Love my house but neighbours are watching us

[Isitevapornot]

Moved into my house two years ago, we’re renting, late twenties. Love our house, it’s perfect for us — if we could afford to we would buy it. The only problem is with one set of neighbours. We get on well with one side, but the other just watches us. If we are in the garden they will mutter under their breath and huff, so we don’t go in the garden anymore. If I’m putting the bins out they stand and stare at the window. Every time we return home from the shops, they watch us through the curtains and hide whenever we see them.

It makes me really uncomfortable and I’m not sure what to do about it - I’m worried speaking to them about it would make it worse!

Would you move?

YABU - No

YANBU - Yes

On the assumtion that the we refers to two adults rather than one adult with children I think both your partner and you could just do whatever you want, sit in the garden, hang out washing.
Some neighbours are really nosey, some are intimidating but to carry on like that they must have very poor lives to make someone unhappy in their home.
I was in that position, but I was a lone adult with a young child. I stuck it for years. The neighbours are a couple, they constantly tell me that they are from a certain area (think gangsters and all sorts of other illegal goings on), It got to the stage that I would not go out at all. I decided this was not a quality of life at all and moved. I had lived with these weird neighbours for so long that I was pleasantly shocked with my new neighbours.
You should not have to leave a house because of neighbours but if you want to have quality of life you might have to.

Maybe they were good friends with the people who lived there previously and resent you being there. If you’re not doing anything to annoy them (as others have said, noisy dog, children etc) then you have to ignore and get on with your life. Wear headphones in the garden so you can’t hear them muttering. Your anxiety is likely building it up into something much worse than it is. 2 years is a long time...

If they mutter, ask them what they said.
Just a cheerful, sorry didn't hear you, were you talking to me.
Then lots of waves, in fact when you come in wave at the window, even if you don't see them. It'll freak them out.

Fuck them! Grow a pair! It’s your garden and your house. You deserve to live there!!! You hear them say “Fuck’s sake!” Then you say “You alright?” Confront back!!!!

My friend had a very similar situation, other (renting) neighbours swearing and commenting when they were using the (communal) garden, as was their right.

One day she "quietly" (but meaning to be just loud enough for them to overhear from their window) as they went into the garden said to her husband "get ready to press record, remember just one more swear and they're over the line for the council criteria"
Neighbours never bothered them again

Argh, the stars didn't work, but I'm sure the word is obvious.

Are you loud in your garden op?

@Isitevapornot

They’ll mutter ‘for f*cks sake’ when we go out there. Sorry, there’s not much to give apart from what I’ve explained. They’re intimidating in a way that I am quite quiet and anxious so it puts me on edge

If that's the worse they do, you need to learn to ignore.

If they were shouting then it would be difficult.

Wear headphones. You won't hear them then. Don't let them drive you away

Are you sure they are that interested in you, OP, let alone being intimidated. If they are elderly or immobile, they may just have nothing else but to watch the world go by. It is probably nothing personal to you. If they are lonely, just wave when you see them in a window.
Have you ever spoken to them? Or found out their cirumstances?

I would try to ignore it

As neighbour problems go it could be a lot worse and you won't be there forever

We're hoping to move after Easter next year. The house three down from us often make a lot of noise in their garden very late at night, gone midnight. I love it right now as it's too cold for them to be out. I'd take nosey over loud

You pay rent, your entitled to go out and enjoy your garden. Please dont give a fuck about what your neighbours are doing, just ignore ignore ignore. They sound like weirdos

Go out in the garden in a skimpy outfit or get your partner to do so.

What race does it offend? I've googled and all I can find is that it's considered classist.

@Isitevapornot

They are very intimidating

I wonder if they are trying to drive you out??

Have you very noisy children??

Noisy kids and trampolines hard up against neighbours fencing is often a cause of discord... Sadly I knew of one family {lots of kids} but owner occupiers, who were driven out by a really toxic neighbour who did constant ''Surveillance'' with video cams and in person.
Ghastly behaviour.
The old boot still has the cameras up, but trees have now hidden most of her spying from me ;)

@evouk

I would try to ignore it

As neighbour problems go it could be a lot worse and you won't be there forever

We're hoping to move after Easter next year. The house three down from us often make a lot of noise in their garden very late at night, gone midnight. I love it right now as it's too cold for them to be out. I'd take nosey over loud

Same here.... I used to flip the bird at the neighbour's cameras, but then thought it gave her attention, so just ignored them eventually.

I still think we've gone into this with no info OP - have you ever had a parking issue or a fight with them? Why did they suddenly start doing this and who are "they" - man, woman, old, young, with or without kids, do they share party walls with you, do they work, do you work - so much info we'd need to advise you I think?! (or AIBU?)

Give them a jolly vigorous wave when you see them or say ''BOO'' loudly"!

They probably have nothing else to do or they enjoy making you feel uncomfortable. The solution to both is to go about your business like you don't care. Wave to them sometimes, if you see them in the garden say good morning. If you happen to sunbathe topless that would be great.

Their muttering and huffing must be very loud if you are noticing it every time they come out. Are you sure they don't just mutter and huff all the time?

I doubt I'd notice any of those things, and if I did see them standing at the window when I was putting the bins out then I'd assume that they often stand at the window and that's when I notice them.

They're probably muttering "look it's the neighbours who keep staring at us".

They stare and mutter and that’s caused you to stop using your garden? I dont know how you get through the day! Ignore them. It’s simple.

@Devlesko, I would like to apologise to you. You’ve rightly called me out for using a perjorative term.

I didn’t mean to cause offense to the Romany & Traveller community. I’ve reported my post so it should be removed.

I’ve enjoyed reading the AMA thread you started.

Ignore ignore ignore. If you like the house and location then l wouldn’t move. I would ignore their huffing, puffing and tutting. At times l can be confrontational so l would tempted to ask what their issue is but it sounds like you wouldn’t want to do that