Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

Technically, you are completely within your rights to sell the table and pocket your profit. However, it would have been so much better to have split the profit with her. You did nothing to earn it, she did you a favour when she gave it you for a few quid, and now it looks like you have taken her for a mug. For the sake of £60 you have damaged a load of good will and caused a lot of upset. I cannot understand how you would not have automatically thought that you should share the excess with her. I wouldn't see you the same way again I'm afraid.

Wow, she is really out of line. She is so in the wrong here and needs to get over herself.

You shouldn't have told her how much you got for it.
You paid what she asked and kept it, not like you sold it straight on, then when you couldn't use it anymore you sold it on and happened to get more. I dont think you should give her any more money for it.
Did she buy it for a lot of money originally? Why would she sell it for 30 quid if she had though?

@TheYearOfSmallThings Me too!!

had exactly this with a few family members when we moved house a few years ago , sold some fairly new appliances for very cheap to family as well as giving other stuff for free. Some family members then sold them for more, has soured relationships since.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

I really want to see a picture of this third hand coffee table that sold for £150!

A mid-century vintage Danish coffee table by a well known designer... you could add another nought onto that price easily.

I certainly think that after using it for four years and presumably doing your research helped you write a good description and taking good photos got you the sale you did.

Very much think the money is your money. You earned it.

However, your mistake was to tell others what you sold it for. To your SIL and BIL, you made a profit from their goodwill. To help make this right, split it with your SIL, less the £30 you paid her snd also any listing fees or other fees you have incurred (ie PayPal fee)

Then in future, keep what you sell for to you.

I wouldn't be remotely miffed if I were the SIL. It became your table once she sold it to you. It's absolutely none of her business what you then did with it, four years after the sale.

I sold it on Facebook marketplace so she saw the ad. She messaged me to say I must be bonkers to think I'd get that for it. Then when it sold she asked me how much I sold it for in the end so I didn't go out my way to tell her and I wasn't going to lie, didn't feel there was any need.

At the time she said she'd been meaning to list it but couldn't be bothered with all the time wasters and just wanted it gone. She could of sold it for much more had she made some effort herself.

I wouldn't have charged a family member/mate in the first place for a coffee table 🤷‍♀️

It was your table. You bought it. From who and for how much is irrelevant. I wouldn't be splitting this either and she should get over herself. If she could have been bothered, she could have got more. Her tough luck.

I still think you should give her 60 quid. You still get 90 so your initial investment back plus you got 4 years' use out of it.

What is your reason for not offering her half? Are you that hard up that you need the money ... surely she did a nice thing by letting you have the coffee table and only accepting £30 so why don't you do the nice thing and offer her half the 'profit'. Do you really think it's worth falling out over?

I love the expression (learned on Mumsnet) 'do you want to be right or be kind' .. I know which I'd rather be.

I’d be pretty embarrassed to profit from such an arrangement, no matter how long had passed. I go with YABU.

Send her a new dummy..
She is a cf...

Not your problem.

Her response says how much SHE thought it was worth. Her selling it to you for £30 to begin with reinforces that.

The fact you took time and effort to research said item and list accordingly is fair imo and I wouldn’t split the money.

She could’ve put the same time and effort in to selling the item but wanted fast easy cash instead so sold it cheap and quick.

She can be mad all she wants but she can’t claim 4yrs down the line that she’s lost out.

Hell she could’ve used that £30 and bought something else cheap and flipped it for a profit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your fault for sharing too much info. You have to share the money now otherwise you’ll cause bad blood and nobody will trust you again.

I bought a dpuppy for 50 quid 7 years ago..
They are going for 100's now. Should I send on the extra cash to the breeder?

Yes, technically it’s yours but this approach doesn’t work in families relationship. I think you should share some money with her. She didn’t charge you real price because you’re family.

@Ragwort

What is your reason for not offering her half? Are you that hard up that you need the money ... surely she did a nice thing by letting you have the coffee table and only accepting £30 so why don't you do the nice thing and offer her half the 'profit'. Do you really think it's worth falling out over?

I love the expression (learned on Mumsnet) 'do you want to be right or be kind' .. I know which I'd rather be.

So if you bought something at a charity shop or boot sale and discovered it was worth a lot, would you go back? Or you bought something at a shop which then appreciated massively, so you should go back and give the shop half of the appreciated value? Makes no sense.

What about making a profit on a house sale? Chase up original owner and bung them some notes ?

She's an idiot

She didn't charge the OP the real price because she couldn't be arsed to find out what it was worth or list it on FB herself. None of that is OPs fault, who paid what was asked. SIL didn't give it to her!
That said, I'd give her £60 for the sake of family relations because you have made your money back and a nice profit.

So if you had sold it for a tenner for example, would she have given you the difference, the loss?

It's yours to do what you want with. If she had gave you it free I would have expected you to offer her it back but not when you paid for it. This is 4 years later.