Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

I think you should split the profit with her. This has the potential to cause a long term family rift. Be the bigger person.

I don’t think you’re in the wrong.

Afterwards, depends on how much you value your relationship with her.

santa but it's not the same as buying something from a charity shop* or the profit from a house sale etc - it's something from your DSIL.

Of course 'technically' the OP is in the right, there's certainly no legal obligation to give her DSIL anything but morally and for the sake of family relationships I can't imagine not offering to share.

out of interest, I manage a charity shop and people do* offer me more money than things are priced at sometimes when they recognise the value.

Reverse?

Why does she care? Not hers for 4 years already

I do have a reason for being so stubborn about it but didn't want it to sway the response to this particular situation.

I could split the profit, I'm not desperate for money however I'm actually quite upset about the whole situation because for the last 10 years I've done her hair and nails for free. She buys the products I need for her hair, I use my own supply of nail products and she's never paid me a penny. And I was fine with that but now she's made a huge fuss over this I just think it's really out of order of her. She's saved way more than the profit I made on the table. I just think it's petty to raise it.

You're a cheeky bastard 😂😂😂

@ barskits
A mid-century vintage Danish coffee table by a well known designer.

I have 1960s dining table and 8 chairs by a Danish designer. Are they seriously worth that kind of money ?

I bought a dpuppy for 50 quid 7 years ago..
They are going for 100's now. Should I send on the extra cash to the breeder?

Did they sell you the puppy for a song? Have you sold it and bragged to the original owners that you’ve made lots of money?

Of course you don’t owe her anything practically or legally.

But emotionally, within a family, why wouldn’t you offer her some of your windfall? Just to share the wealth?

You didn’t go into it to turn a profit. So I would’ve offered a nice present e.g. bottle of fizz and some flowers - the extra £30 on top of what you originally paid but as a gesture.

Kindness goes a long way in family relations.

Massive drip feed .....

I’d give the table back to her and let her sell it and get your £30 back

It’s not worth falling out over or the hassle of selling the table tbh

She is a greedy mare and a CF - but you know that. No more hair and nails for SIL!

With your update YANBU

@PoppyBean

I do have a reason for being so stubborn about it but didn't want it to sway the response to this particular situation.

I could split the profit, I'm not desperate for money however I'm actually quite upset about the whole situation because for the last 10 years I've done her hair and nails for free. She buys the products I need for her hair, I use my own supply of nail products and she's never paid me a penny. And I was fine with that but now she's made a huge fuss over this I just think it's really out of order of her. She's saved way more than the profit I made on the table. I just think it's petty to raise it.

I change my response: I maintain that not only you are not in the wrong, but I now add she’s an entitled grabby princess

@Ragwort

Massive drip feed .....

That, also.

Drip feed and a half there. Sod her, you’ve saved her thousands over the years.

She's being ridiculous. If she wanted more than £30 she could have sold it herself.

@PoppyBean

I do have a reason for being so stubborn about it but didn't want it to sway the response to this particular situation.

I could split the profit, I'm not desperate for money however I'm actually quite upset about the whole situation because for the last 10 years I've done her hair and nails for free. She buys the products I need for her hair, I use my own supply of nail products and she's never paid me a penny. And I was fine with that but now she's made a huge fuss over this I just think it's really out of order of her. She's saved way more than the profit I made on the table. I just think it's petty to raise it.

Oh bloody hell - context is everything.

What’s the point of “not swaying the response to the particular situation” if YOUR response to the particular situation is swayed by a different reason?

Well you stop doing that for her for free for starters. What a cheeky mare.

There are something's you just don't talk about. And buying a coffee table for £30.00 & selling it for £150.00 is one of them

If people want to go off on what the "moral" thing to do is maybe they should ask themselves why it was "moral" to take money from family in the first place.

If I'm selling something I sell it and family/close friends aren't involved. I wouldn't dream of charging a member of the family for it.

OP, yanbu. You paid for the table, it's yours, and what you do with it 4 years later is the business of no one.

I think you're technically right but I would definitely have offered her at least half the profit.

There will be no happy ending to this

Don't give her any money.