To ask for a pat on the back RE weight loss - sad about DH's reaction

[FluffyBlueJumper]

Since mid-October I have lost a lot of weight (over 4 stone). I have gone from a size 18 to an 8-10.
DH has not said a thing, so yesterday I playfully asked him to feel my back, because all the padding has gone.
The only thing he said was "Ew, your skin has changed, it is like old lady's skin". (FYI I am 39 and there is no loose skin hanging off my body).

I am feeling crushed. It has made me realise that I cannot even remember the last time he complimented me. It is always little digs, little put downs.

Can you please tell me I have done great?

You look fabulous OP, a massive well done from me. I think you should seriously consider ditching another 12 stone though, you'd be happier without him.

You look wonderful, and your not-so DH is a graceless churl.

You look amazing OP!
Your DH sounds like at best miserable knob who will complain about anything and at worse controlling and dismissive. That’s no way to live. Use that iron will of yours to think about what kind of life you and your children want and deserve to have.

That's amazing!! You look absolutely incredible!

You've only got a large lump of husband left to loose and then you'll be done!

He sounds vile. You're not trapped, there is always a way out. Get rid, it will be hard, but doable. You're clearly strong and determined.

You look amazing and more like 29 than 39!

@CheltenhamLady I have a very detailed excel spreadsheet with daily weight, BMI, weekly loss etc. (yes, I have an obsessive personality...)
Here is the graph. As you can see, I lost a lot of what must have been water weight at the beginning.

@HitchFlix I aim for between 35-50 minutes of exercise a day, the key word being variety. I have upper and lower body strength days, HIIT days, kickboxing days, abs... I try to mix and match them to not do the same body part / training type two days in a row. So I might have HIIT and lower body strength one day, and kickboxing and abs the next one.

I have a rest day when I am too busy / toddler won't nap / etc. which is usually about once a week.

Forget him, deal with that drama at another time. This is seriously inspiring, good on you! Please share your weight loss journey x

You're a superstar! Well done.
He's jealous and putting you down so you don't swan off with a new man.
Well done, that's a great achievement.

DH sounds mean spirited, minimising, unkind. I think getting angry would be an excellent idea!

Wow amazing weight loss!! They say when people achieve goals like these it's helps with your self esteem and confidence (and rightly so) I think you are now "waking up" after being stuck in a rut and seeing things for what they really are.

Did he not acknowledge the Christmas present thing or try to make it up? Did you get him presents.

4 stone in 4 months is incredible!!! Well done 💙💙

Is your husband overweight? He might be feeling jealous and wants to put you down to make himself feel better.

@combatbarbie no he did not get me a present later.
I did get him presents, but like his birthday presents, they are still sitting on the windowsill, untouched (but that would be another thread...).

He's an oik. Possibly jealous in case your new figure attracts other men! Well done, 4 stones in 3.5 months is amazing.

Wow you look amazing !!! Welldone you !!!
Hubbi maybe insecure he will soon get used to the new you !! So inspiring I started the 16/8 yesterday ! X

That is fantastic OP congratulations.

Well done op you look great and very like lana del ray ! I think he is jealous and doesn't really sound like a nice man anyway . I'd be taking steps to leave him you deserve better

Fantastic.

But your husband sounds really awful. I've read your updates as well. Time for bigger picture, I'd think.

I mean this genuinely you look fantastic and habe done an awesome job.

I don’t know why he’s abusing you op. But he is abusing you.

Do you need or want to stay?

Just saw your pics, you look like a model. How on earth can I get the same 'iron will' lol. Any tips welcome. What was your motivation to start losing weight and continue every day? How did you deal with setbacks?

Op you look absolutely incredible - inspiring. You could pass for about 19yo!

Seems your h liked you fatter for some reason best known to himself.

Massive congratulations. I can't even lose half a stone. It's really tricky and you must have worked so hard

@Birdsofafeather17 I was stuck in a cycle of binge eating, feeling bad generally and then eating more. I remember how I used to look away from mirrors and windows because I was horrified at my reflection. I had even stopped exercising, whereas in the past I had been doing my daily workout whatever my weight - it is completely dissociated from weight loss in my mind.

I remember lying awake in the night from October 11th to 12th and realising that I was doing nothing all day long because I was looking for reasons to stay near the kitchen to stuff my face, and asking myself if this is what I wanted from life. Was I going to tell myself on my deathbed "well, at least those biscuits tasted really good!". Was it the example I wanted to give to my DCs?

The next morning, I forced myself to dress myself well, put on makeup and perfume, and treat my body with respect by not hoovering 5000kcal a day.
And then I did it the next day, and the day after that.

Once the vicious circle was broken it became much easier.

‘ Once the vicious circle was broken it became much easier.’

THIS is what he now knows that you can do.
That you are bright, brave, determined & can focus on a great outcome.

He is worried, & should be, that you may well call quits on him.

P.s. love the chart.