What happens when your teenager runs away?

[OBitchPeas]

Just turned 14 a couple of weeks ago, packing his stuff because we took his phone away.
2 weeks ago he was at the police station in the middle of the night because he snuck out.
Now he's kicking off because he hasn't got his phone.
Saying he will leave and never see us again.
He has no phone and no money.

I was trying to talk some sense into him in a calm
manor but he was being so painfully unreasonable that I ended up shouting.
He's now utterly trashing his bedroom. So he's still hear at least.

But if he leaves, what happens next? Obviously I call the police but what happens then?

I think they would be on the look out very fast tbh

@Nonamesavail

I think they would be on the look out very fast tbh

They were.

It's very easy, they simple give his description to all the police officers that were out and they have it on their radar as opposed to actually looking.

Then the police officer that had come to our house had done so via a couple of places to see if he was there.

Then while he was here taking notes, after about 45 minutes he got a call through as a sighting and he left to go and find him.

But then we got a call to say he was "actively running from police" 🙄

So they stopped. They could see he was absolutely fine, and what can they do if the little sodd runs away?

They said if he wasn't home they would try later but he was home by 5.30ish

Sounds like you're making good headway there, OP. Well done and all fingers crossed!

I'm sure you'll get through this. Parenting teenagers is hard and triply hard at a time when they're all cooped up indoors. There is no rule book for parenting during a lockdown - we're all just making it up as we go along.

The fact you're talking is so good. As long as you're doing that, you'll be okay I reckon.

I feel your pain. It seems like it's a catch 22 situation. You put in boundaries because that's what everyone advises. They rebel against them. Then you are told to trust them so you give them responsibility and trust, they break that trust again and again. You put the boundaries back, they rebel more and so it goes on.
Your son sounds like my DD op. Talks constantly since a toddler, like a whirlwind, risk taker, loves the fun.
We have had a great relationship, talk a lot, we have talked about all aspects of teenage concerns. However, she still gets drawn to the fun, drama and risk and the other kids who are more thrill seeking.
She's always been pretty compliant but recently since turning 14, she is very moody and horrible if we remove her phone and says it will make her rebel more.
When I relax a little she still does this stuff so I don't think that's true. The letter in
The 'Holding the rope thread' in the teen section helped me a lot.

Read the second post in, not sure who wrote the letter exactly but really makes sense.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/3816762-Thread-Four-Holding-on-to-the-end-of-the-rope

There is a new film called County lines if u can stream it for him x

@OBitchPeas

Thank you to all of those who have given me sensible advice. I really appreciate it.

I do worry a lot about county lines, I have voiced this to him many times.

I do sit and listen to him a lot.
When his dad goes to bed early he'll come into the front room and talk my ears off. I always have to make a mental note to record the programme I had intended to watch that night because I know there's no way I will get a look in.

It's much calmer here now, we have compromised and he's playing on my Switch but he hasn't asked to have his phone. He asked when he was getting it back and I said tomorrow, he was surprised and pleased.

We have agreed to (suggestion of the police officer) that when he is so angry that he needs to leave (I totally understand that feeling) that he leaves and goes out for a maximum of an hour where he doesn't have to tell me where he's going but he does need to be a back home, to give him time to cool down and I don't need to call the police.

Oh bless him. He sounds lovely and so do you.

I think that police officer gave some good advise.
He need to learn how to deal with emotions in a positive way.
He has to figure out his triggers.
You all do
He should be able to say I need a timeout before he feels he needs to 'run'.

Glad he's home
Hope you can get through to him about the weed.