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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be offended by this joke?

193 replies

Fruityherbaltea · 30/01/2021 10:42

My baby is 6 months old. I visited family recently and a family member fed him a bottle in my presence.

My baby was moving a lot so the family member said: "You have to hold still, otherwise I will stick in the bottle the wrong end" while grinning.

I was quite offended by this joke and thought it was inappropriate. Am I justified being offended or am I being precious?

OP posts:
smoothchange · 31/01/2021 16:56

Putting a bottle

shrill · 31/01/2021 16:56

With and without the back story you are definitely not precious!

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 16:57

@smoothchange I'm quite surprised anybody would be offended by a stupid throw away comment that their dad would make to his grandchild tbh. People talk shit to babies and don't think about what they are saying

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 16:58

I'm quite surprised anybody would be offended by a stupid throw away comment that their dad would make to his grandchild tbh.

Like I said, consider the type of people you associate with. This kind of thing is not normal.

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 16:58

We all have different boundaries and what we would take as an off the cuff remark and what we would take as something more sinister I guess.

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:00

@smoothchange exactly I am not In A position that anyone I know would make a comment like that in real life! So maybe would be more offended if it happened to me and my baby. Hard to say when we don't know the dynamics of the family etc

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:02

[quote clpsmum]@smoothchange exactly I am not In A position that anyone I know would make a comment like that in real life! So maybe would be more offended if it happened to me and my baby. Hard to say when we don't know the dynamics of the family etc[/quote]

Well that's a complete change

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:04

@clpsmum

We all have different boundaries and what we would take as an off the cuff remark and what we would take as something more sinister I guess.

Different boundaries Hmm

Yes. Yes we most certainly do. You called me a snowflake for suggesting that this was inappropriate. Our boundaries are very very different.

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:08

@smoothchange not a complete change! Still not offended and still think it's a pretty silly thing to be worked up a lit. I do acknowledge though that it's easy to say that when it's not me or my baby it's been said to! Yes called you a snowflake and still think if there's no back story then i don't find it offensive or a an actual threat just a stupid comment said without thought

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:09

@smoothchange yes very very different boundaries

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:11

Oh come on, there is not a chance you have missed the back story. Even if you missed it you can't have missed all the comments referring to it. Funny how you keep saying you don't know the dynamics and if there is a back story. You know there is.

However, even without a back story, this kind of comment is wholly inappropriate. You don't need a fucking back story to know that. People who think joking about abusing a baby is fine are seriously lacking in something, and it's not a backstory.

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:14

Havent read the thread. Just op and the messages mentioning me. Not read any backstory but will now.

It is not a joke threatening to abuse a baby. I would take any threat of abusing a baby very seriously this is not that

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:15

@smoothchange just read the thing about had it been her sister she wouldn't have batted an eye. The fact her father exposed her to pornography at a you g age changes things doesn't it.

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:17

[quote clpsmum]@smoothchange just read the thing about had it been her sister she wouldn't have batted an eye. The fact her father exposed her to pornography at a you g age changes things doesn't it.

[/quote]

Actually it doesn't change a thing. It is inappropriate whether you have been abused in the past or not.

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:17

It is not a joke threatening to abuse a baby. I would take any threat of abusing a baby very seriously this is not that

Erm.....

clpsmum · 31/01/2021 17:20

It's not a threat to abuse a baby it's a stupid comment (inappropriate or not). If op thought it was a threat to abuse a child I would sincerely hope she would have contacted the police. She didn't she thought it as an inappropriate joke as she states in op.

Anyway you can have the last word I've spent far too much time arguing with a strange on a topic that doesn't involve me!

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:21

You are the only person saying it was a threat.

Whichname98 · 31/01/2021 17:28

You're a bit precious,yes.

luckylavender · 31/01/2021 17:30

Precious

daisypond · 31/01/2021 17:32

@Whichname98 and @luckylavender

Have you read the OP’s posts? And you really think she’s being precious?!

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:35

My last comment was worded badly. This is not about whether or not the comment was a threat. It's about whether or not it was appropriate. It wasn't. There isn't a single situation where joking about this is acceptable.

Alonelonelyloner · 31/01/2021 17:35

I've RTFT and I still think she's being precious. Yes.
He wasn't threatening or joking about sexually abusing a baby!
He was saying something silly in response to the baby wriggling around!

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 17:43

He wasn't threatening or joking about sexually abusing a baby!

He was joking about exactly that. Putting the bottle in the 'wrong' end. What do you think that meant?

luckylavender · 31/01/2021 17:46

@daisypond - yes thank you.

luckylavender · 31/01/2021 17:47

@smoothchange - oh for goodness sake

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