Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

Ignore and forget about it. Next time done take favours from anyone or give favours. I'm going to do that same. I've just realised how people behave like this to 'control' you. Your SIL needs to understand once she gives away something it's no longer hers. I wouldn't borrow/get anything off her too. Id expect her to give someone her old clothes expecting them to wear it until they turn to rags. Then have a fit because they decided to donate them. Tbh, I wouldn't accept things from someone who thought they should dictate how to use it, how long to use it even when they decided they no longer need it and it was clutter for them. What does she think you were doing? Saving her clutter? For your own sanity is just ignore it and let time pass. Your brother seems like an idiot for bringing up past favours. He needs to do things if he wants to, not I'm doing you this favour you owe me later...

I’d send the £60. with a current price list for hair and nails.

@PoppyBean

It's turning into tit for tat with my brother, reminding me of the time he done some work at my house. He came once for a day and helped my husband dig some footings for an extension. Seemingly forgetting the time my husband spent several weekends at his house to re-wire and fit new heating system, not that I mentioned this. It's pointless. It seems the odd favour from them entitles them to a lifetime of favours in return. I've just shut it down and said let's not fall out I think in future it's best to just keep things to friendly visits and play dates for the kids.

Yeh you won’t win there. It’s obvious you’re staff and whatever you and your dh have done pails in comparison to the day of digging.... almost like he likes digging his wife and himself a hole.

Id probably have shared the additional money or passed it all on in the first instance. The thought of making money/profit from a close family or friend doesn't sit well for me. Do you really want to fall out over it and cause long term problems between you all?

However saying all that I agree you haven't done anything wrong. I'd just give it to them to keep the peace in the knowledge that you were the bigger person.
Its really kind of you to share your skills with family and friends at a free or reduced cost again take comfort that you are not being unreasonable. If they take you for granted or abuse your kindness then just make your excuses and don't do it in future. You will likely never make them understand mid battle.

Please make sure to regularly post pics of your perfectly manicured nails on your fb op..

Just read your updates. They aren't being very nice about the whole situation. Also I wasnt aware of you doing free nails and hair!!! Wow....shes being very silly here as you are worth your weight in gold. Think you should end all free hair and nail treatments from now on. I wouldn't get into any more conversations with them about it. Is it worth taking the table down from sale, and just keeping it for now. Perhaps sell it next year when they dont know!

I’d send the £60. with a current price list for hair and nails

£45 is half the profit not £60

But I would only send this if accompanied by a flyer and a note saying

“ Hi everyone ! This is my new updated price list for mates rates ( with like 5% off the going rate )
whenever lockdown is over, I’m determined to focus on using my professional skills on planning for my kids future as they have missed out so much this past year. I’ll let you all know when the diary is open”

Then advertise a hair voucher competition on Facebook marketplace with small print stating that friends and family cannot enter

Mmm sil is being unreasonable but for the sake of 50 quid and family harmony or whatever I'd give it to her and move on, certainly not worth the drama over such a small amount. If it was 1000s I'd understand.

SIL sounds very immature though.

@blubberyboo

I’d send the £60. with a current price list for hair and nails

£45 is half the profit not £60

But I would only send this if accompanied by a flyer and a note saying

“ Hi everyone ! This is my new updated price list for mates rates ( with like 5% off the going rate )
whenever lockdown is over, I’m determined to focus on using my professional skills on planning for my kids future as they have missed out so much this past year. I’ll let you all know when the diary is open”

Then advertise a hair voucher competition on Facebook marketplace with small print stating that friends and family cannot enter

If she paid 30 and sold it for 150, the profit is 120 or 60x2.

I like the price list suggestions.

*You all sound petty, grabby and not very nice. I'm surprised you've lasted this long without already having this type of falling-out!

Regardless of nail lamps, baby stuff and who does whose hair, splitting the profit with her would be the fairest thing to do about the table.*

No, it would be rewarding someone for being grabby over something they sold 4 years ago. OP took the initiative to research how much the table was worth and sold it for that price. SIL could have done the same thing and chose not to. SIL is entitled to nothing nor does she deserve anything. At a push, OP could offer SIL the £30 SIL asked for it other than that SIL really shouldn’t get anything.