her the freebie.

Seriously hope this person never ever volunteers to organise a collection and pressie ever again. Let one of the begrudgers do it next time! FFS

Bluebell24 · 03/02/2021 17:23

Definitely belongs to the organiser who spent time organising the gift and was inconvenienced.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 03/02/2021 17:27

What is the gift? Depends on what it is

Cookies2015 · 03/02/2021 17:27

Organiser gets it because they put the work in.

roxanne119 · 03/02/2021 17:30

Names in a hat 😊

Ddot · 03/02/2021 17:32

Either let the organizer have it or put names in a hat