Best CF stories part 2

[HepLaurenceLB]

First thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3905995-Best-CF-Stories

@Sidewalksue

Probably not the worst... So we used to get the train to work a few days a week depending on mine and DHs work schedules as we shared a car. They changed the timetable slightly though so it was a huge rush for me for me to drop DD off and catch the train. Using childminder was difficult because it wasn’t regular days. DDs friend from school mum offers to take her. So I would drop at hers, DD would wait in her hall for 5 minutes and they would walk to school. Often it might only be once a week or not at all. I was really grateful and her DD would come to mine at least one night a week and I would feed her (and mum was always difficult about her going home so often very late). I also took her for regular full days out to theme parks etc and never took a penny. However the mum complained to mutual friend about how put out she was and basically said I should be paying her like a childminder at least £10 a time. Luckily I had got a car and said thank you but I wouldn’t need her help anymore and got her a present. her DD still would come to mine (my DD was never invited to hers) but I did stop the days out as they never said thanks and the mum would be difficult about her DD going home. She complained to mutual friend that I wasn’t taking her out anymore and how unfair it was as she really loved all her free days.

Bit mean of your "mutual friend" to tell you this though

Wow, many gobsmacking cautionary tales here. Inheritances, weddings, babysitting, job interviews ... Let us all read and learn! Here are mine:

1. Clever 12yo gets a full scholarship to a private school. Knowing this family, I'd have said it was a very good opportunity for her. Her DPs met the principal, accepted the scholarship ... but come the week before school started DPs still hadn't bought the uniform. She said they'd yelled at her when she asked them about it. She was frantic, thinking she'd have to forfeit her place at the school, so I had a word to the DM, who laughed and said "Oh, well, it's not that urgent, you know! DD is just being silly." Fortunately the girl got some secondhand items and was able to start school on time. But then her DPs refused to buy her books, pens etc, telling her that the scholarship should include books and stationery (it didn't; tuition only), and what a cheek of the school to expect them to buy all this. These people both worked in steady jobs, so I have no idea why they'd decided they "couldn't afford" basic school expenses!

1. Cruise ship in the South Pacific. At that time Suva, Fiji, was a famous duty-free port where Australians liked to stock up on cameras and electronics. I was in a shop when a fellow passenger tried to take an expensive boombox-type radio, telling the salesman she'd be back in the morning to pay for it. I innocently piped up, saying "Oh but wait, we're sailing tonight -- you'd better pay for it now." She gave me a full-on death glare but I persisted, thinking she was honestly mistaken. She dumped the radio and flounced out. CF indeed!

When I was 7 months pregnant with my firstborn, my s.i.l ( married to my DH brother ) visited me. We were sat in my garden as it was a lovely day. She went to to the loo a couple of times, which I thought nothing of.
The final time she went, I saw that she came downstairs with armfuls of my none maternity clothes, sailed past me to her car with a breezy ' well you don't need them do you '
I was so stunned, I was speechless as she just drove away.
When I looked, she had taken literally half of my wardrobe of clothing!!

@OhGiveUp She stole your clothes! Did you get them back? What did the CF expect you to wear for the rest of your pregnancy?

@Groovergirl They were my normal pre pregnancy clothes. I got most of them back eventually.

@callmeadoctor - I think the mutual friend here did a service for @Sidewalksue. Only when these CFers get called out on their behaviour do they stop (as per the example of @groovergirl's point #2).

I'm somewhat relieved that I don't know any one who has done anything like this to me or to my family but at least I can be fully armed ahead of someone trying to pull a stunt like any of the above if it should happen in the future!

I was invited to a wedding of my newish partner's friends. It was the other side of the country despite the bride and groom not having any connection there. None of the grooms-men could drive so I quite happily drove them all there. We stayed in horrible accommodation where the wedding was to take place. I won't go into detail as it'll give too much away. The next morning, we got ready and I drove the grooms men to where the ceremony was to take place. About 30mins away, no buses etc...... Some people had already been informed there wasn't space for them at the ceremony. I thought it really rude to tell them this on the day. I'd even been asked to tell some people which I refused to do. So we drove to the ceremony. I went in the building where I was very rudely informed I wasn't welcome due to space. I said nothing but walked out basically fuming. I then sat in a cafe for a couple of hours to drive the grooms men home. Apparently I said something snide about this situation that got back to the bride and groom and I've been in the dog house since. I could go on about issues with that fucking wedding but feel better it being buried and it would be outing. Obviously my partner doesn't see those friends very much anymore. They're massive users and make it clear I'm a inconsequential to them.

@Franca123
You sat in a cafe and waited? I would have drove away and left them stranded lol

Bookmarking.

But as I'm typing, I'll mention that I can't decide whether this thread is entertaining or depressing....

@Franca123

I was invited to a wedding of my newish partner's friends. It was the other side of the country despite the bride and groom not having any connection there. None of the grooms-men could drive so I quite happily drove them all there. We stayed in horrible accommodation where the wedding was to take place. I won't go into detail as it'll give too much away. The next morning, we got ready and I drove the grooms men to where the ceremony was to take place. About 30mins away, no buses etc...... Some people had already been informed there wasn't space for them at the ceremony. I thought it really rude to tell them this on the day. I'd even been asked to tell some people which I refused to do. So we drove to the ceremony. I went in the building where I was very rudely informed I wasn't welcome due to space. I said nothing but walked out basically fuming. I then sat in a cafe for a couple of hours to drive the grooms men home. Apparently I said something snide about this situation that got back to the bride and groom and I've been in the dog house since. I could go on about issues with that fucking wedding but feel better it being buried and it would be outing. Obviously my partner doesn't see those friends very much anymore. They're massive users and make it clear I'm a inconsequential to them.

If that had been me, I'd have driven off, packed everything and gone home.

Fuck that.

I've had some CFs take advantage of me in my time, but if I was told I wasn't welcome, I'd have made myself scarce.

When my dh mum died, 30 years ago, her sisters swooped like witches into her flat, after she died but before the funeral, and took every bit of jewellery, clothes and photos Leaving her 3 sons with nothing.

I would have left but I didn't blame the grooms men really. They'd been put in an impossible situation too. Needless to say, the wedding was shit and everyone was ripping the piss fully the whole time. We went on holiday with them all years later. 400 pound per couple. We were told we were on the pull out bed in the lounge while the rest had really grand beautiful bedrooms. We drove off home. Didn't even say bye. Fucking piss takers.

@Franca123

I would have left but I didn't blame the grooms men really. They'd been put in an impossible situation too. Needless to say, the wedding was shit and everyone was ripping the piss fully the whole time. We went on holiday with them all years later. 400 pound per couple. We were told we were on the pull out bed in the lounge while the rest had really grand beautiful bedrooms. We drove off home. Didn't even say bye. Fucking piss takers.

Please say that you didn't pay them £400 for a holiday you didn't end up taking because you were offered the pull out bed?

Yep. Had a massive row where I told them fully what I thought then we drove off. We were essentially subsidising their holiday. I couldn't give a toss about the money. Let them live with the fact that they let someone subsidise their holiday. That's on them. We've had apologise since from all but two of the couples, but only one couple offered any money back which we of course refused. Ultimately it's not about the money is it? It's about respect and decency. What hurt was, I'd bought a box of some nice wine with me which we left behind by mistake. That hurt!

Bump

Just bookmarking

I’m unfailingly generous, I just hate the idea of anyone thinking I’m tight and generally I’ve never had a problem with people reciprocating.

Except.. I used to date a guy who made v little money so he always wanted to do free stuff. We lived in Sydney so this was fine (beach, hiking etc.) I also got freebies from work (advertising) so occasionally we’d go to the cinema or to an event (polo with free drinks etc). He was always relatively grateful.

He lived with his mum so stayed at mine 2-3 nights a week and I’d cook / buy wine. He didn’t drink much. But he rarely bought anything with him or reached into his pocket at the supermarket.

It was his 30th bday and he asked for a kindle. Fair enough I thought, not cheap but it’s a bid bday. Anyway he went off on a trip (solo) not long after (a week I think). And I got a call on day 2 saying he thought we wanted different things and it made sense to call it a day.

I wouldn’t have minded this at all but the £100 kindle expenditure still rankles.

Also my husband is even more generous than me. He gets it from his dad. Very good with money but always gives extremely thoughtful and expensive gifts.

I’ve always loved this about my husband but for whatever reason his sister doesn’t seem to have inherited the gene. She’ll ask for expensive presents for her birthday / Xmas (think £100 perfume) then for his he’ll get a £15 ball for the pool or some other bizarre supposedly thoughtful gift that reminds them of their childhood..

Her husband is exactly the same. They never tidy up after themselves or host you. We went for her daughters birthday (hour and a half drive so 3 hour round tip with our 6 MO). No offer of a drink (everyone else is having bubbles) or anything else.

I’m used to it so help myself. Same thing every time we see them. They want to host but it’s always MIL who has to bring the food. You either get yourself a drink or go thirsty. Drives me mad.

Oh one more complaint. Husbands parents always book a holiday home on the coast for all 6 of us. The first year we went we arrived (on time) and took the room suggested. They arrived at midnight and were furious about having the other room (felt it was poorer quality). We were staying 2 nights.. they tried to get us to swap, I said no.

The next time they turned up half a day early to nab the best room and kept explaining why they deserved it because we “stitched them up” the year before. Never mind that they weren’t paying for it! All very generously covered by the in laws. I always buy them a gift to say thank you and am given daggers by SIL because they don’t want to.

I’ve one more. A very close school friend (10yrs+) invited me to spend the weekend with her at her uni town. I’d finished my degree and was working for minimum wage in London. She was a medical student in Bristol. I got the train up after a long week at work to find all her mates getting ready to go out drinking the cheapest booze possible but also doing lines of coke (strange priorities but whatever).

I barely spoke to my friend because she was busy with her mates and we jumped in a cab to go to a really crappy student club. After a few hours I’d had enough and said I was getting a taxi back to hers l. Cue shock and horror from the group about me not staying to split a cab (would’ve been a few quid cheaper for them and I was expected to hang about till closing time).

Ignored them and went home. Got into her bed and fell asleep. Hours later her and some bloke she’s seeing climb in and he attempts to negotiate a threesome. I walk off and sleep on the sofa.

She apologised the next day and promises she and I will catch up over a pub lunch. 10 mins after ordering she gets a call from her bloke from the night before saying he’s stuck at a petrol station without his card. Can she come and pay and sort him out and he’ll drive her home. She leaves without a backward glance.

I ate my meal, walked 2 miles to the station with my overnight bag (was expecting a lift and couldn’t afford another cab after the night before) and didn’t see her again. I got a text not long after asking for my share of the booze bill from the night before (I’d got my own drinks at the venue and steered well clear of their Lambrusco). No apology for basically inviting and then deserting me for a weekend.

Some of these stories are shocking and I'm
Astounded at the shameless behaviour of the cfs. I suppose that's how they get away with it and their lack of self awareness.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Who had left you the money? Did the executor not ensure that you and your brother were given the money?

I'm guessing that the mum was the executor.

When we were younger, my DSis had a friend whom she invited to come over for tea one evening (all agreed with our DPs). After that, once she knew when our tea time was, she would turn up EVERY day 'to play' five minutes before we were about to eat and then have to go home five minutes after the meal, with no actual time for ever 'playing'. This went on for some time before we realised what was going on, after which our too-nice DM told her kindly that the time didn't work for us for playing, so not to come back again unless it had been pre-arranged.

Of course, I don't blame her at all - her mum (single parent) was obviously telling her when to go around to the Sausage Rollses for her tea. As well as the cost, we thought it really sad that her mum apparently never wanted to share any family tea times with her DD and would rather her crash another family every single evening.

I would see this more not as the mum not wanting to spend time with her child but trying to get her fed

My mum and I visit a beautician monthly, me to get my eyebrows waxed and mum to get her eyebrows waxed and a facial.

She has a (quite badly behaved) dog who sits in the room during appointments and tends to jump up on the bed when we are having our treatments The beautician decided to breed her dog a few months ago and when she had the puppies we made a fuss of them when visiting. She asked if we would like to buy one of the pups, we would both love a dog but my mum works strange hours and wouldn’t like to leave a puppy alone for long and I have a pretty intolerant cat who I wouldn’t like to upset. The puppies all went to good homes and the beautician kept one.

She recently went on a big trip to Australia to visit her daughter who was getting married, since it was so far away she decided to stay for three months and sorted out a sitter for the dogs.

Last week my mum got a message from her in a massive panic saying the lady who was watching the dogs couldn’t cope with them and could my mum or me go pick them up and watch them until she gets back in two months My poor Mum felt so guilty having to say no but she already knew that we had valid reasons for not being able to have a dog and yet she still asked! Also is it normal for the woman who waxes your eyebrows to ask that? 😂

No, not normal, but believe me when our dog’s home boarder cancelled the day before we were due to go on a three-week trip to the US, I was calling anyone , even if I had spoken to them once 20 years ago…. Of course I was offering to pay - anything! (In the end had to leave dog with a criminal out on licence but we were that desperate…)

Not major but a friends family member is always broke.
I would lend the odd 20 here and there .Then it because a regular thing, they'd call me on a Sunday, give it back on the Wednesday.

They had a few people they would do this with.

One day I asked asked for 50 instead of 20. Was told it was for electricity/gas, food etc. I had to remove from a machine so they came with me as they needed to go shop anyway..
Person proceeded to buy 20 smokes, a large bottle of vodka with mixers and ordered a curry. I was gobsmacked.