Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

That’s the thing op it’s falling out over 70 quid. She undersold it and I’m not sure I buy you didn’t know that. Arguing you did hair and nails for free so she owes you is a bit much, you should have told her you wanted paying

Personally I’d not do what you’re doing to her to a friend or family member, but equally I’d not have said anything to you either, Just kinda silently judged you.

*Because she under valued it, which is the only reason the op is profiting. Because she’s family and because it’s kinda shitty to take the fact a family member undervalued something and to then sell it on rubbing your hands.

The op was big into seeing what is was worth now.but surprisingly reticent when she was buying..*

She also wanted to get rid of bulky item without dealing with selling sites. The undervalue could have been just to get rid. If she wanted more money it was easy as hell to google and determine its price.

If I discovered family sold me a Renoir for £30 by accident I would share, but quibbling over £150 when the table has been sold and gone 4 years is petty.

She's family so you should give her half of the profit.

When I moved I gave a tv to my friend when he moved he asked me if I wanted it back and I said no , so he sold it on eBay and offered me the money , around £70 , I didn't take it as he's probably given me loads of stuff over the years and vice versa
Selling can quite often be hard work , dealing with time wasters etc , you earn what you get

I think you are cheeky and mean. If I was your sil I would go no contact. Sorry but it's pure greed.

She's in the wrong and if it was me in her position I'd be happy for you I hope, and if I wasn't I'd have the grace to keep my gob shut and not stir it up! BUT in the interests of family harmony maybe you could offer to share the profits with her (after all she's already had £30 from you).

@Viviennemary

I think you are cheeky and mean. If I was your sil I would go no contact. Sorry but it's pure greed.

REALLY? No contact over a coffee table?? It's nutters like you that cause all these family feuds.

Give her a tenner in loose change and an invoice with ridiculous things such as maintenance for four years £50, storage for four years £20, advertising and marketing labour £10, customer service £20.

I can't believe she charged family for it in the first place unless she was really hard up.

No I would not share the money.
I wouldn't dream of sulking over some money from an item i sold 4 years ago!

I think someone needs to be told no and stop behaving like a brat.

I could split the profit, I'm not desperate for money however I'm actually quite upset about the whole situation because for the last 10 years I've done her hair and nails for free. She buys the products I need for her hair, I use my own supply of nail products and she's never paid me a penny. And I was fine with that but now she's made a huge fuss over this I just think it's really out of order of her. She's saved way more than the profit I made on the table. I just think it's petty to raise it.

It would have been entirely pertinent to include the above in the OP so YABU on those grounds alone.

Obviously the answers you receive will be skewed against you without that bit of critical information.

I think she’s the petty one. She was happy with the deal right up to the point at which you’ve got lucky and managed to get more. By selling online, of course, which requires a bit of effort and potential hassle. Personally, I’m done with selling stuff online and would rather give things away for free or sell for less to a trader - good luck to those who do.

I could see her point if you’d snapped it up and then sold it on quickly because you knew something about its value she didn’t, but you bought it for genuine reasons, used it for four years and are now disposing of it as you would another possession. It wouldn’t occur to me to share money in this situation.

That being said, I’d probably bung her the £60 as it’s no amount to get into a dispute with family over. And just regard her as petty and greedy ever after!

Why would you put money over people when it’s family?

Couldn't that same question be asked of the SIL?

I never met anyone in real life who holds ownership of things after they had sold or gifted them.

Having read your update, I'd certainly make your availability to do her free beauty treatments considerably more difficult.

You owe her nothing! She was selling it because she didn't want it. And now you sold it because you no longer need it. What you sold it for is irrelevant.

Is give her the money. It's just not worth falling out over but it's also fine to stop doing her hair/nails.

I don't think you've done anything wrong and if I was your sister I'd be pleased for you that you got your money back plus extra. However, for the sake of peace I'd split the difference. It's not worth falling out with your sister for that sum of money.

It was yours to sell. Tough titties to your sil

How did she know you sold it for £150?

With hindsight, you should have sold the table discreetly (not on Facebook) and SiL would never have known what you sold it for.
Some thing are just better not known.

Do you think maybe she knew she could get more money for it but she sold it to you cheap because you were family?

If that's the case I can see why she'd be pissed.

If however she was happy to get rid of it and with the £30 you paid then she really doesn't have any claim to the extra money or reason to be pissed off. She snoozed, she losed!!

Ethically you have done nothing wrong but pragmatically you should bung her £60 and be gracious about it. It's not worth falling out over.

The fact you've been doing her hair and nails for free, even using your own nail products, makes her a CF for charging you in the first place!

@Viviennemary

I think you are cheeky and mean. If I was your sil I would go no contact. Sorry but it's pure greed.

If you were the SIL and you went no contact, you’d have to pay for your own hair and nails rather than having them done for free. If you were ok with that fine, but it seems a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

In your situation, I would give her £120, ie ALL the money, less the £30 I had already paid. I would also continue to do free beauty treatments.

And I would always think what a petty, greedy cow she was!

She is a CF. Some people really have no grace.