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Original poster

Family fall out over a coffee table!

485 replies

PoppyBean · 29/01/2021 21:30

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/01/2021 23:02

Technically you’re in the right, and of course legally it was yours to sell for what you wished.

Morally would I do it, nope, not unless I was really proper skint. I’d not be saying “hey you didn’t know the value, haha I am coining it in because of it “

Personally I’d split it. I’d be saying hey this was yours, I’ve sold it for x let’s split the money as I realise I under paid at the time.

ItsAllComingBackToMeNow · 29/01/2021 23:02

Hmm, given the drip feed... if I was SIL I would be saying to myself, well there’s the profit from the free beauty treatments. If I were you, I still couldn’t keep such a big profit from a relative. You are trying t o retrospectively add this to the beauty treatment arrangement, if you weren’t happy with that, you should have said so previously. It’s quite reasonable for you not to be happy with that, but you should have said so.

Theunamedcat · 29/01/2021 23:03

Send her the money but don't do her hair and nails cheap in the future

You reap what you sow

HarrysWife · 29/01/2021 23:03

Im with you and think she asked for an amount and you paid it. Does that mean if you sold it for £20 she would give you half the defecit back (£5)?

However that said, years ago my DSister was selling some childrens bedroom furniture so I purchased a wardrobe off her, which I still have. She set an amount and I paid it. Years later I was selling some garden toys. She saw me list them on a selling marketplace and asked after a certain item for her grandchild. I sold it to her. When my DH dropped it round she thanked me she said "eventually when we are done with it and I sell it, I will give you half the money if I get more for it than I paid". I was Confused by this as that had never entered my head as a thing people do. And I had no intentions of doing that with the wardrobe (not that I told her that, and obviously would now I know its "the norm").

kale99 · 29/01/2021 23:05

It's your table and you can do what you like with it !! She didn't want it anymore

MartiniDry · 29/01/2021 23:06

nimbuscloud, antique and vintage is my occupation. Yes, good quality mid century design furniture made by a known and respected company is very desirable in the right market.

It's not to everyone's taste which is why you see Ms Smith the secretary sell hers on eBay for a hundred or so, and a well promoted identical piece sold by a dealer with the offer of nationwide shipping realise five or six times the sum made by Ms Smith.

Market well and you'll do well: Quality always sells.

littlefireseverywhere · 29/01/2021 23:06

I’d give her half. But also stop being a pushover in doing her nails & hair, you’re saving g her a fortune.

blubberyboo · 29/01/2021 23:07

She’s obviously forgotten you do her beauty treatments for free. I think you need to gently remind her of that. Ie we do favours for family so that they get life a little easier.

You got a cheap table, she gets free labour

You defo shouldn’t have told her the sale price though

aliloandabanana · 29/01/2021 23:07

You have nothing to feel bad about - she should have done some research before selling it to you. She was probably glad to get rid of it and get something for it at the time. If you'd sold it 4 weeks later, suggesting you were out to profit from it, then I could understand it, but 4 years later?! Anything can happen to the price of second hand items in 4 years!

People on here have the weirdest views on this sort of thing. On the one hand, anyone short of money is told to eBay everything that isn't fixed down, but apparently if you actually make some money on selling anything, you should look back over the last twenty years and see if, actually, someone you might have known in the dim and distant past is entitled to that money, in which case you should give it all away. Take the money - it's yours.

LOTM · 29/01/2021 23:08

I'd give her the £60. Life's too short. Not worth having a family feud over a table, regardless of who's right or wrong.

Spiderbaby8 · 29/01/2021 23:08

Why would people offer her half?

-She didn't want to deal with selling to strangers.
-She got money for it and got rid of something she didn't want.
-Four years later the OP deals with advertising, selling to a stranger which can take time, effort.

I don't think she's entitled to anything let alone half.

PanamaPattie · 29/01/2021 23:08

I would hardly call £150 coining it. SIL is pissed off because she can't believe the OP made a profit on FB. If the OP had only made a £10, I bet SIL would be laughing at her.

SuitedandBooted · 29/01/2021 23:08

I'd give her half the profit minus the £30. And never touch her hair or nails again. It's surprising how busy you can be....

1Morewineplease · 29/01/2021 23:09

There have been various threads about people getting something for ( almost) nothing then selling them on.
Consensus is that the buyer can do whatever they want.
If your relative wanted more money then they should have advertised it for sale.
I'd sit back if I were you. It's their loss , they had the chance.

LagunaBubbles · 29/01/2021 23:12

Don't feel bad. Tell her if she wants half the profits she needs to start paying for her treatments to.

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2021 23:12

@Spiderbaby8

Why would people offer her half?

-She didn't want to deal with selling to strangers.
-She got money for it and got rid of something she didn't want.
-Four years later the OP deals with advertising, selling to a stranger which can take time, effort.

I don't think she's entitled to anything let alone half.

Because she under valued it, which is the only reason the op is profiting. Because she’s family and because it’s kinda shitty to take the fact a family member undervalued something and to then sell it on rubbing your hands.

The op was big into seeing what is was worth now.but surprisingly reticent when she was buying..

Iloveacurry · 29/01/2021 23:12

After your update, you should definitely not pay her anything.

Add up how much her hair and nails would of cost her if she’d actually paid for them.

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2021 23:14

Is that really where you want to go op? That you want to charge her for your time with hair and nails because she under sold you a table and you profited big time?

Shodan · 29/01/2021 23:14

"I'm not giving you any of the money. I already give you free hair and nail treatments."

purplebagladylovesgin · 29/01/2021 23:14

Technically the profit is yours. But personally I'd want to share the good fortune with my sister in law, especially if we were close. I'd do the same for a friend.

notacooldad · 29/01/2021 23:15

I would minus what I paid and sit tbe difference.
I know it was 4 years ago I know its yours, I know she couhave sold it herself but for the sake if family harmony I wouldn't fall out over money. Definitely not,its not worth it.

Livelovebehappy · 29/01/2021 23:17

TBH, I wouldn’t even have mentioned it to her. She probably would have been none the wiser if you had just quietly sold it. Ignorance is bliss.

Lalliella · 29/01/2021 23:17

Legally you did nothing wrong. But morally - seriously?? Give her the £60. It’s only fair. She’s family, it’s not a business transaction. Why would you put money over people when it’s family?

Lalliella · 29/01/2021 23:18

@LOTM

I'd give her the £60. Life's too short. Not worth having a family feud over a table, regardless of who's right or wrong.
Yes, this
printmeanicephoto · 29/01/2021 23:18

Why did your SIL ask for any money for the table in the first place? I would never sell anything to family - I just give stuff to them - they're family for goodness sake! I just don't get this!

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